Now now Deb. We can't have any common sense thrown into the mix.
:wink: 
Unfortunately, it's not common. In fact, likely to be viewed as commy, hippie, liberal, radical, fringe. What the hell.
I do think Weil is right on the money about our inherent desire to alter our consciousness. War on Inherent Instincts- a loosing battle. Actually a winning, and lucrative battle for those who promote it.
Another one of my infamous parenting resource books is "Fuck Yes".
From the Chapter "Say
Yes to Teenage Sex"
Dad has just reported to wife and daughter, that the answer to any question is "Yes'.
Dulcinea: Is a girl always supposed to say 'yes' when a boy asks her a question?
Dad: I think so. Yes.
Dul: Always? Are you telling me to always say Yes to a boy?
Dad: Oh, do you think that I'm telling you what you should do, honey? If you think so, you're wrong. You probably would be best off if you decided for yourself what is good or bad for you. I am only suggesting for you to consider that the best answer you could give to any question is the answer, Yes.
Dul: You?re just trying to get out of it, Pa. Answer me straight. Do you think a girl should answer Yes to a boy? (She thought she had me) And added, And you know very well what sort of question I?m talking about.
Dad: Yes, Dulcinea, you should tell him Yes.
My wife slapped her forehead with her open palm and looked up to heaven as though appealing to God for relief from my endless stupidity. Dulcinea stared at me with mouth hanging slightly open.
Dad: Yes honey, when a boy asks you to have sex with him, the best answer you can give him is Yes. Thought about my answer, then again? Say Yes Dulcinea. It?s a good answer. Call him by name. Say, yes Bill, let?s do it if you really want to.
She stared as though she were thinking, "Is this my dad talking?"
Yes, Dulcie, this is your dad talking. Look, honey, you could tell him how proud and honored you are that he?s asked. You could say, Thanks Bill. And you could tell him you think he?s a very brave guy.
Dul: Huh?
Dad: Sure, Honey. Tell him he?s really brave. You could say, Bill, there are very few guys who are willing to risk giving up high school for a girl. I appreciate the chance you?re taking. Remind him that the two of you might be lucky enough to have a little baby together. Tell him you?d like to plan the future with him. He can go get some little job-maybe making hamburgers some place-and when he gets home you?ll fix him mac and cheese.
Dulcinea made a face. She hates mac and cheese.
Dad: Well, if you?d like to avoid cooking dinners and skipping high school, you can always kill the kid.
Dul: Dad, that?s gross.
Dad: I know it, honey, so maybe you?d like to have his company when you have to go through it. You could say to him, Bill, I think we should get an abortion, but honestly I want to have you there when they do it. Say to him, They stick these metal things up inside a girl and scrape the little baby away, so would you come into the OR with me? After all, it is our little baby. Ours together, Bill.
Dulcineas made a face like she'd been offered creamed squash.
Dul: Why does anyone do it.
Dad: Yes it does get complicated, huh, Dulcie? You know, after you?ve said all this to Bill, he might be a little less excited about making love than when the idea first hit him, but if he?s got any sort of head at all on his shoulders, he?ll start thinking about birth control.
Dulcinea smiled and nodded.
Dad: Well Dulcie, I think you should tell him that?s a good idea, and you?d like to talk it over with him. Say, That?s a good idea, what do you think we should use? Wanna use a rubber or that foam stuff? ?(more graphic details of abortion....)
He may think that you?re talking too much, Dulcie, but women should talk; after all it?s your body, right?
Dul: Nodding, I guess so.
Dad: After all he loves you, right?
Dul: Shrugs. I guess.
Dad: Well of course he does. Tell him how happy that makes you. Say, I love you, Bill, and I know you love me, and that?s going to make my parents very happy. They?re going to be thrilled to learn about the intensity of our relationship. Grab him by the hand and say, Let?s go tell Mom and Dad right now.
Dulcinea put her hand over her mouth again to keep herself from giggling, trying to keep a straight face.
Say to him, It?ll be our first night together, Bill. Go rent a room at the Downtown Hilton, and have them send up room service with some champagne so that it?ll be really nice for us. It only costs a hundred dollars. Bring me some flowers.
Dul: Oh Pa, lots of guys have a hundred dollars these days.
She looked at me, a small smile on her lips, and some affection for me showing in her eyes, as though she was both fond and proud of me for having faith in her, for giving her more freedom and respect than she expected. I had the feeling that she might have come across the room and given me a hug, except that that is an awkward thing to do when you are thirteen and building your independence, your identity.
I would have liked that. A hug.
Rarely able to keep my mouth shut for long, I started talking again, telling her, See Dulcie, if you say Yes to him this way, you?ll avoid having to reject him. He, himself, may reject all the responsibility you?re offering him. And maybe you?ll both be safer and stronger because you talked about it.
Dul: Yeah, I guess so.
Dad: You see, probably, at first, he would have been thinking that his big problem is to get you to have sex with him, but with this sort of answer you get yourself out of the way, you will stop being the problem, and then he?ll notice there are other questions, like: how much do you really care for one another, and what does all of that lead to.
Dul: Hey, yeah, that?s right. Hey, I got to do my homework; we got finals next week.
But she stuck around for a while talking with Astoria about a blouse. A little later she started toward her room, but after a few steps she turned back to face me. There was a tough little gleam in her eye. She very independently said to me, Well, what if I want to? The pill is very safe, you know. Lots of kids use it, you know.
A wave of tiredness swept over me. I wondered if she?d heard anything I?d tried to tell her. Had anything I?d said made it easier for her to handle her life?
Dul: Well?
She was failing to understand that I was serious, that I was finished with fucking around, that I meant what I said. Was it the same with Astoria, I wondered? Did she fail to understand, too?
Dul: Well, should I say Yes?
Dad: I?m you father, honey. I?m happy to share with you everything I know and everything I have. But your life is your own. Live it as best you can.
Dul: Okay. And skipped lightly out of the room.
:lol:
Wonder if this approach might work with program parents.... Yes, by all means, send your child to a program; think of what you'll have to look forward to..........you know the rest of the story.
