as I think I mentioned I was 16 when I was at cross creek. I didn't have a drug,alcohol, or abuse problem like a lot of people there. I had run away from home because of some differences between my folks and I. They sent me there because they felt I needed to be in a secure place.
Here's some of what I can recall:
At first I went to Brightway. It was demoralizing, to say the least. I felt like I was in jail and knew that I wouldn't move up and out until I "came to terms with my issues." Once I did and said I knew I needed to make changes they sent me to CCM. It was the scariest place I had ever been. I moved right on into the basement and was determined not to make waves. I was the quiet kid who didn't cause trouble or do anything wrong. Girls walked around like zombies. My roomates warned me about specifc girls to avoid. My second night there a fight broke out in the hallway and I saw one of the girls I had been warned about getting restrained for the first time. I was terrified. I started noticing that almost everyone used the same kind of speach (ie:"my experience of you is______," etc.) It seemed like everyone was programmed. Some of the girls were nice, I made a few friends, and thought I was learning how to navigate my way through. Then one night -- in the middle of the night -- staff came into my room with a flashlight, woke my up by sticking it in my face, roughly pulled me off of the top bunk, put my wrists in a lock (which was not necesary since I never resisted or would have had they just asked me to get up). I was horrified and confused being woken up this way. I kept asking what was happening and no one would answer me except to make snide remarks like, "you know damn well," et al. I was taken down the hall to the isolation rooms. I was left in there all night with no blankets -- just the mattress on the floor and the lights on. The next day I was moved down to the rec center and put in a room alone all day. Finally I was told what was happening . . .
some girls had told staff that I had "run plans," which was ridiculous, because I was smat enough to know there was no way out and knew that if I cooperated my parents would let me come home.I was told to write a minimum of 5,000 words on why I would not run. I did it all in one sitting. Staff belived that I didn't have plans to run and after another two nights in isolation I was let out.
Girls would often "nark off" other girls in order to curry favor with staff, even making things up to look better. It was frightening because you never knew what might happen.
Later I was back in the good graces of the staff and was going to be moved upstairs. I returned home from the rec center that night to be dragged into iso. again. This time I had no idea why. It turns out that Glenn Roach went into my room to take my stuff upstairs and found gym shoes in my bag of unused clothing. Her husband Steve yelled at me, called me a cheat and a liar, etc. I had no idea the shoes were there -- when I came in from Brightway they missed them when they went through my stuff and now I was again being acused of having shoes because I planned to run. Finally I was able to get out of iso., explain myself, my parents were called, etc. Then I was moved upstairs.
Things were better there -- but memories include being pushed and poked in the chest on three ocassions by staff.
Mainly I remember witnessing bad things happening to other girls left and right. The mentality that you had to adopt and verbiage that you were required to speak in bordered on cult-like. Guilt was prevalent and interwoven throughout therapy, group time, and daily activity in general.
School was a joke -- you sat there all afternoon doing modules out of work books with the radio on some easy listening St.George radio station. There was nothing that was simillar to a real classroom setting.
Over all my personal experineces there weren't as awful as some and there were some nice girls and staff, but it isn't what they present to parents, kids are abused physically and verbally, their rights are taken away, and you're made to feel very badly.
I could go on in more detail, but this post is already pretty long for now.
Thanks for reading. Let me know if you have any questions or would like to know more.
Also, keep in mind this was back in 1994 and I have not been there since then.
Best,
Michelle.
