It was a madhouse scene in the normally dry and sedate bankruptcy court. Miller Newton, enraged at the catcalls directed at Ruthie from the gallery, stood up and yelled at me as I was flipping him off, "Get this druggie the fuck out of my trial!" at the top of his lungs and proceeded to jump across the aisle, surprisingly limber for such an old coot. I saw him winding up for a punch so I fell back on my old Tai' Chi training and planted a size 13 steel toed boot square in the family jewels. Newton will not be reproducing anytime soon. He staggered back, clutching at his groin, as Ruthie ran up behind him to console him. He popped back up and took a swing at me, which I ducked, and replied with a crack to his skull from the liquor bottle I had smuggled in to court, after I drained it, of course, no sense in wasting good Scotch. Thinking quickly, Virgil grabbed ahold of Ruthie and used her as a shield to deflect the blows coming from myself and a few other enraged Straight survivors. While this was going on, the judge kept repeatedly banging his gavel, futilely calling for order as the court reporters went to summon security. A couple of Newton's pasty-faced followers tried to intervene, but were deterred by a crowbar that seemed to appear out of nowhere from the center of the crowd of hostile Straight victims in attendance. After kicking Ruthie in the kneecaps and hearing a satisfying sound of bone splintering, I grabbed Virgil by the throat, throttling him until he began to turn blue in the face. Kpickle started yelling at me that I was killing Newton, and to take my hands off of the would-be priest. At first I was thankful that what appeared to be a wiser and cooler head was helping me get back to a calm state, but I was mistaken. Kpickle merely wanted me to stop strangling Virgil so that HE could get in a few minutes of "throat time" with the ol' child-abuser-in-Chief. It took the concerted effort of three or four Straight survivors and a few court officials to pry Kpickle's viselike death grip off of Virgil's throat. Fortunately, the security officers sprayed the courtroom with tear gas, and we were able to make our exit under the clouds of pepper spray. To any of you other Survivors who may have been unwittingly caught up in today's mayhem, I apologize, but I wasn't gonna stand still while Virgil physically assaulted me (he tried to touch my junk, but that's another story....). I promise I'll do some kind of fundraiser to help you guys out with bail, until then, just think of yourselves as martyrs for the cause of liberty. Thanks in advance for your patience and efforts.
Well, that's a nice story, and much more exciting than what really went down, but it is entirely fabricated (except for the part about Miller Newton trying to touch my junk). Virgil and Ruthie didn't have to show up, it was pretty dry and mundane (read about it on another thread if you give a fuck). Talked to the plaintiff's attorney, he said in a worst-case-for-Newton scenario, Virgil will lose his church property. Criminal charges are beyond the scope of this particular case, apparently. Fuck.
On a "positive" note, it was really cool hanging out with Mike and Kim after the hearing, and getting to meet Mike in the first place. Thanks for the ride and such, hope to see you again sometime.
See ya next time, Virgil! :wave:
