Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

Memories of being clean and sober

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JaLong:
Ginger,
You never cease to amaze me. I'm just glad I don't take things personally. As a matter of fact dear Ginger, I know Jimmy. Known him since he was a kid. OOPS, your bad. I still can't fathom how negative you are. Everyone has an opinion on something, and no one is neither right or wrong. I spoke from my heart. Try it sometime.
Julie

JaLong:
Landyh,
I was told by a counslor that I was an alcholic, a drug addict, and a sex addict(yeah right). Anyhow I did question that because I was drinking on a daily basis with my youngest daughters father. So into the room of AA I walked. I joined a group of women only. I felt very loved and welcomed there from the first day. The values and goals I saw in these women was something I wanted.I soaked things up like a sponge. After 2 wks I chose a sponsor, and from the beginning she kept asking me, " are you sure you are an alcholic"? Well being at a very low point in my life right then, I thought I was. As the years went on she kept asking me the same thing. Then I moved to Gulfport, and joined a group on the beach. There I saw so much bull. Gossiping, 13 stepping, others hooked on gambling, stealing money for their own selfish reasons, and I blew out of there. I tried a beer many months later, and didn't have another one for 2 months. I have a drink on occasion, yet I can take it or leave it. So, do you understand why I am not an alcholic? Thank God!. In the program I did learn a lot about who I was, and what I wanted for my life. I just felt so much negativity in some of the rooms. It just wasn't for me. Lyndyh, as I said before, I still have all my tools in my tool box that I use. Being in the program definatly brought me back to a very close relationship with my Creator. I have that peace that surpases all understanding, and any trials or issues I go through I grow from. I have an addictive personallity, that I know for sure.So I stay away from people, places, and things that bring any kind of negativity into my life. I do have choices, and I use them wisely.
Take care, Julie

Antigen:

--- Quote ---On 2005-11-29 17:18:00, landyh wrote:


 I don't even remember what got me back into drugs and alcohol but I also know that if my first experience at the seed did anything it made me unable to socially do anything with mind altering substances without feeling a failure.
--- End quote ---


Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
--Annie Dillard, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek"

I've never noticed that enhancement of the senses that Program people talk about w/ sobriety. And I have been stone cold clean and sober for months or years at a stretch, except for my morning coffee. What I have noticed is that enhancement and vividness from getting away from the constant low level hum and whirr of the city (or during Florida Plunder and Loot's yearly or more day or two hiatus).

But I've found that MJ or very mild psilocybins, when used occasionally, can open your senses in a most pleasurable and therapeutic way. Best thing in the world for getting a short break from unavoidable stress when you can't get away long enough to leave civilization. I'm quite keen on finding out about MDMA, too, once we're over the political histrionics about it and we can access pure, reliable sources of known dose. I'll be 90 by then, of course. But it's something to look forward to.

I've also heard good things about Ibogain. Nobody who's tried it has ever told me that it's pleasurable or recreational or that they'd want to make a habit of it. But every last one says it was worth the unpleasantness and that, if their reason for taking the trip was to get a handle on an opiate or niccotine addiction, it helped in that regard.

I'm just glad I never bought into that dire guilt tripping and gloom and doom mythology over the use of certain drugs.
In all history, there is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare. Only one who knows the disastrous effects of a long war can realize the supreme importance of rapidity in bringing it to a close. It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war who can thoroughly understand the profitable way of carrying it on.
--Sun Tzu (author of The Art of War
--- End quote ---


_________________
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82

JaLong:
Sorry Anonymous, but you just came out of left field not understanding the feelings and thoughts we are sharing. I live a very happy and proporous life, and I'm not talking financially. If we can't share how we feel here with someone who has been in our own shoes, what's the point of this site. No one is dwelling on the past, we are sharing positive things here. Things that have helped us to grow as individulas. So what is so wrong with that. Judge not, yet you will be judged. I came from a very dysfunctional familiy, yet all members of my family have grown up and we are a very close family and have been for many years. It all boils down to letting go of the past, forgiving, and letting everyone just be whom they are. I am in no program, and haven't been for years. I also was not "addicted" to any drug or alcohol, except cigarettes which is demon all by itself. I am still fighting to quit. Have a fantasic day.Comments like yours is why you don't see me post very often. It is uncalled for and very disrespectful. [ This Message was edited by: JaLong on 2005-11-30 09:09 ][ This Message was edited by: JaLong on 2005-11-30 09:11 ]

Antigen:

--- Quote ---On 2005-11-30 08:26:00, JaLong wrote:

"Ginger,

You never cease to amaze me. I'm just glad I don't take things personally. As a matter of fact dear Ginger, I know Jimmy. Known him since he was a kid. OOPS, your bad. I still can't fathom how negative you are. Everyone has an opinion on something, and no one is neither right or wrong. I spoke from my heart. Try it sometime.

Julie  "

--- End quote ---


Funny that your heart speaks from the same script as all other devout practitioners of stepcraft. Sorry if it bugs you, JLong, but I paint's what I sees. And I see that you evidently didn't notice that your dear friend was talking about something that happened almost a year ago. Frankly, I'd worry some. It's not uncommon for ppl to have a serious crisis right after returning to stepcraft. Have you heard from the guy lately?
Marijuana clearly has medicinal value.
 Thousands of seriously ill Americans have
 been able to determine that for themselves,
 albeit illegally. Like my own family, these
 individuals did not wish to break the law but
 they had no choice.
 

--Lyn Nofziger, former deputy chairman of the Republican National Committee
--- End quote ---

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