Auntie Em here, having difficulty logging at the moment.
I'm afraid I may rant today. Buckle up.
First, I am so sorry you are faced with all these worries. I can tell you have been talking to people and researching facilities, and trying your best to do what is right for your daughter. I would be afraid for her, too. But please don't let your fears get the better of you; therapeutic boarding schools are for-profit entities that have a vested financial interest in exploiting your fears, in promising a cure-all for life's complicated and difficult passages.
You must find an alternative to a TBS, please, please, please. These facilities are not what they present themselves to be. They are not licensed to provide mental health care. They are licensed as
boarding schools. The licensure covers things like fire escape plans, food safety, and having a written educational plan "on file" for each student. You can look it up on line for the state where the school is located. Here, for example, are the regulations for Idaho:
http://http://adm.idaho.gov/adminrules/rules/idapa16/0602.pdf. Nothing in the regs about quality of outcomes, not for mental health, not for academics.
Is there a relative in another area, away from the boyfriend, who could provide your daughter with a place to live? Please look to your own community for home-based solutions. The most effective therapy for troubled teens follows the Systems of Care model, an approach that integrates family, school, therapy, medical care, juvenile justice (where applicable), faith community, athletics, etc. The goal is to INCREASE the particiation of caring adults in the child's life--adults who know her and love her, adults who will work together to help her--as well as other responsible youth. Please ask your family and friends openly, candidly, and specifically for help. If my niece's parents had told any of us that they needed help, we would have provided it. While they were considering sending her thousands of miles away for 2 1/2 years of isolation, and planning to trick her into going, to take her there against her will,
we knew nothing except that she was having major difficulty at school. We never had the opportunity to help. We
love her, we
miss her, we would gladly have taken her into our home, risks and all.
Please don't take her away from the sane, loving people in her world, people like you.
Don't take her away from pets, and prom, and bad movies, and car trouble, and trashy paperbacks, and hours on the phone, and fast food, and yard work, and bike riding, and pop music, and newspapers, and running with scissors. These are all the wonderful, dangerous, confusing, inspiring things that make life full. A TBS will take normal life away from her. It will not only take her away from people she loves, it will take her away from people
who love her. Be the Wonder Woman of your moniker: bravely stand by her.
And the money involved! $83,000 a year! Tuition at
Harvard is $40,000. You should realize intuitively that at this price the schools are motivated to recruit you and keep you paying.
Therapy is not time served.I agree with Castle.
Ask your daughter. Give her options. Give her the power to choose. Give her a voice in her own life. Honor her with your trust.
And I agree with shanlea and cedu91to93. Connect her to resources for battered women.
Dang, I really did rant, and I don't begin to know you well enough to say all this. I sympathize with how concerned you are, but I know how much of an easy mark that makes you for these schools, and the educational consultants who are paid commissions to refer student there (and parents who often receive a reduction in tuition for referrals).
Auntie Em
P.S. Are you aware that CEDU has its roots in a the Synanon cult? Feel free to Google Synanon, cult leader Charles E. "Chuck" Dederich Sr., or Synanon disciple and school founder Mel Wasserman--you will see this confirmed. I also highly recommend you look at the list of Warning Signs and Facilities Watch Lists on the ISAC site
http://http://www.isaccorp.org/watchlist.asp.