I have waited a long time to write anything in this forum. Especially because I know anonymous is not really anonymous. The keepers of this site seem to have no problem telling others who or where the posts came from. But after much thought I decided to take the chance. I happen to know Amanda, Paige, the extended family and adoptive parents quite well. I know that the C's adopted Amanda only after at least seven other homes rejected her, including Paige, and Amanda's aunt, uncles, and other friends of theirs. I know the C's went into this knowing it would be difficult, but knew that every child deserved a home and deserved to be loved. I do know Paige well and know that she took Jon because he was the easiest of the two and always said that Amanda was not good for him. I know Amanda was often called Demanda by her biological family. I know that from day one the C's recognized that Amanda struggled with telling the truth and she often made up stories about her biological mom trying to get her back. I was the recipient of one of these stories. I know the C's loved and still love her. I know Amanda was offered every opportunity in the world. She traveled, went to camp, she took dance, gymnastics, tennis,snow skiing, snow boarding, voice, she played volleyball, and basketball. I know she was often verbally and physically abusive to her sisters. But the C's still loved her and tried everything to get her to realize that love. I know that the reason AManda did not return to the private school and was homeschooled is because she failed. She failed not because she couldn't do the work, but because she refused to. Public school was not an option because she always chose friends that were not positive influences for her. Remember the C's have two other children that had to be protected from Amanda's choices. I also know that the reason Amanda ran was because she was caught with her boyfriend at a babysitting job after lying about his presence there. I also know that she had been bringing him in thru her bedroom window to sleep with her the week prior to her running, and she bragged about it to her friends at church. I also know that her boyfriend was on probation at school for drug use. Instead of forbidding her from seeing him, the C's encouraged him to go to church and even paid for him to attend the youth retreat the day Amanda ran. I know Amanda was picked up at a Meth lab. She chose not to come home. I know that the C's asked to stay home and go to couseling as a family to work things out, but she chose to go to boarding school. I know they even asked her the day she went to Mex. to stay home but she chose to leave. I also know that Mrs. C went to Mexico to visit and returned excited about Amanda and her desires. They talked about Amanda's return. Amanda told all kinds of stories about being angry at Paige for posting on this site. Paige supposedly told Amanda that Mrs. C was a druggie and had a sleazy past. All lies, I have known both Mr and Mrs. C for most of their lives. These are people that offer their home to anyone in need of a home. They truly offer the love and hospitality that the Bible talks about. True religion is caring for the widows and the fatherless or something like that they would say. I am not part of their religious beliefs, but know they are devoted to loving others and I have been the recipient of that love many times. Amanda, you have hurt many people, friends, family, your little sister still cries every day because she loves you so much. But most of all you are hurting you by trying to live out this lie. You even lied to get Paige and the L's to agree to get you when you ran away. There was never any talk of sending you any where else. The only talk was of you being home and the anticipation of reuniting the family. Amanda, in some ways I agree with others advice to you on this site about not being brainwashed. Make up your mind for yourself. Has it ever occurred to you that Paige might be the one trying to brainwash you? You should be close to 18 now. Think for yourself, but try to remember the truth, not all the lies you have been telling for so long. I think maybe you have told the lies so much that you have begun to believe them.