Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Benchmark Young Adult School / Benchmark Transitions
ST Cluelessness
exhausted:
No Milk they are already making decisions about how their futures are affected, but their bad ones, and no they are not mature enough to be making those decisions, as they are quite clearly demonstarting, I don't know what you want me to say here, I won't back down because I can't! I cannot sit back & watch them put themselves and me into an early grave, something bad is going to happen soon, they are way out of their league in what they're getting up to - it cannot continue, my main fear being they are going to end up in jail, jail is no good for kids who have mental problems, some proper help is what's needed
I tell them how much I'm worried because they need to know that they are putting themselves in danger and I will always be here when they are ready to talk to me about their problems, I can't do anything about it if you think that'll push them further away, I don't nag, i just talk with them, not at them, with them, not talking to them is not an option, why do you always pounce on me like it's my fault they're behaving this way all the time? It's not my fault, I am a good mother, I would die for my kids, yet everything I say you're there telling me everything I do is wrong, wel i can sit at their school, down the police sattion and listen to that...I am doing my best! THAT is the reality of my situation....don't ask me not to do whatever it takes to keep them safe from themselves because it won't happen, I'd rather they hated me than go identify their bodies.
Niles, point taken, I understand how manipulative these programs can be, I'm glad I didn't come across one I can send my boys to, because I would have done, but your right in saying that the 1st time they said something bad was going down, i'd have pulled them out of there, i don't believe in not taking kids seriously when they say bad shit's happening, I'd rather get them the hell out and then take it up with whoever....knowing my kids are safe while I fight it out
Anonymous:
Of course people are going to blame you. Who else is there? I mean properly they should be blaming your kids- they're responsible for their own actions, after all- but as their parent you're going to get blamed simply for lack of alternatives.
I'm not saying "give up", I'm just saying that your approach is completely back-asswards and counterproductive. Have you ever said anything like this to them?
"If you keep bathing your brains in alcohol, I'm not there to save you from the effects, if you keep failing school I can't change your grades, and if you're going to go out partying with yobs all night long, I'm not there to stop you from getting in a car wreck or getting stabbed! It isn't physically possible for me to take care of you all the time, so you're going to have to start acting like adults on your own! Now you can go out and do what you like, because that's what you've been doing anyway, but if you go and get yourselves hurt or killed it's no one's fault but yours!"
You have to accept the fact that they're maturing, or they never fucking will.
Bring them on this forum and I'll talk to them.
Other than that, I'm leaving this thread and this discussion, as I know when a conversation is going nowhere.
exhausted:
--- Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal"" ---Of course people are going to blame you. Who else is there? I mean properly they should be blaming your kids- they're responsible for their own actions, after all- but as their parent you're going to get blamed simply for lack of alternatives.
I'm not saying "give up", I'm just saying that your approach is completely back-asswards and counterproductive. Have you ever said anything like this to them?
"If you keep bathing your brains in alcohol, I'm not there to save you from the effects, if you keep failing school I can't change your grades, and if you're going to go out partying with yobs all night long, I'm not there to stop you from getting in a car wreck or getting stabbed! It isn't physically possible for me to take care of you all the time, so you're going to have to start acting like adults on your own! Now you can go out and do what you like, because that's what you've been doing anyway, but if you go and get yourselves hurt or killed it's no one's fault but yours!"
You have to accept the fact that they're maturing, or they never fucking will.
Bring them on this forum and I'll talk to them.
Other than that, I'm leaving this thread and this discussion, as I know when a conversation is going nowhere.
--- End quote ---
Oh yer I've said all that, I think I've said and tried everything there is!!
I have asked them to come speak with people here & explained that lots of you guys have been teens with problems and given a basic outline of wjhat the site is about.....they have said they are willing to talk, however getting them to come in at a time when I don't want to be up all night with them on the computer is quite difficult, the 13 year old is a little apprehensive because his dyslexia is so severe he doesn't like anyone to think he's 'thick' when his speling's wrong or he cant find the right words, so he'll be a little more of a challenge, I just told him to check out what I've written, i don't want to hide any of what I've said to them, and also he'll see how I type too fast for my brain and constantly make spelling mistakes :D I will try again this weekend to get them to put their point across, it may even help me to get some insight as to what they're thinking and feeling....
I am now off to watch a documentary about people facing their agoraphobic fears.
White Cracker Man:
Would now be a good time to tell that I am not a touch typist? I think it might have something to do with the bad hand -eye cordination I have been plagued with all my life. But no one notices unless they are with me when I'm typing.
exhausted:
Doiesn't matter Michael, as long as your message gets across who cares how it's spelt, no one's going to arrest you over it....my 13 yr old is a computer whizz but he gets so frustrated that it takes him an hour to write one sentence bless him
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