Section Nine pertains to some preventive therapies that, in conjunction with proper lubing, can help keep your elan robot functioning ( :wink: ) much the way they did from the showroom floor.
The last few pages of Section Nine provide a handy FAQ section about some of these therapies.
Section 9-5: Frequently Asked Elan-Robot Questions:
Q: MY ELAN ROBOT SEEMS TO WORKS FINE; I'VE PURCHASED THE 'EXPEDITOR GT' MODEL WITH THE OPTIONAL PROPAGANDA PACKAGE; BUT SOMETIMES WHEN I TAKE IT ON THE FORNITS FORUMS, THERE IS CONSIDERABLE HESITATION - CAN I GET MY PROPAGANDA UNIT UPDATED?
A: Congratulations on your purchase! The Propaganda Package equipped on the Expeditor GT, the Department Head, and the Coordinator GR4 is elan's premiere unit, equipped with several override controls and twin-baffling self-loathing techniques. While your unit is able to defeat any type of free thought - hesitation is to be expected while on the Fornits Forums, due only to the higher velocity of anarchy which can interfere with some of the processors lower functions.
Q: MY ELAN ROBOT HAS STARTED TO CURSE AND STUTTER, WITH CONSTANT MISSPELLINGS AND THE INTELLIGENCE OF A THIRD GRADER, WHAT CAN I DO?
A: Elan Robots are typically purchased for their slavish obedience to the party line; therefore education can be a serious drawback. To prevent unique words, thoughts, and ideas from backing up the main processing unit, all Elan Robots recieved (1) one high school diploma equivelant to a third grade education. The stuttering and cursing are most likely a result of prior programming before pickup at the factory and can be cured with proper lubrication, or encounter groups.
Q: AN ENCOUNTER GROUP? WMY FRIEND TOLD ME TO JUST KEEP TAKING IT FOR GENERAL MEETING AND THEY WILL FIX THAT.
A: No, no, no! General Meetings, or GMs are not intented to be used as curative measures against unwanted behavior, but are used less often, and as a last ditch attempt to reinforce awry programming flaws from the factory. Overuse of a GM to correct minor intelligence deficits will only result in more problems. You've probally also noticed an oily residue accumulating in the cranial area suggesting an overuse of General Meetings. Encounter groups are a far less damaging and much more cost effective solution to your Elan-Robots technical woes. Take it in to be serviced for a few encounter groups, and the cursing and stuttering sensations should begin to fade. While your at it, make sure to lube up your Elanbot for smoother functioning.
