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« on: December 06, 2009, 06:06:28 AM »
I'm not even sure what I meant by incapable because it is so hard to read other people's minds and know their true intentions.
I guess if I had to describe what I meant, it would have to incorporate several factors.
These were quacks. They had no training to be doing any of this stuff. The ones who were part of the system way back when, who founded these schools all came out of existing programs like CEDU and Rocky Mountain Academy. They considered people like Mel Wasserman and all the later School Directors to be gods, and they took what they said as gospel. So you could argue, they were not too bright to begin with, many if not most of them had criminal backgrounds, drug and alcohol issues and were probably easily manipulated. And as they started working the program from their end, as staff, they had to go in to it figuring it was good stuff. Sure, many might have done it initially for the paycheck, but you have to consider many of them probably weren't too knowledgeable about any of it enough to question what they were doing. We are talking about people with little to no education, college or even High School. These were not members of Mensa or Harvard graduates possessed of great intellects. They were hired through what I believe was a very simple process that looked for people who would go along with things without much questioning. It has been shown that they sent out special questionnaires asking specifically about their position on corporal punishments and so on. Their answers were then used to gauge them. I think to gauge them on whether they would be able to look the other way when they saw what their instincts might tell them was abuse. Think of police officers. Many officers today are fully complicit in brutalizing citizens, using tasers in an inappropriate manner and then covering it up afterward, each officer providing cover for the others. And I have known quite a few police officers and they made it quite clear that there is a weeding-out process whereby the police don't want holier-than-thou types who are going to mess with the system they enjoy. It's not that people don't try and become good cops, but that once in, their ability to do good is hampered by those who prefer a different system, one without accountability, one that reinforces their feeling of power. Are there good cops? Sure. Were there good staff members? Yes. Everyone agrees that each program had staff that were "better" than others. But did those staff who were better, speak out? No. And you have to ask why? I think it is because their moral compass was already not functioning too well before they got hired and after being hired the program itself screwed with it even more. Much as we were screwed with. There was so much psychobable going on, and I think it was designed to keep us in line as much as to keep them in line. It was about control and getting people to buy in. And I think staff bought in.
So my argument here, is that yes, some certainly had to know it was abuse and recognized it as such, though they stayed quiet and didn't rock the boat or lose the paycheck. But I also think there are those who are more prone to being bullies, enjoy power, like to exercise it over others and in such a situation, that kind of setting, seeing that there is no accountability, can go way overboard. Which I think is what happened. Did they know what they were doing was abuse? Maybe. But I think some of them, likely the ones who were "Power Staff" really believed like Alex and Sharon seem to, that everything they did was right. And from my experience at Rocky Mountain Academy back in the mid 80's, this was the culture they created for themselves. One where they had their own Gods or Guru's, people they looked up to and then wanted to emulate and become. They fed off each others latest psychobable notions of how to fix kids. They came up with one catch phrase after another to hurl at teens. Basically it was made up as they went along, gradually becoming more and more abusive I think as they refined it, almost working in competition to outdo each other and come up with the killer themes for Raps or Propheets/Life Steps. They wanted to be Top Dog. Not all of them wanted it, but many of them sought the power. The environment they created, based on the strange ideas of Mel Wasserman, the Synanon, LifeSpring and EST cultures and their own limited imaginations was one that reinforced action over accountability. And eventually I think they just saw everything they did as right and proper and good, that they could not commit any wrongdoing because all they did was righteous. So maybe in the beginning, they might have been able to see abuse and be capable of questioning it, but eventually I feel they no longer could.
And then think of the context. These were people telling themselves they were saving kids. They fashioned themselves as heroes. And in doing so, put themselves on a pedestal and patted each other on the backs for the good they believed they were dishing out. And beliefs are a hard thing to discard once you've held them long enough. So Alex may eventually come around to seeing that he was abusing people for years now that he has been told by the State of Oregon that this was the case. I don't think he could ever accept it coming from a former student, because he probably can't accept right now that his power is gone. He held so much power and authority over you and others that he is in denial about the actions he took. And Sharon suggesting that a few bad kids just wanted to lie to get it all shut down so they could go home and do more drugs and party is the same thing. These people were so deep in to a self-reinforcing atmosphere that rewarded them for basically creating greater levels of abuse, coming up with radical, yet totally unfounded methods for dealing with troubled teens. This was what they were used to. They became the guru's with all the answers. Creating it all themselves, just as God created the universe, the Alex's and Sharon's felt they were Gods creating something amazing and powerful and helpful and that's how they saw themselves. I don't think they were capable of seeing themselves in any other way. They truly thought they could do no wrong and that is why they can't accept that they did do wrong. The State of Oregon clearly hasn't convinced them. Or... It is possible they don't want to admit anything because the allegations of abuse could be followed by lawsuits?
And can you imagine what it would feel like to suddenly realize you did abuse hundreds or even thousands of teens? To realize you were a monster? That kids who later committed suicide may have done so because of things you did to them? What would a normal person, capable of self-reflection do upon realizing this?
By the way, before and after Rocky Mountain Academy I worked in a Direct Care Home for Autistic Children. After a few months I saw a fellow staff member physically abuse a child. Actual injury. I called the police and filed a report and lost my job the next day. Of course the child was incapable of speech, so the officers investigating could not understand how to conduct an interview to determine if injury or assault had taken place. But whereas such homes and staff are required by Federal Law to report any suspected abuse, and I did so, reporting it doesn't always work and getting fired is often quite likely. And I don't think it would have been any different at any of these programs, most of which are not covered by Federal Laws and certainly little state oversight.
Also, I would be happy to share my reunion story with you. It was pretty damn cool. And the first time in my life I ever experienced unconditional love.
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