I like how you use that term "drug dependent" in reference to a someone you read about in the paper. As if you are fully informed as to anything about the kid or what he is other than the newspaper saying he was high. I recall being high several times, and I was never dependent.
Look, I hope that changes are being made, I hope your family is getting better, I hope that more avenues for kids to get help who are TRULY drug dependent, open up. I am just saying watch out. The genetic makeup of the program your child is in came from a dark, abusive, horrific background....just as its intended purpose was based on a helpful and noble idea to help people get past their addictions. That is real, that is the truth, and you should take into consideration the fact that a program with a history such as these have are going to have to come a long way to eliminate the legacy they have made. Your child is allowed to do things in Pathway that I never was, I admit this, and its good. However, I was never one for being up in arms about whether or not someone wacthed me urinate or take a shower....girls do that sort of thing normally anyway. I DO however, take greater offense to the mental abuse, the verbal degredation during "therapy", the attempts to force my mind into a mode of thinking that was unnatural and not useful in the outside world. See, I was being "treated" by other kids...kids who were just like me. Kids with resentment and hate and fear and jealousy. The only staff member above a Straight Graduate staffer that I ever held a conversation with ws the Executive who did my intake. How can children truly get the right kind of care in these circumstances? You know why Pathway is so cheap? Because they dont have to pay therapists, they recruit the graduates. Not one single solitary staff memember who led the raps we were in even had a degree. What makes them qualified to treat me? The fact that they were forced into Straight and learned how to survive it? Thats just not a situation I would put my kid in. If their life is on the line, I am gonna hock the house and get food stamps. Not shop for the cheapest way out. My kid is worth it.
On the subject of drug addiction, I was thinking about this thread the other night and I posed a serious question to myself. What are the possibilities of a child going through a very heavy period of drug use and bad behaviour, and then coming out just fine as adults? Adults that drink occasionally, smoke, whatever, and are just fine? That happened to me, why shouldnt it be a common occurence? My period of drug use was AFTER the program by the way, in case you wonder. When you grow up, your perspective changes, your knowledge grows and your vulnerability presents itself....you look at the world differently. How can it be healthy to keep applying these harsh rules that govern your "sober" life if you are very simply grown up and not in need of such ideals?
I was sixteen years old and told if I ever drank again I was useless, going to ruin my life and myself, because I was an alcoholic. To be perfectly honest, I dont think kids know how to be alcoholics and drug addicts. Not the way adults do. I think the emotional circumstances are a million miles apart. Parents need to stop calling their kids harcore drug addicts becasue they smoke pot with their buddies or get drunk at a party. WE ALL DID THIS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG....didnt you? Are you a drug addict? You rebelled against your family, lied, cheated, stole...to some degree I bet. What makes you any different? I have done things that are so bad my kids probably wont ever do them at their worst...and I STILL am not an addict. You have to take control of your kids, even if it means giving up your liberties as a parent. Sell your house, move away, and above all, be honest about what it is you are not giving your child emotionally. Can you imagine what it might be like if you told your kid that smoking pot was bad, but if he was going to do it, he had best do it at home, or at least know that he could call you if he needed to if he was in trouble? I know its radical, but what do we as human beings love more than anything....FORBIDDEN FRUIT. I bet you he would get in half as much trouble if he knew it wouldnt piss you off.
I want my son to be able to tell me what he has done, without shame, because he is gonna do it anyway...and the more I distance myself and make myself a friggin saint and refuse to acknowledge that he is doing this stuff...the more he is going to draw away, and within his own self. If he gets in trouble, he needs to trust me that i can help him....and there is a solution. TRUST is priceless and its what is missing so much form these situations.