First of all, if she sees a psychiatrist there, if the psychiatrist is at all competent, you should have a diagnosis now. That doesn't mean it's the *right* diagnosis. You should get a second opinion, and you should insist on being able to remove her to drive her to her second opinion, even if you then drive her right back. If they won't let you remove her for needed medical treatment---and a second opinion from a board certified pediatric psychiatrist, even one in another state, counts as needed medical treatment---then you should pull her out of there pronto.
Depriving a child of needed medical treatment is child neglect. If they won't let you take her out to drive her to that and then then immediately return her, then all the stories about how abusive they are have just been proven directly to you and you have every reason to know for sure.
Has it ever occurred to you to think about *why* they try to brainwash the parents not to question them? I, and others, believe that WWASPS is a psychotherapy cult. I don't know whether or not they've got their hooks into your husband or you and he just disagree, but I would use whether you can pull her for a second opinion with a board certified pediatric psychiatrist who is completely unaffiliated with WWASPS as the gold standard touchstone for determining what is going on.
If the second opinion disagrees with the opinion of WWASPS psychiatrist, get a third one. If you still can't get a firm diagnosis, get SPECT done on her (Dr. Amen has a webpage with information about where to get this and what it is). SPECT can *at least* tell you whether you're looking at a kid with a normal brain, a kid with a very *abnormal* brain, or something in between, and even if you still can't get a firm diagnosis, you can at least know based on which parts of the brain are affected (if any) what therapies or medications are most likely to help her.
If your child has been noticeably abnormal since age 2, there is *something* going on. It could be anything from a genetic problem to brain damage from a hard knock on the head---maybe even one you didn't know about.
If it's from a knock on the head, maybe one that happened when she was with a babysitter or something that you just never heard about, it may not fit into the profile of any standard psychiatric disorder and it may be that SPECT may be the *only* way you find out where the damage is (if there is any). I say this because the behavior you're telling me doesn't fit right off with any diagnosis I know about---but it may be that I don't have enough information, and it's sure hard to tell over the internet.
If the second opinion and the WWASPS psychiatrist agree about what's wrong with her, then you just need to decide what the appropriate treatment for that disorder is.
One thing to think about is that the National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH), a federal government organization, recently released a statement that said that for mentally ill children, boot camps or boarding schools that place them right alongside juvenile delinquents are not helpful and are even harmful.
WWASPS accepts juvenile delinquents (no offense, Perrigaud, but it sounds like that's part of what your problems were, based on what you've told us).
If your daughter is mentally ill, you might want to consider NIMH's statements in your decisions about the best place for her.
If I were you, after you get a firm diagnosis, I'd contact NAMI (National Alliance of the Mentally Ill) and get their advice about how to handle the situation.
She may need to be hospitalized, she may not--we don't have enough information about whether she's an active danger to herself or others.
But you need a firm, reliable diagnosis about exactly what's wrong with her before you decide what treatment she needs.
If her symptoms don't fit with a known illness--that is, if board certified pediatricians have trouble categorizing what's wrong with her---then the next thing I'd do is check for brain damage with a SPECT scan.
In my experience, kids with loving parents don't just "go wrong" at age 2 unless there is something seriously biologically wrong.
Timoclea
(I'm *not* an expert, but I have bipolar disorder, I have a bipolar child, and I have a bachelor's degree in Applied Psychology from Georgia Tech. *I'm* not an expert---but I sure know enough to know you *need* experts. Real ones. WWASPS has too much of a financial conflict of interests WRT your child to leave her there without a *competent* second opinion from an unaffiliated board certified pediatric psychiatrist.)
Preacher man don't tell me heaven is under the earth; you don't know what life is worth;.......If you know what life is worth, you will look for your's on earth.
--Bob Marley
