Anyone grateful for the time at Spring Creek Lodge?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-19 11:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

I am a good friend!!! I feel like I am being attacked I barly had time to read anything you have givin me. He will be turning 18 in june.


Sorry I am having a hard time typing my feelings this is all new to me. I just want to be a good friend and be here for him when he gets out.


I can't get him out!! but yet i feel i am still being attached"

It sounds like we are talking of the same person.  He has alot of good friends who would like to do anything they could for him.  If we are speaking of the same person, hopefully when/if he gets out in June, he will know we will all be there for him and help him in whatever way necessary.  At this time, all we can do is hope for the best.  Trust me, I am not attacking you.  I think you must be a very good friend.  Maybe you could talk to his family, perhaps they would listen to you.

"
[/quote]

His name is Brandon. We are from florida. Are we talking about the same person? His family has read alot of the info on the web. After he was put in. Now they are confused. I feel sorry for them they have people yelling at them bringing up stuff in the past. They are only making it worse. They really are good parents not the type to just send him off so they dont have to deal with him. I am hoping if these people who were playing with his mind and now are attaching his parents would just let them alone so they can deal with there feeling. Maybe they will go get him. I have to admit it is hard on the brain reading all this with all the emotions I feel. I can only guess it is worse on the parents afraid to make any more rash desions.

[Anonymous]

His name is Brandon. We are from florida. Are we talking about the same person? His family has read alot of the info on the web. After he was put in. Now they are confused. I feel sorry for them they have people yelling at them bringing up stuff in the past. They are only making it worse. They really are good parents not the type to just send him off so they dont have to deal with him. I am hoping if these people who were playing with his mind and now are attaching his parents would just let them alone so they can deal with there feeling. Maybe they will go get him. I have to admit it is hard on the brain reading all this with all the emotions I feel. I can only guess it is worse on the parents afraid to make any more rash desions."
[/quote]

No, I guess we are talking about two different people.  The person I know went to many people for help and guidance, but they were unable to help him since his parents would not listen to him or talk to anyone.  I'm sure this is a common story on here, since not very many kids go into this program voluntarily and there is alot of hard feelings between the parents and the kid and his friends.  Good luck to your friend.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-19 12:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

His name is Brandon. We are from florida. Are we talking about the same person? His family has read alot of the info on the web. After he was put in. Now they are confused. I feel sorry for them they have people yelling at them bringing up stuff in the past. They are only making it worse. They really are good parents not the type to just send him off so they dont have to deal with him. I am hoping if these people who were playing with his mind and now are attaching his parents would just let them alone so they can deal with there feeling. Maybe they will go get him. I have to admit it is hard on the brain reading all this with all the emotions I feel. I can only guess it is worse on the parents afraid to make any more rash desions."

No, I guess we are talking about two different people.  The person I know went to many people for help and guidance, but they were unable to help him since his parents would not listen to him or talk to anyone.  I'm sure this is a common story on here, since not very many kids go into this program voluntarily and there is alot of hard feelings between the parents and the kid and his friends.  Good luck to your friend."
[/quote]
Are you talking about the kids Alex I read about in the spring creek lodge forum?

[Anonymous]

All I hear is how this place is bad. Can anyone give me some alternative places to send him for help. If I had something like that to take back to his parents maybe that would help. Other then let him find his own way to make mistakes and learn on his own. This wouldn't be an option. His parents are really trying to give him the best skills to succeed in life. I need an alternative place where he can get help that isn't abusive like you say this place is.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-20 06:13:00, Anonymous wrote:

"All I hear is how this place is bad. Can anyone give me some alternative places to send him for help. If I had something like that to take back to his parents maybe that would help. Other then let him find his own way to make mistakes and learn on his own. This wouldn't be an option. His parents are really trying to give him the best skills to succeed in life. I need an alternative place where he can get help that isn't abusive like you say this place is."

There must be some local facilities in Florida that can help your friend.  Why was he sent to SCL - what was he doing wrong?  If it was for drugs, there are many outpatient treatment centers for kids that DO help.  That is the problem my friend had, he was never given the chance to try intensive outpatient therapy. Unfortunately, if he doesn't want help, anything you do for him is not going to work.  He will have to learn from his mistakes.  Most of the time they do learn, sometimes it just takes a little longer than others! Most parents just don't understand that.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-20 06:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2005-12-20 06:13:00, Anonymous wrote:


"All I hear is how this place is bad. Can anyone give me some alternative places to send him for help. If I had something like that to take back to his parents maybe that would help. Other then let him find his own way to make mistakes and learn on his own. This wouldn't be an option. His parents are really trying to give him the best skills to succeed in life. I need an alternative place where he can get help that isn't abusive like you say this place is."

There must be some local facilities in Florida that can help your friend.  Why was he sent to SCL - what was he doing wrong?  If it was for drugs, there are many outpatient treatment centers for kids that DO help.  That is the problem my friend had, he was never given the chance to try intensive outpatient therapy. Unfortunately, if he doesn't want help, anything you do for him is not going to work.  He will have to learn from his mistakes.  Most of the time they do learn, sometimes it just takes a little longer than others! Most parents just don't understand that."

I don't believe that his parents don't understand that. I feel they are afraid to find him dead or kill someone else. They are trying to avoid that. Yes it was drugs and a year of making very bad judgments and not taking responsibility's for it always blaming someone else.

[Anonymous]

Well, I still believe they should be able to find local treatment facilities that could help him.  If his parents are beginning to question what they have done, then it is time for them to get him out of there.

[Anonymous]

His parents are really trying to give him the best skills to succeed in life.

I feel they are afraid to find him dead or kill someone else.

not taking responsibility's for it always blaming someone else.

You sure use a lot of program speak... makes ya wonder.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-20 09:23:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

His parents are really trying to give him the best skills to succeed in life.

I feel they are afraid to find him dead or kill someone else.

not taking responsibility's for it always blaming someone else.

You sure use a lot of program speak... makes ya wonder. "

I don't know what you mean by program speak you can wonder all you want. I am looking for somewhere for him. not out patient to easy for him to run to the people that are still doing the drugs before he is ready. If I was part of the program wouldn't I be saying he is where he needs to be? duh

[Anonymous]

Is there such a place where they keep him but have family therapy on top of the drug issues
so he can re bond with his family. I tried looking but I am having a hard time finding anything?

[Anonymous]

You can't make someone quit using drugs, they have to WANT to quit.  If you want him locked up somewhere, then I guess leave him at SCL, or better yet, Jail!  He is not a child, you can't pick his friends for him.  He needs to be accountable for his own decisions.  Are they going to want to control what he does, who he sees when he is 20? 30? 40?  Sometimes, you just have to let people make their mistakes and learn from them.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-20 10:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Is there such a place where they keep him but have family therapy on top of the drug issues

so he can re bond with his family. I tried looking but I am having a hard time finding anything?"

Yea, its called inpatient rehabilitation treatment center.  The same places that offer outpatient, usually offer inpatient.  I had a very close friend who went through outpatient substance abuse treatment, continued in school, graduated, and is on to college.  It does work, if the individual wants it to work.  What makes you think your friend wouldn't succeed in outpatient treatment?  Quit thinking for him and his family - let him think for himself.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-12-20 10:24:00, Anonymous wrote:

"You can't make someone quit using drugs, they have to WANT to quit.  If you want him locked up somewhere, then I guess leave him at SCL, or better yet, Jail!  He is not a child, you can't pick his friends for him.  He needs to be accountable for his own decisions.  Are they going to want to control what he does, who he sees when he is 20? 30? 40?  Sometimes, you just have to let people make their mistakes and learn from them.  "

FIRST OF ALL AGAIN I AM NOT THE ONE WHO LOCKED HIM UP!!! SECONDLY EVERYONE MATURES AT A DIFFERENT RATE HE MAY BE 17 BUT HE HAS A LOT TO LEARN. WE SHOULD HELP OUR KIDS UNTIL THEY ARE READY. ARE YOU TELLING ME IF YOU HAVE KIDS? WHEN THEY ARE 18 IF THEY ARE READY OR NOT THEY ARE TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE WITH YOU SAYING GOOD LUCK SINK OR SWIM. I THINK THAT IS SOOOO WRONG. MY KIDS CAN STAY HOME UNTIL THEY HAVE THE SKILLS AND JOB IT TAKES AS LONG AS THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE. MOST KIDS GRADUATE AT 18 AND ARE A FAR WAY FROM READY TO GO MAKE IT ON THERE OWN. IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME YOU ARE A KID YOURSELF. SEEING YOU USED THE PHRASE CONTROL HIM. IT IS NOT CONTROL IT IS PARENTING. YOU NEVER STOP BEING A PARENT. YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PICK THERE FRIENDS BUT YOU SHOULD TRY YOUR BEST TO STEER THEM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
PART OF ME ALSO BELIEVES HE SHOULD BE SENT OUT ON HIS OWN TO LEARN BUT I CAN ALSO SEE A PARENTS POINT OF VIEW. YOU CAN JUST SEND HIM ON HIS WAY AND SAY WELL WHEN YOU DECIDE TO QUIT DOING DRUGS LET ME KNOW. THAT IS THE KIDS THAT END UP DEAD!! BECAUSE NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO HELP.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they should have been trying to help him long before now - drug problems don't happen overnight, and usually not when the kid is 17/18 years old.

[Anonymous]

First, unlock you caps.  Its annoying and very difficult to read.

Second, I have kids.  Yes, they can stay home after they turn 18 but it is NOT my job to dictate what he/she should or shouldn't do with their lives.  Both of mine are over 18 and some of the years leading up to that milestone were pretty scary but trying to force them to adopt my POV is a waste of time.  There is a reason why kids move out.  There is a reason why they become a little nuts for a while.  Its called cutting the apron strings, or finding their own autonomy.  There is an incredibly fine line between parenting and control nowadays.  Quite scary if you ask me.  Most kids go through some sort of insane period for a while and most of them grow out of in on their own (even if they do scare the shit out of their parents while going thru said period).  Parents need to stop trying to create these little carbon copies of themselves, or Stepford kids that adhere to the perceived 'norm'.  

Of course I'll never stop being a parent, but I know where my limitations are and should be.