Elan Reporter caught in the ACT

[Free Press Reporter]

Grey ME 8/14/05
from the free press.
" A man posing as a journalist is found at a highway rest stop getting fucked by several transexual males. Only going by title The Elan Reporter, this man was taken away rubber dildo in one hand and ass lube in the other. When asked why as a reporter he would be doing these things, he blamed his childhood lust for a Martin Kruglik. It has been found by this reporter that he has infact admitted to smoking crack and masturbating to pictures of Mr Kruglick. Further investigation shows that this so called elan reporter has tried to smear M Kruglick name and defamate his character. When the Elan Reporter was asked about this he teary eyed addmited to makeing false statements to hopefully force M Kruglik into takeing him back. He even asked that I put in my article that he hopes M Kruglik will forgive him and that he still has his assless chaps in hope of M kruglik's return. It seems to be a gay males lust and disallusion that brought him into the arms of truck stop transsexuals, one he nick named his "assistant." we know what that means. This troubled gay male will probably continue his harassment after his release from county jail, since the gay male seems to only be able to take out his frustrations on being left by M kruglik; on M kruglik.
but sources say he is enjoying his mop wig and being traded for fruit cups too much to leave.
His assistant is quite disapointed since he is no longer on top, or was it bottom. Stay posted to further bulletins on this story."

This and more to come. Lets all hope the best for the troubled elan reporter and hope he is eating all his fruit cups; since he cant survive on jail house protein alone.

[Anonymous]

This and more to come. Lets all hope the best for the troubled elan reporter and hope he is eating all his fruit cups; since he cant survive on jail house protein alone."
[/quote]

 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

[Anonymous]

:wave:  :wave:  :wave:  :wave:  :wave:

[Anonymous]

Isn't it funny how the same person has to post anoymously twice after posting some stupid tasteless post about the great Elan reporter?
At least the Elan reporter doesn't post anoymous responses to make it look like he/she has friends. Sounds like to me that M.Kruglik can't handle the truth.
Whats wrong Marty? you seemed a little shocked that there are actually people on the internet bashing you? Could it be that you were such a prick to kids in Elan and they are getting back at you? :question:  Nah... Not Marty, taping tampons soaked in ketchup to 13 year old heads is quite normal for you isn't it Marty? ISN'T IT? :wstupid:
Thats right Marty, you would have to post anoymous responses to make it look like pople would supoort you. The truth is The Elan reporter might be an idiot for posting over and over again, but at least he/she has supporters that back him/her up?
You are the focus point at this board Marty, it is all coming around to haunt you now Marty. You had your time in the spotlight, now it is time to pay the fiddler. Did you actually think you could get away with what you done without any consquences? Again  :wstupid:
No Marty, you will pay, YOU WILL PAY.You are a sick individual that has no concern for any teenagers welfare. You were abused as a kid and now you take your frustrations out on helpless teens and been doing it for many decades now.
Marty you have alot of angry "Now Adults" at you, you can't avoid this problem.From old schoolers to current,you have people from differnt generations that hate you. I would be very concerned for my welfare if I were you, and thats not a threat BTW, its a reality.
You have done some very bad things to kids in the past, bad things that will stay with these kids that are now adults, they havent forgot about you Marty, and certainly won't forget your face..If you are gonna abuse kids Marty you should've been a little smarter by living off the grid, you didn't think that this would never come back at you did you Martin? :wstupid:
The clock is ticking Martin, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, WHATCHA GONNA DO?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-08-14 23:23:00, Anonymous wrote:

" :wave:  :wave:  :wave:  :wave:  :wave: "

Oh yes thanks for making this spinless idiot's day because he/she has no balls to stand up and tell the elan reporter how he/she feels. Either way your post is so bogus. Love having convo's withourself huh Martin? Go back to your teepee sicko, you are not wanted here unless you have the balls to answer us.

[ShyGirl]

You are the focus point at this board Marty, it is all coming around to haunt you now Marty. You had your time in the spotlight, now it is time to pay the fiddler. Did you actually think you could get away with what you done without any consquences?

These are NOT consequences!!  This is just childish namecalling.

[Elan Reporter's Assistant]

On 2005-08-15 07:07:00, ShyGirl wrote:

"

You are the focus point at this board Marty, it is all coming around to haunt you now Marty. You had your time in the spotlight, now it is time to pay the fiddler. Did you actually think you could get away with what you done without any consquences?

These are NOT consequences!!  This is just childish namecalling.  
"

Sorry, ShyGirl, that's wrong.  It's comedy designed to poke fun at a really nasty SOB named Marty Kruglik.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We have a fun time writing creative chronicles about Tatanka Fucker, but believe us... it's work sometimes.    

Childish namecalling would be calling Marty Kruglik a few curse words and giving it a rest or making up some stupid song.  This, however, is creative maddening prose.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes thanks for making this spinless idiot's day because he/she has no balls to stand up and tell the elan reporter how he/she feels. Either way your post is so bogus. Love having convo's withourself huh Martin? Go back to your teepee sicko, you are not wanted here unless you have the balls to answer us."

what makes you think i am Marty? idiot maybe I just dont like you creeps and your mindless bashing.  Take your medicine assole, you dish it you can also take it like it or not.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the last person that posted and I'm certainly not Marty, HAHAHA, that's so funny that you little morons think that Marty actually think Marty has time to sit around and play these dumb games with you morons. I just agree that Elan reporter and assistant suck. I'm not posting as 2 people. If you guys are in so much denial that a couple different people think you are lame talentless boring assholes then that is just sad. You should check your huge egos. And check your sicko, gay, shit eating, fetish, homo erotic, non sense, and why you are so obsessed with Marty Kruglicks asshole and fucking him and his sex. You guys are the wierdos and the sickos. The truth is that the sick shit that Marty USE to be involved with died in the early 90's. Why wont you let it go away? You are the ones keeping it alive and staying sick. If someone gets better then why are you trying to keep it around? Why not let it go? Why keep the filth in your day to day life?Every one knows what happened. If you want to do something about it take it to court DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Posting dumb shit on fucking FOrnits does absoultly nothing except show the world what a fucking sick perverted bunch of retards you are. I don't think you guys were there for Martys shit anyways cuz the only thing you can say over and over again is the tampon incident. That certainly isn't the only thing that ever happened. You just read that from someone elses post.So don't try to make it like you are doing some good here or trying to expose Marty for what he is. You are just a waste of time and a sicko. You are a little boy obsessed with gay sex. Rent a porno or call a gay sex line. Stop taking up all the fucking room on the elan bored with your selfish thoughts. You are just jealous that Marty didn't give you any attention. Maybe explore the world of being a gay man. This really isn't the place for it. And don't blame Marty for the fact that you are obsessed with male feices and anal sex. It really isn't his fault.Oh yeah and did I mention you are a talentless asshile and that you totally completely fucking suck. Both of you. Yeah. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it. :rofl:  :rofl:

[Chrysta]

<----------and there is my name, and I totally agree!!! Incredibly funny story! The other Marty bashers were getting old and redundant!!

[The Elan Reporter]

[ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2005-10-26 07:05 ]

[Mister Pink]

sounds like an electrical malfuntion. don't worry, from time to time they get a little behind on their maintenance. If not kept properly lubed, elan robots can turn against their masters. Elan Factory Manual (Page 13.4) states: "Many elanbots periodically experience jolts of free thought; this is to be expected. In cases of ex-residents exhibiting such behavior, we recommend a harsh Verbal Reprimand and a dollop of 20W60 high friction lube.  If the problem continues, please bring your elanbot to the nearest dealer (U.S. Residents: #5 Road, Poland, ME - European Union Residents: Stalag 13, Aushwitz GDR) for a fully brainwashing and regular interval servicing."
so you see, theres nothing to really be worried about. Don't be an idiot though, just take the time to read the manual.

[Elan Reporter's Assistant]

Pink, that was great.

 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

[Anonymous]

:wstupid:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :tup:

[Mister Pink]

Some geeks will take offense to that, some always do, but I am a firm believer that proper maintenance, along with constant reinforcement of elanspeak will keep your elan robot running strong years after their graduation date. Heres another little excerpt from Section 13.2: "At times, your elanbot may experience a tendancy to become unstable, causing danger to both you, your elanbot, and staff members. Factory technicians suggest calling 'House in the Dining Room' on a regular basis, at least once in the morning and twice at night, with occasional calls of "Headcounts". Failure to do so will only exacerbate the situation and may lead to expensive damage requiring facotry service and several "CHIEF!!!" calls."