Author Topic: concerned parent  (Read 16337 times)

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Offline Anne Bonney

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concerned parent
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2007, 05:08:35 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Get her one of these.


If you can't afford it, you can use chalk, which is available at many stores including your town general store.

I know it sounds silly, but it worked with me. I was disrespecting teachers, I tried alcohol almost four times, had terrible restless leg syndrome, and ODD.

My parents tried everything, nothing worked. It wasn't until they found out about HopScotch therapy that I started to wean off the downward spiral that could of led to ditching and pot smoking or worse.

Now I am a college level HopScotch player, I got a full scholarship. I am doing very well. I own my own sports car, a small house, I have a beautiful spouse and even two fish! Things are bountiful and well at my house, rest assured of that.

I know it sounds simple, but that's it. All I needed was something to focus on in life. You would be surprised at the different levels of HopScotch these days, it can be very complicated and competitive, they are even thinking of making it an official olympic sport.

The picture I posted is just a beginner setup, but she can use chalk and get a book and draw more advanced courses, and at the same time improve her math and agility skills.

You don't need a program, just get her hopping.



That's a good one.  I've heard this works wonders too.



http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-jokes.html

NEW RECOVERY GROUP
Recover From Twelve-Step Groups

We have a new thirteen-step program to help you recover from the evil influences of too many twelve-step recovery group meetings:

1. Admit that you are powerless over twelve-step meetings -- that your life has become unmanageable. Scream and pass out.

2. Come to believe that only Santa Claus can restore you to sanity.

3. Make a decision to give all of your problems to Santa Claus, as we understand Him.

4. Turn your will and your mind over to the care of Santa Claus. They were worthless anyway. Also stick him with those pesky problems.

5. Make a searching and fearless inventory of your garage. You won't believe the junk you will find in there.

6. Confess to everyone that you can't sing, you can't dance, your butt is too fat, and you have bad breath.

7. Make yourself entirely ready to have Santa Claus fix those defects.

8. Write a letter to Santa Claus, humbly begging him to remove all of your shortcomings.

9. Make a list of all of the people you have pissed off.

10. Go piss them off again.

11. Continue to inventory your garage, and when you find that you are hoarding some really useless junk, promptly admit it.

12. Seek, through your cell phone, to maintain constant contact with Santa Claus, as we understand Him. If you can't get Him, call a psychic hotline. Do whatever the old witch says.

13. Make twenty copies of this letter, put your name at the bottom, and send them to all of your friends.






Seriously, I can't even go near this one.  Stepcraft strikes again.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Anonymous

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concerned parent
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2007, 05:09:50 PM »
What made you think Sue Scheff, PURE might be a good resource? Who told you about her?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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PURE
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2007, 05:12:10 PM »
[I just found the web site . Then I started looking for information on it and found out how bad it is from here
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Covergaard

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Advise
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2007, 05:14:29 PM »
I will to give an advice which is against my cultural background as a Dane living in a country where we have no limit of alcohol consumption and a 16 year limit on purchasing alcohol. Most Dane are introduced to alcohol when they are between 13-15 by their parents as a part of a old tradition (Our Christian confirmation - grade 7. The laws were made to get the youth past the boozing phase before they can drive a car and it works. Very few are killed in alcohol related accidents compare to the number in your country.). I realize that you live in another culture with other laws so here is my advice:

Small classes works - not small schools. Was matters is the time per student. It is costly. We have the most expensive public school in the world and we have a limit of 26 persons per class in our public school.

But that number is too high, when some children are having a problem. A relative of my wife has a daugther who lives at a school some 20 miles from home. She has a cell-phone on her all time, so she can phone her mother and the mother can phone her outside classes. It works. In the class they are only 8-10 students.

The daugther needs that because she can be violent if she encounters stress by being around too many people or the day suddenly becomes non-structured, which is the main reason for some student when they attend our public schools.

If you visit my daughters school, you will find very disrupted and non-structured. It is basicly a lot of noise and no student who will listen if they are not interested in your message. There is a point with that. In the adult workplace you are always interrupted by a phone, email or fellow co-workers. There is no peace. A school should prepare them to that.

Project managers in Denmark are often educated as what we calls chaos pilots. We acknowledge that the world is chaos.

But some people can not take a non-structurel environment until they are prepared. They need structure but if you give it to them for too long, you are doing them a disservice. So you need to balance it for her. Send her to a school nearby where they have small classes for children with special needs. Keep her home outside school if possible. If you think that more treatment is needed, take it with her as I suggested with the family camp.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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thank you
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2007, 05:17:39 PM »
Thank you and I am checking into the family camp
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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concerned parent
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2007, 05:21:48 PM »
Of course the wilderness camp recommended it. They get referral kickbacks.

The family camp is run by Aspen. I think Covergaard is trying to make a dark point here, because he figures you aren't stupid enough to do these things to yourself.

For your daughter's sake, stop with the "we know she's going to end up like ... if we don't intervene" crap. That's bogus and/or self-fulfilling.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline hanzomon4

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concerned parent
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2007, 05:24:18 PM »
Stepcraft...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

Howto]

Offline Anonymous

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concerned parent
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2007, 05:24:27 PM »
This would be a lot easier and streamlined if fornits could create a team of experts and an open FTP folder so these parents can upload their child's medical history and relevant information to the site. The panel of fornits experts can review this material and offer suggestions after they come to a consensus. I have a list of safe places to send children but without talking to you it's hard to make a bullet-proof suggestion. Some people think it's necessary to ask a kid if they think it's necessary but I think most (not all, namely minority children) kids these days have entitlement issues. Lack of action, lacks moral imperative. If you are raped you should become a rape prevention activists. If you are mugged you should become a police officer. This is how things work. Get off your butts and let's do it right now!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #23 on: August 26, 2007, 05:25:02 PM »
[
actually agreed however when the behavior continues it is cause for concern. Actually my husband and I both considered doing one



quote="Guest"]Of course the wilderness camp recommended it. They get

referral kickbacks.

The family camp is run by Aspen. I think Covergaard is trying to make a dark point here, because he figures you aren't stupid enough to do these things to yourself.

For your daughter's sake, stop with the "we know she's going to end up like ... if we don't intervene" crap. That's bogus and/or self-fulfilling.[/quote]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Covergaard

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Referals
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2007, 05:36:13 PM »
It is correct that Aspen refers survivors from the wilderness to their boarding schools. But you do not have to follow their advice. One of the other families from Brat Camp did follow the advice and did send their daughter on to a school but pulled her when she talked about abuse. They had been in the wilderness themselves and had seen what the "counselors" could do, so unlike most parents they believed their daughter.

BTW: I can not find any wilderness program, who would not recommend a school placement after a stay.

Some may not say it directly that is IS needed, but they would say something like: "You may consider....."

Grove school is member at ISPA, but I can not see the wilderness program your daughter attended anywhere, but sometime they have a one-to-one agreement of a little fee, if you take their advice.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2007, 05:40:23 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: Referals
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2007, 05:38:35 PM »
They didn't recommend grove. I found that on my own
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anne Bonney

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« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2007, 06:00:32 PM »
Quote from: ""hanzomon4""
Stepcraft...



I'm telling ya.  They're crazy.


http://wwf.fornits.com/viewtopic.php?t=22939
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
traight, St. Pete, early 80s
AA is a cult http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house.  ~~  Frank Zappa

Offline Covergaard

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21 day stay
« Reply #27 on: August 26, 2007, 06:08:17 PM »
21 days is a very short day. (Most programs want people to stay for 6 or 7 weeks, which is very odd because some companies does 1 and 2 weeks stay for adults claiming that there should be so much difference between an adult and a child that a child needs 5 weeks more.)

I found this article about a mom in the wilderness.

The Call of the Wild: A Wilderness Retreat

She tries to compare her stay with her child, but her stay is so short that it not even is close to the stay of a teenager. It is time measured unlike a normal stay.

As a nation we are heavily criticized because we sentence some people to prison without a time limit. It is claimed to be torture. I understand it. If a person does not know when he or she is free again it must be unbearable. So see to that any stay is time-limited.

Where do they offer a program with only 21 days? I could not locate it on their website.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2007, 06:27:01 PM »
there first phase is 21 days. You can opt to stay for the second one which is 4 more weeks. She wanted to stay for the second part but didn't want to miss part of HS so we brought her home
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2007, 06:31:12 PM »
The 21 day wilderness crap didn't solve the problem.

What the fuck, exactly, makes you think more of the same crap will help? Of course they're going to say that they can fix your kid. They'll say anything they want as long as it gets them your money and your daughter. You've followed the links. You've read the horror stories. Why in the hell would you still be considering anything in this general area?

This whole mindset of forced-therapy, 'working the program', and overall piss-poor mental manipulation IS A CAUSE OF worse behavior, alcoholism, and drug abuse. The more you try to force in, especially if you're trying to make it not look like you're trying to force in, the MORE LIKELY it becomes that she's going to get worse.

Stop. Quit focusing on 'her behavior' like that means anything at all. Quit trying to parent her so goddamn much because it obviously isn't working. Step the hell back- WAY back- before she really goes nuts.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »