One thing that stikes me over and over again is that we seed people really have a skewed sense of personal boundaries. We either tell WAY TOO much or we EXCLUDE way too much. I found no real peace trying to use these seed tools.
On the one had, some folk still feel some dying need to confront others - when THEY deem it appropriate, persons they think are "full of shit". Personally, I really hate that statement - it's so demeaning to the recipient and so telling on the speaker.
But do you guys notice how that mentality is a one way street - that it's one person who is making the determination and value judgements about the worth of another person? Granted, I'm not present there so I have no information about why someone would feel the need to use such viscious tools.
I just don't think we, as human beings, have the right to do that to each other unless some important action on the part of the "full of shit" person has directly impacted our lives. And I mean a real impact that has the potential to significantly change the course of one's life.
What that confrontational behavior ends up doing is alienating people - people who might have otherwise, but for my shortsightedness, judgment and emotional immaturity, brought me a smidge of understanding or compassion or some other good things.
That fanatical confrontation/exclusion behavior allows someone to continue living in a very protected world without letting in any new ideas. There's no strain whatsoever to using this tool. I liken it to a "scorched-earth" approach - the napalm of personal, business and acquaintance realtions.
I don't view that as strenght so much as I do weakness, immmaturity or insecurity in one's belief system - to use some seed words. I mean, what's to learn? Where is the growth if everyone you surround yourself with thinks like you do?
I've been accused of being the stick-weilding zen master on this forum (and rightly so) and I learned from that - I had to stretch myself to look serously at another's point of view and step outside myself. It was a good and humbling lesson.
I value my friendships, but I also value the challenges of having to learn about new people, new cultures, and other belief systems that challenge my views. It's okay for people to be different.
Under the seed approach, the only newness that gets in is a formely unknown person who has the same values and passions as oneself. Where's the greatness or challenge in that? It kept me in a very rigid and closed life allthese years.
[ This Message was edited by: Stripe on 2005-08-11 06:18 ]
