and heading down a road to ruin has no chance. I doubt that my son would have finished high school let alone get accepted to a good college.
That is the purest definition of hypothetical ever.
Thank you for proving my point.
Psy should get you in touch with a certain parent who used to feel the same way you did. Then she started listening to her kid, who is also a carlbrook grad, and what they went through, and changed her tune. It was amazing, and the biggest 180 I've ever witnessed. I wasn't impressed simply because she started to agree with people, in fact, she is in full capacity of her own opinion. Rather, she started actually realizing that being a parent doesn't always mean you are entirely 100% right 100% of the time.
Let me clue you in to a little secret. When a kid has a problem, it is not just the kid's problem. It's a family problem, and everyone has had a hand in it. These places always place the blame on the kid, even if admissions tells you it's a family problem.
I am a CEDU alum, and my program was almost identical to Carlbrook's, since that is where CB got its dogma from. We were the parent of the program your kid went to. Would you like to know what they start teaching you the minute you walk in the door? That your parents are unfeeling assholes who have done nothing but crush your inner child since day 1, and sent you away because they just want to abandon you. Hell, the first workshop, called the truth at CEDU, and I believe is called integritas at CB, bases it's entire premise on how your "chrome ball" was sullied and made filthy by people in your life who have done nothing but keep you down. The #1 culprit they tell you? Your parents. You spend almost every rap doubled over, snot pouring out of your nose, screaming "FUCK YOU MOM! FUCK YOU DAD!" Then the program turns around and tells you that your parents did the best they could, while at the same time teaching the kid that you are both uncaring assholes. It's totally schizophrenic. These are some of the things that your child will never tell you about carlbrook, because while they are still indoctrinated, they ally themselves with carlbrook, not you. (BTW, chances are that will wear off after a few years, and then the post-program roulette wheel will spin and land on a number that will determine the REAL course your relationship with your now adult offspring will take. Let's hope it doesn't hit green, because that's happened, and then your kid will be in the ground.)
The CEDU clones don't fix your family. They BECOME your family. The family that REALLY understands, and while your son/daughter is under the influence, that is where their heart lay. Once they come out of it, (if they do), there is a good possibility that they will at least harbor SOME level of resentment for you, for the rest of their lives. This is also hypothetical as it pertains to your situation, but it is not in terms of what has happened to people who come out of these places. I promise.
I pride myself in the fact that I have let go of the resentment towards my parents regarding this, (years ago) and I daresay that I have a pretty functional relationship with them, and even so, there is still that little ball of hell-yeah-I'm-pissed that is buried deep inside, along with the parts of you that harbor survival instinct. As such, it is non-negotiable, even if you want it to change it, you can't. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that I was towing the CEDU line for about three years after the fact. I wasn't pissed off about it right away, either. In fact, while I was there, I was so under the influence that I used to have nightmares about my parents pulling me from the program. It's like coming out of a coma.
The fact of the matter is, Carlbrook has changed your relationship with your kid forever, and I promise you, it is not the package you paid for, even though things may seem like rainbows and unicorns now.
And why does it do this? Because the beginning of that road starts with a simple betrayal of trust on your part. Most kids get up to these places by escort, trickery, or a sudden realization that this place is VERY different from what they expected. (The first two scenarios, btw, are normally the suggestion of the program scaring the crap out of you, and is rarely an idea the parents came up with on their own. (The program then capitalizes on this, btw, by demonizing the parents.) Maybe parents feel slighted because their kid has betrayed their trust. Well, you know what? That happens with teens, because that is the age where they test their parents. You did it too, but most likley differently, because it was a different generation. Every generation thinks that this is the worst batch of teens that has ever existed, and will be responsible for the downfall of civilization. Well, it hasn't happened yet. Admissions capitalizes on the desperation a parent will feel about their kid. They will scare you even more than you are already scared. And then offer a one-size-fits-all cookie cutter solution to fix everything. Your kid does not get specialized treatment or care, btw. They get what everyone else gets. Nothing more or less.
I recommend asking your kid exactly what went on in those workshops you paid for, because biting down on a towel while yanking both ends as hard as you can, to the point of practically destroying your jaw, while staff are screaming bloody murder in your ears, to the tune of rocky, and doing that three times in a row, isn't my idea of family therapy. What do you think?
Chances are, they probably won't tell you about any of this. Don't you think that is a little weird?
This is the real tragedy of these places. They do more than compromise the psyche of your kid, they compromise the entire family.
I normally don't provide this much of a wake up call to a program parent, for some reason, I was feeling generous today. You may think I am being callous, or even lying, but please trust me when I say that I really don't talk program like this because I want to fuck with you.
I got into college, too, by the way, and there are people on this forum who have stated unequivocally that the academic program at CB is similar to the one at CEDU's, which is most certainly sub par. The reason I got into college is because I was smart enough ahead of time, enough so that I could lose two and a half years of a valid education and still make around a 1200 on the SATs. So, your kid deserves some serious congratulations on that.
You may not believe or agree with anything I say, but I ask you, for the sake of argument, talk to your kid and ask exactly the kinds of exercises and things they did in the workshops and raps. Any response you are going to get out of this, btw, will be weird. They may be evasive, or be vague, saying things like "It taught me to trust my inner child, and take responsibility." instead of actually telling you WHAT they did. Or.. they will tell you exactly the types of things that happened. If you are lucky, the last scenario won't happen. The workshops they put the parents through, if they still do that, are NOTHING like what your kid went through.
I'll leave you with this.. there is a VERY GOOD REASON why these places don't tell you exactly what happens behind the closed doors of a rap or workshop. It's because, in their words, the parents "won't fully understand."
Well, god knows, I hope not!
