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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

From an invitation I received. I thought this was relevant to the "troubled teen industry." Anyone familiar with the work of Dr. Males?

Auntie Em
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE PANIC OVER GIRLS
27th Konopka Lectureship
Mike Males, PhD
February 11, 2009 • 10:00 AM
Neighborhood House at the Wellstone Center
179 Robie Street East – St Paul, Minnesota
Free and open to the public

Why the panic over American girls?
In the last yar headlines have decried pregnancy pacts, extreme bullying and startling STD rates. Best selling book titles document girls who have either hooked up or are becoming unhooked. These widespread media messages  ultimately frame modern American girls and young women as more troubled, mean, violent, narcissistic, materialistic, and otherwise disturbed than ever before.

For the 27th Konopka Lecture, Mike Males will challenge these media myths and show how today's generation of young women and girls are succeeding in their education and careers; are remarkably happy, well connected to others,
optimistic; are civically engaged and eager to become leaders.

Mike Males, Ph.D
Mike Males serves as senior researcher for the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice. He taught sociology at the University of California, Santa Cruz for five years, is a columnist for Youth Today and has published articles in The
Lancet, American Journal of Public Health, Journal of School Health, Los Angeles Times, and the New York Times, among others. Mr. Males is the author of four books on American youth – Framing Youth: Ten Myths
about the Next Generation; The Scapegoat Generation: America’s War on Adolescents; Kids & Guns: How Politicians, Experts, and the Press Fabricate Fear of Youth; and Smoked: Why Joe Camel Is Still Smiling. Learn more about Mike Males and his work at http://www.YouthFacts.org

The Konopka Institute
With an unshakeable belief in the potential of all young people, the Konopka Institute for Best Practices in Adolescent Health sustains the legacy of Gisela Konopka in striving to improve the health and well being of adolescents by
providing technical assistance and training for those working in partnership with and on behalf of young people.
To learn more about the Konopka Institute, visit our website at http://www.konopka.umn.edu

This topic (below) was introduced on another thread by DGSe, and I know this is something I still do not fully understand. Put another way (from DSD, modified): What is the psychology of the parents that make programs possible?

Comments? (Please forgive cross-postings; I was encouraged to post this in more than one forum.)
 
Auntie Em


Quote from DGSe/ohhellheah:

DIFFERENT TYPES OF PROGRAM PARENTS:

TRICKED-- parents whose kids go to a program voluntarily. Entire family involved thinks they are going to some treatment center/school. When their kids say they are being mistreated they respond responsibly. They notice and respond to obvious warning signs

ex: "erica's mom"

INADEQUATE-- parent is mentally ill, or incompetent.
ex: lulu Corter's mom

ABANDONER-- parent wants to rid themselves of burden. They are often Adoptive or steparents

ABUSE/CONTROLLER-- Parents want kid to be punished//suffer be humbled. They want control of their kid in a ver unhealthy way

ex: paul richard's parents

CULT member-- these parents start off as any of the hitherto mentioned type, and get sucked in/brainwashed. They live their lives for the cult. They donate huge amounts of money and time to the cult. They are not simply "brainwashed" in the sense they are mis led or tricked. They live on campus, spend a lot of time in meetings.
ex Ginger's parents

Have any of you been successful at getting your records from a program?

Does a person have a legal right to one's records, do you know? I know in a medical or psychiatric facility, this is true, but not sure about private "schools" and "quackademys."

Auntie Em

I have heard/read than many programs direct the parents not to let the teen return to the home.

*Does this apply only to those teens leaving programs after they are 18?

*What is the rationale the programs give for this? I mean, aren't the parents supposed to be getting back their new and improved Stepford Child?

*I gather all programs tell the parents this in the event the child runs away--that they should turn the child in and have them escorted/manhandled back to the program.

*Did you live at home after leaving the program? If so, was that what the program told your parents to do?

Thanks in advance.

AuntieEm

Good post, Liam, thanks.

Auntie Em

AuntieEm2 wrote:

I have made contact with several really, really sharp adolescent mental health doctors and therapists, though I am trying to find someone with experience with cults.

alia wrote:

i would honestly be less concerned with finding someone sharp, and more concerned with someone very warm. someone kind. tenderness is very important because it is the most lacking thing in these environments.

Yes, poor choice of words on my part, I agree warmth, tenderness, patience, kindness, understanding, and healing are all needed.

I found those characteristics in these two therapists (I talked with at least half a dozen). By "sharp" I mean other stuff like they are knowledgeable about dysfunctional family dynamics, they understand the traumatic nature of the programs, they approach teen behavior issues with a completely open lens (including looking at the family as a whole, exploring possibilities like exposure to toxins or whether medications are the issue, etc.), they don't see things in black and white, and they would be advocates for my niece's needs alone--not mine, not her parents', only hers.  

You know, all these respected experts I've talked to agree: the therapeutic boarding school programs do not comport with any professional standard of care that is taught or practiced in the U.S.

alia wrote:

imagine being raped daily for 2 and a half years by a family friend and then suddenly returned home where no one knows anything about it and trust the family friend far more than they trust you.

Yikes, scary but helpful analogy. My situation is chicken feed by comparision, but I, too, feel that many of my family members choose to trust the secretive and manipulative parents rather than (loyal and trustworthy) me, when I am doing detailed research and offering mountains of credible documentation. I know how much that hurts me, and my niece's experience must be a hundred times as hurtful.
 
alia wrote:

so she is going to need a lot of patience and expressions of her worth. she will be completely convinced of her worthlessness, and be actively projecting that worthlessness onto you regularly, and my become enraged, and expose your deepest secrets, the ones you are in denial about, we all have them, and she will sniff them out and shove your face in them because she beleives thats the right thing to do.

Yes, not sure what I will be getting myself into, but I love her.

alia wrote:

and unfortunately dont expect her to want any sort of counseling.

I'm prepared to accept that she may reject me and the friendship I want to give her; she may not be interested in any advice or help from anyone.  

You suggest going there, and you offer to go with if you could  because "the most healing thing she could experience is a clear condemnation of what they are doing." I'm working on it. I really am wrestling with what comes next.  

Thanks, Alia.

Auntie Em

Were any of you sent from a program to one of what I have heard referred to as "finishing schools"? Post-program programs for 18-24 year olds.

What were the circumstances and how long was your stay? Same highly isolated environment?

This from Innercept in Idaho:

We have been involved with North Idaho Behavioral Health (NIBH) over the past ten years. In that time, we have seen many students who are ready to leave the highly structured environment at NIBH, yet are at risk of having the progress they worked so hard to gain jeopardized by a return to a larger campus setting.

Innercept is run by Dr. George Ullrich (sorry if any of you just lost your lunch).

Auntie Em