I was sent to Cross Creek Manor in December of 2004(the 22nd to be exact.) This place was awful. I'm not going to say that the living conditions were horrible, because they weren't. It was the mental abuse. I have always been rather independent and from the moment I got there I knew it wasn't for me. After I had been there for a month I had finally succumbed to the fact that I wasn't going to work the program,( and I had 2½ years until I would be 18.) It was January and I hadn't spoke or seen my parents in 1 month. I got one of the first few letters from my father. My older sister had passed away and they had her funeral the day I arrived in LaVerkin, UT.
From this point on I was lost. The director, Ron Garrett, was constantly picking your mind, calling you horrible things, slut, whore ext. Every wonderful expierence I have ever hadI was told was "not-working", from even the most innocent ones like canoeing with my father, or hunting etc. Garrett would ask you questions, and you had to be honest, because if you lie he'll put you on staff budy, however I was also put on staff budy Many times for giving an answer that he didn't like.
now if you wonder waht "staff budy" is let me explain:
no hairties, talking, eye contact, pen, pencils, books, shoe laces, only 1 thin sweatshirt(and it gets quite cold in Utah, especially coming from FL), 5 minutes to undress, shower, wash your hai and body, get dressed brush your teeth, with the bathroom door open. This brings in the humiliation aspect of it. you couldn't blow your nose, scrath your head,face or anywhere with out prior permission. you went to the bathroom with 5 girls at a time, usually about 4 times a day, or as soon as the staff felt like taking you. leaving the door unlocked,with you feet on your hands, once you moved your hands you had 10 seconds to be out of the stall. and when you weren't in school, you were in the punishment room: "worksheets" in this room you would sit for about 10-13 hours per day. the only thing you did in this room is listen to tapes about authors, inventors,artists etc, along with the tapes were questionarres. no breaks, no talking, no human contact. aat one point Ron Garrett kept me on this punishment for 3½ weeks, during which I was restrained by 2 staff members for asking a question. I weigh about 120 they together about 400. My hardest point was when Ron and I had a fight, he drug me into the bathroom and I was forced to look into the mirror and ask to repeat these words: I am a mean, nasty girl, and I deserve every pain I have gotten. Shortly after this my parents came and took me home. I spent 10 months and 6 days in hell.
IF YOU ARE A PARENT READING THIS AND CONDSIDERING SENDING YOUR CHILD AWAY. DON'T!!! I AM 18 YEARS OLD NOW, AND I WAKE UP CRYING 4 TIMES A WEEK FROM NIGHTMARES. I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN MY PARENTS, BECAUSE UNLESS YOU LIVE EVERYDAY IN A PLACE LIKE THAT NOT KNOWING WHEN YOU WILL SEE HOME AGAIN YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND. THINK ABOUT, THEY PROMISE YOU A BETTER CHILD, BUT I WAS NEVER ALLOWED ANY EXPERIENCES, OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WANTED YOU TO EEXPERIENCE. THAT IS BRAIN WAHSING. TALK TO YOUR KIDS. MY ENTIRE FUTURE WAS AFFECTED. WHEN I WAS SENT AWAY I HAD A 3.8 GPA. THE CLASSES THEY OFFERD THERE HAD NO AP CREDIT AND MY GRADUATING GPA WAS A 2.4. DONT DO IT. PLEASE IT'S NOT WORTH WHAT ME AND YOUR KIDS WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
