Help me, ----------, you're my only hope.

[4Reagan2Youth0]

A few months back I played a show in Phoenix with Crapple..  Lisa brought a friend and they came out to see us..And though she had to work in the morning she stayed for the whole thing and a little after..

For the rest of the night, morning, afternoon and evening I partied with the Fed-Ups and others.  Later that night at Jugheads things got weird.. I called Lisa and she went up there.  I didn't know which way up or which way was down, but a few more drinks and I found the ground. hahaha

Though Lisa had to work early in the morning, she managed to get my bass players cell number, find out where I was suppose to be and she got me there safely..

I was passed out though out this.. She could have molested me (which I know she wanted to) but didn't (that I know of anyway).  I had some important stuff in my back pack..  She made sure it was safe with me and nothing was missing. Thanks Lisa!

Lisas not a hater and in all honesty she seems too busy with life to plot games and junk..

[CITIBANK]

Sorry, but it seems to me that Beth is choosing to see spiders on the walls in the hopes that she might miss the elephant in the room.

Speaking of someone unfavorably or out of context is a completely normal and natural occurance amoungst friends, family and aquaintances.  If I had a nickel for every time someone I thought I could trust bit me in the ass....Id have enough to buy a prosthetic ass.

I dont see someone looking for answers, I see someone creating new questions...and in desperation at that.  No one wins here, because winning is a resolution, and this sort of action isnt about resolution.

I suggest not giving any reasons to let the fire get higher.

Post your address so I can mail you a check for the analysis, Carmel. Usually I don't read your posts, but I did read this one, and I wouldn't feel right not paying.

It's about time!!  Everyone's been telling you for a while now to get some help.  Hey, if Carmel does it for you, GREAT!  Maybe we can all chip in as it looks like you'll be in therapy for quite a while to come and her bills may get a bit overwhelming for you.

Yes, great, everyone start sending Carmel money.

yes,  and Carmel wants her checks made out to Crapple and sent to:

Crapple
PO Box 1932
Las Cruces, NM
88004

Thank You
for using Dr. Carmel to cure your ailments

[RTP2003]

It's hard to communicate with somebody when he thinks you're a diabolical mind-control agent and you're convinced that he's a little bit paranoid. --R.A. Wilson

I cross posted this, 'cause I think it's relevant.

I don't buy into the gangstalking hypothesis, it smells like "recovered memories" or other jive like that.  Something like that wouldn't work, you'd need too many people to pull it off, and for what?  I don't buy it.  I think if you are paranoid, and trust no one, then start looking for clues--you WILL find evidence, however flimsy and circumstancial, to back up your fears.  "What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves" or so says some drug-crazed weirdo hell bent fucking things up.  Paranoia can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you let it.  Maybe you should try "metanoia" instead--start believing that the unviverse, and everyone in it, are conspiring For you instead of Against you, that there is a vast network out there somewhere thast does what it can to help you survive and achieve your goals.  Try it for a couple of months and let me know what the results are.  Not in a cheesy, "power of positive" thinking way, or some goofy solipsism, put as much effort into finding evidence of this "beneficial conspiracy" as you have been putting into uncovering the malevolent one.  Really do that for a couple of months and tell me how it went.

Miller Newton is conspiring for you and me?

No, just for you.  He pretty much hates me, and hasn't thanked me for letting his followers know what a child-abusing sack of shit he is when I disrupted a service at his "church".

[Carmel]

Sorry, but it seems to me that Beth is choosing to see spiders on the walls in the hopes that she might miss the elephant in the room.

Speaking of someone unfavorably or out of context is a completely normal and natural occurance amoungst friends, family and aquaintances.  If I had a nickel for every time someone I thought I could trust bit me in the ass....Id have enough to buy a prosthetic ass.

I dont see someone looking for answers, I see someone creating new questions...and in desperation at that.  No one wins here, because winning is a resolution, and this sort of action isnt about resolution.

I suggest not giving any reasons to let the fire get higher.

Post your address so I can mail you a check for the analysis, Carmel. Usually I don't read your posts, but I did read this one, and I wouldn't feel right not paying.

LOL...hey man, my bullshit is 100% free of charge.  I guess I sometimes forget that hateful insults seem to get better play around here than anything else.  Next time ill make sure to say something purely reactionary and cruel, then Ill watch the pennies REALLY roll in!  Oh wait, here...Ill start...FUCK ME, STUPID CUNT....can you guys pick it up from there?

I also consent to sending any "love gifts" to Crapple.

[Antigen]

Man! I'm sorry if this fucks w/ you. Not my intent at all.

Lesson learned: trust your ears when they hear the hiss. Sssssssssssssssssss. Sssssnake comessss up and sssspeakssss to meee, she sssaaaysss to sssseeee. But I did look upon that book and read the crooked lines. Bewitched, I switched the dreaming to something seeming, nothing true. My heart was blue. But one or two did come along and sing to me a song. I melted then, and then I flew to meet my flock. I sought the rock, I tore the veil, all hail did pound the earth. Where there was mirth, new birth, the rest was flood, an ocean rose, a saline sea. This is love for you and me: a pot to clean your nose, a pinch between your toes, a rub on the head, a tuck into bed. In days to come our grandparents will tell us these same stories.

I have some idea what you're talking about, but I'm sure I don't understand all of it. I just had to stop for a minute and repost the above cause it's some really good prose, that's all. I'm gonna finish reading now. Don't mind me...

[Antigen]

Just because we went through  a common experience does NOT mean that we all have some secret, special bond with each other.  Yuk!  I am so sick of hearing that.  And I certainly don't consider myself "one" with this "group".  Lay off the kool aid dude.

No, but you start out talking about a common interest, any common ground will do, could be football or local civics or just about anything. And one conversation leads to another until we come to know each other so that we're not really total strangers, or even relative strangers at all.

Have you thought of taking a job at a no-kill animal shelter? I think those dogs need you and each other as much as you need them and that might solve a couple of your most pressing problems right now.

[starry-eyed pirate]

Hi Flygirl.  It's good to read you. pm me sometime, huh ??

The thing about all this is...that when you look into another survivors eyes and you can recognize their exact form of suffering and desperation and you see the sickness and recognize the illness better than any doctor or shrink or anyone besides a healing survivor could, what do you do ?  What do you do when you know that you have the medicine someone needs, and yet you have to be very careful not to look into the eyes of the sick for too long or too deeply lest your disease return for you as well.  What do you do then ?  

There was a time when I had lost all my reference points...I was completely lost.  I had to leave everything.  I had to get way out on the edge of society.  That is where I began my recovery from $tr8 and the ensuing nervous breakdown.  I did it by myself.  I got rid of all but a very few possessions and I traveled around the country, hitchhikin and exploring my consciousness.  It took years to come to some understanding.  Thoreau says lose the world and you will find yourself.  I say when you find yourself you will recognize the illusion of the world and it will naturally fall away.  

The mighty God is a livin man.  

I think that we do have some responsibility to each other, not because we were all in $tr8 but because we all have a similar disease and none but ourselves can heal each other.  Those poor kids have nowhere to go.  No one to help them.  It's on us.

Having said that, I find it next to impossible to have mentally unstable folks staying in my house.  You can't trust them, can't leave them alone.  Don't know what they might do, how they might misdirect their anger...etc...It can be pretty tricky and quite stressful

I think I've done a fairly good job of healin myself, but the disease; that part of me which is still in pieces, remains with me.  I am still vulnerable to minor recurrences and strange mental breakdowns.  I feel like I have some understanding.  It is a dangerous healing.  Searchlight casting...

[Anonymous]

Todd you have not healed, you're a fat, violent drunk. I have never, ever been treated like that by a man, I have never so immediately feared for my life from someone using their weight and physical might against me. You said you wanted to kill me, you chased me in a rage, grabbed me, pushed me down, and raged in my face. All that at 4:30 in the morning because I turned off the music and the lights without your permission after I spent hours doing your dishes and cleaning your kitchen to help out someone I considered a friend. You're just lucky I didn't call the cops on you, I'm sure you have some record there. How dare you get on this thread and say anything.

[starry-eyed pirate]

I'm sorry.  I haven't helped you and I don't think I can.

[Anne Bonney]

Hi Flygirl.  It's good to read you. pm me sometime, huh ??

So is Flygirl, Beth?

[flygirl]

deleted

[starry-eyed pirate]

Hi Flygirl.  It's good to read you. pm me sometime, huh ??

So is Flygirl, Beth?

No. Flygirl is one of the most sane people around.   Then again, I'm one ta judge...

[flygirl]

Hi Flygirl.  It's good to read you. pm me sometime, huh ??

So is Flygirl, Beth?

No. Flygirl is one of the most sane people around.   Then again, I'm one ta judge...

[starry-eyed pirate]

you have my comliments, in so many ways.

[85 Day Jerk]

Sorry for the bad experience Pirate, I heard about it over the phone before she graced me with her presence.  All this time I thought it was Patriot that she had the altercation with.  I guess if I had not put up with her nonsense for so long over the phone,  I would have had a much shorter fuse to tolerate her bullshit.  Thinking back on it, if it were not for the wonders of cheap cellular communication, I'dd have hung up on her ass long ago and been done with it.

All I knew was that she was heading for Asheville North Carolina and if there was anyone there that I knew personally, I most surely would have given them ample warning!  Sad to say, I am just waiting on the sidelines to hear about either a bad crash involving a Toyota Van, or the arrest of a deranged woman in a Coffee Shop/Bookstore/Health Food Outlet.  I wash my hands of it, and I'm not even Roman.