Author Topic: How about some damn ANSWERS.  (Read 48961 times)

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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #360 on: January 21, 2005, 07:06:00 PM »
OWC, go to hell. Dont pass go, dont collect your fee for transportation, just go to hell. End your stupid fucking life now.

STOP trying to scare her mom into giving up her kid to yet MORE people who want to make a profit off of keeping her captive. She needs to get AWAY from dipshits like you and start raising her kid herself and not being worked over and manipulated so they pay people (like yourself) to 'fix' her because you try to convince her thats the only way her daughter will survive.

Know what goths really do all day? Sit around, read poetry, read Nietzche, listen to Marilyn Manson, bitch about 'the establishment' and how stupid people like YOU are, OWC, and maybe drink their parents liquor. Basically what ALL KIDS DO. Different books, different musicians, but you have  got to be shitting me if you think its abnormal and some big prob if they had a beer or a shot of some drink too strong for them to even handle.

Communication and a pack of condoms would go a lot farther than you putting your grubby little hands on another teenage boy or girl, you sick, twisted FUCK. I am SO sick of people like you trying to terrify and manipulate parents like Chi into this little pyramid scheme. If youre THAT afraid of her having sex, and if you cant bring yourself to give her the talk, get her a playgirl and a vibrator! The internet has TONS of websites about this.

All youre doing, although in sneakier words, is "You cant raise your kid, we know it all, your kid is messed up, so give up and send them to us.

Chi, dont listen to these people anymore, make them get a REAL job and take your kid home. Mom knows best, thats how god and nature intended, and the best place for your child is with you, in your arms, away from EVERYONE. If you are really that afraid of her friends and can't just talk to them, get a restraining order, but for your daughters sake, dont just give up, again, and send her away again!

PLEASE! MOM KNOWS BEST! NOT SOME PROGRAM, NOT SOME KIDNAPPER LIKE "one who cares" AND NOT SOME SNAKEOIL SALESMAN. God and mother nature gave you the tools, dont let THEM tell you anything else! If you listen to your daughter, she'll listen to you. If you say you're sorry and hug her, she'll give it back. Send the girl to a relative, or just  stay home with her all day. Just for her sake PLEASE dont send her off again.

India Indicas, Mr. Peabody?
-- Sherman

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #361 on: January 21, 2005, 07:10:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-01-21 13:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I don't know but the last kid that i transported who was 15 pointed to a gas station where he said he had sex with his girlfriend in the bathroom. The girl was 14. I think that is a shame and also disgusting in a gas station bathroom. I think Chi is not far off. Girls don't think a blow job is sex anymore, it's just like another base for them. The one who cares"


So, are you advocating sending teens who engage in sex off to these places for "treatment"??  What kind of treatment would that be exactly???
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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #362 on: January 21, 2005, 07:20:00 PM »
Sex is just another normal thing they blow out of proportion to get 'customers', anon.

He probably doesnt even know how to handle the fact that teenagers masturbate or look at porn, *GASP*!

T'is an ill wind that blows no minds.
--Syadasti

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DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Deborah

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« Reply #363 on: January 21, 2005, 07:28:00 PM »
80% of the abstinence propoganda is inaccurate.

Fear does interfer with people's ability to think rationally.
In any sane and reasonable society it would be illegal to put teens in abusive bubbles which prevent them from learning how to master their environment- how to live in the REAL world.

January 9, 2005

Abstinence-Only Programs Skimpy with the Truth
Federal support for ?abstinence-only? education programs has grown significantly under the Bush Administration.

A report entitled ?The Content of Federally Funded Abstinence-Only Education Programs?, prepared for Rep. Henry Waxman, evaluated the content of the most popular abstinence-only curricula used by grantees of the largest federal abstinence initiative, SPRANS (Special Programs of Regional and National Significance Community-Based Abstinence Education).

The report found that over 80% of the abstinence-only curricula contain ?false, misleading, or distorted information about reproductive health.?

Children participating in these programs are told, for instance, that ?the popular claim that condoms help prevent the spread of STDs, 'is not supported by the data'?.

The risks of abortion are misrepresented, with abstinence-only programs claiming that 5% to 10% of women who have legal abortions will become sterile.

Gender stereotypes are treated as scientific fact, with one curriculum teaching that women need ?financial support?, while men need ?admiration.?

Scientific errors abound. According to the report, ?One curriculum incorrectly lists exposure to sweat and tears as risk factors for HIV transmission.?

The Report suggests that such serious and pervasive problems with accuracy ?may help explain why these programs have not been shown to protect adolescents from sexually transmitted diseases and why youth who pledge abstinence are significantly less likely to make informed choices about precautions when they do have sex.?

Read the official Report
http://www.democrats.reform.house.gov/D ... -50247.pdf

[ This Message was edited by: Deborah on 2005-01-21 16:29 ]
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gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hidden Lake Academy, after operating 12 years unlicensed will now be monitored by the state. Access information on the Federal Class Action lawsuit against HLA here: http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=17700

Offline chi3

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« Reply #364 on: January 22, 2005, 02:09:00 AM »
I have stayed home and raised my daughter almost completely by myself since she was born. She and I have always been extremely close. She is not at the children's prison because of any little thing, it was lots of little and big things. I repeat, I did not know this place was a hell-hole!!! I was led to believe it was just a strict place for them to cool down and think about what they wanted to do with their lives, get ahead in school, and talk out their problems. Well, know I know differently. I know what my daughter did and didn't do, some she told me, some I heard on the phone, some in instant messages, some in notes and letters, and some from her friend that want her safe. She has a real problem with sex. She is not just fooling around a little. She is obssessed. Especially with gay sex and kinky sex. She is very compulsive. That's why we had been seeing psycologist for years. The problem is, she has no morals. No regrets. She has had sex in the school bathrooms, dressing rooms, bus for band trips, etc. When we took her out of school she was the one planning a massive orgy for about 25 of her friends with lots of drugs. This goes geyond just regular sex and drugs stuff in high school. I know, I did it , too!! I couldn't get her to open up with the doctors. She either lied to them or refused to talk to them. The school kept calling me telling me what was going on, trying to keep it quiet. Well, it got to be common knowledge. I just wanted to try to save her from all of that. I didn't freak out and get hysterical, just didn't know what else to do.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #365 on: January 22, 2005, 03:04:00 AM »
Ok, personal note before I start: I'm as kinky as hell myself, but I can keep it to myself. Its really not a bad thing if you can control your libido. Life should have a little spice to it! *ahem* I hope your opinion of me doesn't change.

ANYWAY... Its good that you're close to her! Try to keep the bond with her and try to help her understand what youre trying to do and say.

As far as her mind having no morals or regrets... What? Who said that? Honestly I think thats humanly impossible! She might have some sort of REAL problem, and outpatient treatment can help with that. Same for a support group... a real one, not the AA type of crap.

And in her case of sexual obsession... umm... just get her a damn jackrabbit vibrator. Yeah, its pretty funny and hard to keep a straight face talking about masturbating, but why get a hamburger out there when she has steak at home?

Batteries dont cost too much. And if she NEEDS some sort of support community the internet has a ton of resources. I could probably find you plenty! lol. Weird situations call for weird solutions, but at least youd know who she'd be with, B.O.B. :lol:

Sorry, but thats honestly the only solution I could think of. Nothings gonna be 'normal' on this forum, thats for sure!

Everything in moderation, including moderation.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/external-search?tag=circlofmiamithem&keyword=mark+twain&mode=books' target='_new'>Mark Twain

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Perrigaud

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« Reply #366 on: January 22, 2005, 06:10:00 AM »
I have always found that the acting out (obsession with sex) is not about the sex. It goes deeper than that. Sex is relieving something for her. I don't know what that is exactly for her. But I do know that it probably has to do with the fact that it fufills something for her. Often times it's about feeling loved or wanted by someone other than family. Sex is taught to be between two people who love each other. One of my friends from when I was 16 used to have sex a lot because she said she felt loved for that 10 minutes. She knew it wasn't real love but she allowed herself to give in to the illusion of it all. A false sense of love.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #367 on: January 22, 2005, 06:55:00 AM »
Niles get over i am very over your immature pokes and insults directed towards me by you. Get a life. You have allot of deep anger, you need to get thereapy!!! This boy might have been lieing. I am not advocating to send teens away just for sex, but example i picked up a 15 year old girl, and her entire room had been writen all over the walls by her and her friends. Stuff so sexual not teen should even know about. The parents found dildos and used condoms in thier basement. The girl was also doing drugs. How would you fell if your daughter had such disrespect for you as to do that to her room and also the poor girl had no idea that she was giving away her most precious possession, her viginity.I won't even get into what i read on that girls wall. The last boy was not sent away because of sex by the way. I mentioned for all of you to watch the movie Thirteen, no one replied? Has anyone seen it? You all should.
niles i will no longer respond to anything you post to me. The one waho cares
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #368 on: January 22, 2005, 07:38:00 AM »
I saw the movie Thirteen.  That girl was not sent anywhere in that movie, she had a mother who stood by her, through thick and thin.  She didn't send her off to some sick "school" to get her help (that would have been a different movie entirely).  Her mother stuck with her unconditionally, even when it seemed things were out of control, and this is why the viewer is left with the notion that the teenager will be okay, that she made some poor decisions, got into some trouble, but, because of her mothers unconditional support, she *will* be okay.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #369 on: January 22, 2005, 07:58:00 AM »
To the person posting here who is apparantely a transporter and/or kidnapper (for one of those escort companies that takes kids to private lock-up facilities?)... First of all, the way you speak about sex, seems you one of those conservative/fundamentalist types.  You wouldn't by any chance be from Utah, would you?  Probably not very well traveled, either (I mean to places outside the Rocky Mountains).  You are probably like one of those people who vote to make war in the middle east, but have never even known someone from that region of the world.  Probably one of those who has such disdain for the French, but has never even been to France.  And what sort of education and credentials do you hold?  What school of psychological thought do you most ascribe to?  Frued?  Gestalt?  In fact you seem to be so typical of the kind of people that work at these bm facilities-  undereducated, unworldly, unliscensed, unqualified;  with neither the formal training nor the worldliness necessary to effectively work with today's youth.  
Chi, think about it- do you think the (aforementioned) type of person is a good role model for your daughter? Anyway, based on your apparant concern and love for your daughter, I think YOU are the better role model.  You really *should* watch the movie Thirteen.
Sincerely, Megan
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Offline chi3

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« Reply #370 on: January 22, 2005, 08:45:00 AM »
I have seen the movie thirteen, have it on DVD. My daughter thinks it's a hoot. I didn't just ditch my child! I thought I was getting help for her that she wasn't getting here at the psycologist/psychiatrist. I thought she might do better with a consistent setting with no distractions from the people she was hanging around with. Well, guess what? She actually has had some breakthroughs on her feelings toward those people and how she feels about getting therapy and really trying to work at it. Do I think the program did that? No. Did I get lied to about the whole program by the program and ed.con's, and other parents? YES! She is coming home today. Whether they like it or not. I admit I made a mistake, not because I didn't care, just fell for B.S. because I wanted to believe someone, somewhere might be able to help.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #371 on: January 22, 2005, 09:03:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-01-21 23:09:00, chi3 wrote:

"I have stayed home and raised my daughter almost completely by myself since she was born. She and I have always been extremely close. She is not at the children's prison because of any little thing, it was lots of little and big things. I repeat, I did not know this place was a hell-hole!!! I was led to believe it was just a strict place for them to cool down and think about what they wanted to do with their lives, get ahead in school, and talk out their problems. Well, know I know differently. I know what my daughter did and didn't do, some she told me, some I heard on the phone, some in instant messages, some in notes and letters, and some from her friend that want her safe. She has a real problem with sex. She is not just fooling around a little. She is obssessed. Especially with gay sex and kinky sex. She is very compulsive. That's why we had been seeing psycologist for years. The problem is, she has no morals. No regrets. She has had sex in the school bathrooms, dressing rooms, bus for band trips, etc. When we took her out of school she was the one planning a massive orgy for about 25 of her friends with lots of drugs. This goes geyond just regular sex and drugs stuff in high school. I know, I did it , too!! I couldn't get her to open up with the doctors. She either lied to them or refused to talk to them. The school kept calling me telling me what was going on, trying to keep it quiet. Well, it got to be common knowledge. I just wanted to try to save her from all of that. I didn't freak out and get hysterical, just didn't know what else to do."


Chi3---the problems with sex can be biological.

You're essentially describing me as a teen except I was monogamous (thank goodness!).

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what my parents could have done differently, or I could have done differently, to get different teenage results.

I'm happily married, have been for over ten years, and my husband and I are happily monogamous.

*Safe* kink is unimportant as long as it's kept *private* and within the context of a sexual relationship that is *otherwise* within your family's (and later, your daughter's) religious taboos.

Your daughter is hypersexual.  That's a symptom that suggests she *may* be bipolar.  May not, but it's a symptom of mania and suggests you should get it checked.

For me, and for other bipolars I've known, mood stabilizers don't necessarily reduce sex drives (although *some* psychiatric medicines do for *some* patients---to the point that it's a problem and the adult patients have their doctors change their meds over it).  Anyway, the meds don't reduce your sex drive, what they do is improve your impulse control and your level of rationality so that you make better choices about what to do about that drive.  Such as being in a monogamous relationship, using condoms and contraceptives, and masturbating privately instead of including the whole damned world in the details of your sex life.

I don't see your daughter's libido as the problem.    I don't think it would matter how often she was masturbating as long as it was privately under the covers (alone) at home.

Your daughter's problem is judgement, rationality, and impulse control.

It's not even a matter of morality, really--not at the level you're discussing with your daughter.  Even for someone with absolutely no morals, your daughter's behavior would be stupid just from the coldly rational standpoint of personal safety.

I guess I'm saying that she has to get her *practical* judgement in control before her *moral* judgement comes into play one way or the other.

I'm *NOT* saying that every promiscuous teenager is mentally ill.  I *am* saying that combined with the other stuff you've said, *your* daughter's sexual behavior sounds to me like a symptom of mental illness because it's so extreme ('vivid' in clinical terms) and unsafe.

Her sexual judgement will probably *NOT* improve any time soon without the appropriate medication to improve her rationality and impulse control.

As she gets out of her teen years, she will probably grow out of at least some of this behavior because teens generally have lousy impulse control, they're frontal lobes of their brains are still developing (where impulse control lives), and even mentally ill people have better impulse control once their brains are fully mature and developed than they do as teens, when they're still developing.

Getting a couple of opinions from seperate board certified pediatric psychiatrists, particularly asking them to consider the hypersexuality and evaluate whether or not your daughter *may* be bipolar, would be the next thing I'd recommend.

*IF* she has an organic brain disorder (she may or may not), then all the behavior mod in the world even from the best places isn't going to fix her behavior if you don't treat that problem first.

If she doesn't have an organic brain disorder, then a single-sex accredited boarding school that knows her history and is okay with the extra supervision necessary would probably be appropriate for a year or two.  Not to turn her into a perfectly celibate stepford teen, but just to give her time and safety for time to work its normal miracles of having her grow up a bit.

Her morals might not ever agree with yours (or they might, who knows?), but her behavior is risky enough from an HIV standpoint that I can see why you feel *good* residential care is necessary.

But if she's screwing everything in sight because she's ill, it's possible that they could get her stabilized on medication and send her home with her own better judgement more in control of her behavior---in which case you could probably manage her.

I'd say before you do anything else you have to know what you're dealing with.

If it were my child, I'd bring her home to get her out of WWASPS, and I'd enroll her in regular or alternative public school, or homeschool her, while I made the rounds of second and third opinions with board certified pediatric psychiatrists to make absolutely sure of what I was dealing with.

Because you really can't have a solid game plan until you *know* what you're dealing with, and you can't get her to doctors to find out while she's in WWASPS.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it, but that's what *I* would do if I were in your situation.

Also, while I had her home, any time she was going to be out of my sight I'd make sure she had a whole lot of condoms in her purse.  At this point, you're just trying to keep her safe enough to grow up and have her better judgement kick in.

When I brought her home, if it were me, as long as her behavior didn't get unsafe and she was cooperating with seeing the doctors to find out if there was an underlying problem, that would be enough for me.  I wouldn't put her back in even *good* residential care unless and until her behavior got actively, imminently dangerous again.

Timoclea
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #372 on: January 22, 2005, 09:28:00 AM »
To the person that thinks they can take my inventory. I am not from Utah. I am not a morman.
I do not go to church. I do believe in God.
I have no probelm with kinky sex, as long as they are adults.Our society becomes more and more open sexually, while that is great for adults, it is not for the kids. The Internet lets kids see porn and that is where they are getting thier sexual knowledge. I did not see a porn magazine until i was 16, and did not see a porn movie until i was 19. While the kids of my generation where just as curious about sex, they did not have it on the scale it is happening today and at such early ages. Too many kids are having sex too early these days.Also I get along with these kids because, not to toot my own horn but i am allot hipper than most transporters.
So don't just assume, if you know the saying.
The one who cares
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #373 on: January 22, 2005, 09:29:00 AM »
Sorry i meant to say good luck to chi. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.
The one who cares
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #374 on: January 22, 2005, 10:26:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-01-22 03:55:00, Anonymous wrote:

i picked up a 15 year old girl, and her entire room had been writen all over the walls by her and her friends. Stuff so sexual not teen should even know about. The parents found dildos and used condoms in thier basement. The girl was also doing drugs.


Well then, the problem started looooooooooong before they decided to send her to a program.  What??? Did they never go into her room???  Did they not see the 'writing on the wall'?  Literally and figuratively???  THAT is part of the problem.  Parents are oblivious to what's ACTUALLY going on in their kids lives until there's a crisis,  then it's "omg, what are we going to do??".  (Not intended for Chi...you've done an excellent job)  I think that there are kids who need something other than home, but those are the extremely RARE exceptions....like extreme violence, extreme drug use etc.  but THESE places are not the answer for them either.  For the most part though, it seems that parents are living in lala land until some major things happen.  Well, those major things don't just happen over night!!!  Parents need to be much more involved in their kids lives.  Especially the girl you're referencing One Who Kidnaps!!

Quit using a movie to try and scare people!!!  Thirteen is a MOVIE, FICTION.  Intense fiction, but fiction nontheless.  There can be some good lessons learned from it, just like you can learn a good lesson from Aesop's fairly tales.
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