Desisto School

[Anonymous]

Hey I went to desisto in the 90's and left in 2000. that place was pure hell. he was one twisted motherf***er. i was glad when he died. i wanted to throw a celebration when the school closed down. i was on the farm the lat 6 months. lost all of my shit'cause of their dumbass rule about being gone for more than 24 hours. they totally manipulated our parents in to thinking that they were doing them a favor by keeping us there. i was also there for the tara rubin case and john gay. that school should have been closed down after the tara rubin thing.

[Anonymous]

I went to the Desisto School for 8 months in 95. It was by far the most damaging twisted experience of my life. Myself and a lot of other Desisto students can talk forever about how terrible the school was. My only purpose to this entry is to hopefully impact parents who have their children enrolled in the school presently or in the future to by almost any means necessary withdraw your child and avoid at almost all costs sending your child to this school. Frank McNear is the new director since Micheal Desisto passed away. The school closed down in Massachusets because the office of child care services deemed the school unsafe and the school was unwilling to change it's ways and adhere to safety standards and regulations. So the school was able to bring some of their students(prisoners) to Mexico where there are no laws protecting them. the school is trying to open another school in Vermont. Hopefully, for the well being of any child who may come in contact with the school, it will not succeed in getting approval to operate in the United States and parents will be smart enough, not to send their children to a notorious child abusing school in another country, where they can do anything they want with your children. Please thoroughly research boarding schools for your kids and avoid at all costs any school having anything to do with Desisto or Frank McNear.

[Anonymous]

Me- depression, bulimia, flunking out of school.
Dad- workaholic, emotionally distant, completely overwhelmed.
Mom-mentally unstable
What to do with an emotionally troubled teen who needs to finish her highschool education? Let the bilking begin!

We visited Desisto. I was shown around a spotless environment by a girl who looked to be about 19. She told me about all the rules which seemed excessively strict.  I asked her, Have you been helped here? All she would say is that she "learned a lot". I must have asked the same question in a multitude of ways at least 5 times and I always got the same answer. What can I say? I was not good at taking a hint.

Meeting with some staff. They seemed rather cold, maybe even a little hostile towards me. Warned my dad and me that I was to be allowed no phone calls for the first 6(?) weeks. That freaked me out. I turned to my dad and said, I can call you, can't I? My dad said, Of course! Pissed off looks from staff. Good bye Desisto! Thank God!

Of course, I went to another wacky place where I wasn't abused, but I wasn't helped either. Naturally, it cost a fortune. Just an insane amount of money. Eventually I ended up at The Institute of Living, because I was now cutting, additonal to the other stuff.

While there I met several Desisto refugees that were there in the mid-80's. Eric B. was a Michael favorite; he had his favorite boys apparently. They got a lot of privileges not afforded the rest. Then out of the blue Michael turns on him. Don't recall the details, but as a result of Michael's sudden change in attitude, Eric gets defiant. Got locked in his room without food for several days, as a result. Eric freaks, gets violent. Another ran away several times, before her dad gave up and sent her somewhere else (a caring environment where they helped her). Yet another was told she was "faking" her epilepsy. By the time she got to the Institute she was a mess. Just fucked up shit.

Anyway, I'm grateful to my dad for seeing through Desisto bullshit enough to not send me there. My heart goes out to the kids who ended up there. And my heart goes out to the parents, too. I'm sure plenty of them, then and now, just don't know what to do when their kids start having emotional problems.They get bilked and the kids don't get any help.

Troubled kids don't need to hear how "bad" and "manipulative" they are. Troubled kids already feel like they are pieces of shit, anyway. Discipline without caring is WORTHLESS. If a parent is too overwhelmed to care for a troubled kid find someone or place where they will. Emphasis on CARE. I'm glad the staff at the IOL cared about me. Sure, some of them were assholes, but the majority weren't. Any facility that describes a kid as "manipulative" should be a red flag to a parent. They are dealing with the kids with the wrong attitude. All troubled PEOPLE are manipulative. They aren't getting what they NEED, so they focus on getting what they want. And it's not the point anyway. The point is: what's the problem?  Who cares? Find someone who does, if you don't.

To anyone who reads this: Thanks for letting me vent.

[Anonymous]

don't say there wasn't physical abuse. There was definitely corporal punishment in the late 70's-80. It was one slap to the face for one lie if you had turn ins. Something about dealing honestly, but trust me once you were in the situation you got slapped around for nothing. So nobody from the 90's or 2000's tell me it was a country club. I know students personally from both eras and I can match them horror story for horror story. Sure the school  and its rules changed over the years, but it all added up to a negative score no matter when you went there.



I don't use my name here because I post on the MSN site, and use this forum to have a safe place to express myself. No balls I guess. If anyone wants to email me I'll tell you who I am.



clubaccessart@yahoo.com

Maybe you were slapped hard enough to give you a faulty memory of the time period, but if you're including the late 70's then you're crazy or lying about corporal punishment or a system of slapping for lying. I graduated in '79 after being at Lake Grove for the tale end of 10th grade, a summer trip and 11th grade, and my senior year being the first year of DeSisto School's existence. The only physical stuff that went on were the limit structures and they weren't very frequent back then. Getting "Slapped around" whether for nothing or not, was something I never saw or heard about when I was there.

There was plenty I hated and plenty to complain about and criticize, which I will do when I get the time and energy. I was the biggest resistor of the system that there was in my time there, but it hardly lends credibility to legitimate criticism if you sprinkle in outright lies or bullshit.

As much as I resented being there and rejected a lot of the methods and disagreed with some of the philosophy and some of Mike's beliefs, I always felt, even when I totally didn't want to be part of it or go along with it, that Mike and almost all of the teachers and dorm parents were sincere in trying help kids and do what they felt was best for them.  

The only pause I have in saying that is what I felt, as a teenage layperson, was an over enthusiasm for medication as part of the therapy. I'm not a doctor or a therapist and didn't know the ins and outs of each kids case or exactly what doses of what drugs they were given (thorazine and lithium were the ones I was aware of and worried about), but in general I had a feeling that too many kids were on meds, just my un-authoritative sense.

I imagine that the staff, in general, just trusted the therapists that had the degrees and the authority to prescribe drugs, and in fairness I don't remember specific and definite signs that there was clearly a problem except in one case: her name is escaping me now but she was a beautiful, vibrant, and from the outside to someone that didn't know her well, seemingly pretty happy and cheerful girl. I don't know what her inner problems might have been, but I know they put her on thorazine and she became like a waxy faced lethargic zombie, a Stepford wive. I can't imagine the staff didn't notice, they must have discussed it and been assured that it was necessary, but I sure would have questioned it.  I wonder if anyone knows who I'm talking about? She was from Farmington Hills I think, but from somewhere in Michigan for sure. Kind of a strawberry blond as I remember it, fair skin, maybe slightly buck teeth? Very cute. I wonder what became of her.

[Anonymous]

The slapping stopped by 1980, and that was the year Howey opened. Believe me or don't believe me, your choice. In a dorm meeting me and two other students were slapped for turnins by three faculty members and one other very burly student. I went through the same thing on the MSN site until, a well known dorm parent verified it. That's where the expression "getting hit up for turnins" came from if anyone is at all curious. I wouldn't expect anyone to believe anything that took place at DeSisto unless they saw it themselves, because a lot of the shit that went on is unbelievable even to DeSistoites. I know the  director(Sean Moffat) who put an end to some of the more atrocious Lake Grove practices, including slapping for turnins.  If we were on the MSN site I could get on a good day get at least three or four people to back up everything I have said.  The truth is out there about the DeSisto School and its history, but students and parents are still going to supress their memories, and believe whatever they want to.

I remember Sean Moffat (is that really the spelling?), he was a dorm parent or teacher or both when I was there, not a director of anything. I'd love to hear that from his mouth. Maybe it was a dorm by dorm thing and it didn't happen in my dorms and nobody from the other dorms talked about it? I seriously doubt that. If it was happening it must have stopped before the last 6 weeks of the '77 school year not 1980.

[Anonymous]

A leash was nothing but staying in arms distance with a fellow student, it happened when you were in trouble. Or maybe they thought you might run. Was not fun, but not abuse.

The next poster replied that that was the stupidest thing he ever heard, well maybe leashing became something else later, but in my two plus years that exactly what a leash was. If you were drinking, or drugging, had run away or something else considered fairly major and they didn't feel that you had really "dealt" with it or "worked through it" and didn't trust that you weren't about to do it again then you were put on a leash, having to have someone with you if you weren't in class or the dorm for usually a short period of time until you convinced people you had, or were, honestly dealing with the supposed emotional issues that caused you to "act out." It was generally a group decision as I remember it, and while it may have been bullshit in some sense and in some cases, no, it wasn't anywhere near the level of "abuse," physical or psychological. Get fucking real! I have no idea what "cornering" was so I can't compare it.

[Anonymous]

i read that Desisto was forced to close after a student swallowed razer blades and wasnt taken to the hospital for quite a while.



People report different experiences becasue their experiences were different. It was a "lord of the flies" experience. The strong emotionally integrated kids ganged up on the weaker kids. The people who were strong only suffered the physical deprivations which were tough but not genuinely terrible. While the kids who were marked for bullying lived in a horror land where they would clean all day and then get screamed at by about 19 kids their age about what discusting horrible worthless people they were.



I figured out the key to this "diverging experience" issue by reading the post of one of my contemporaries Heather. She came to my house with 1 other girl and 5 other men and dragged me into a van. She was the biggest bully there. I remember her ordering around the younger girls (she looked about 21) with such gusto. She "silenced" another girl and then would announce she was kidding the girl would speak and Heather would yell at her and "silence" her again. SHe really got off on confronting people. Anyway, she looks back at this time fondly because like a nazi who enjoyed ordering around jews she enjoyed ordering around and having complete poewer over other kids. Power is something people are really attracted to and some people really relish it when they get it.

The place obviously changed so much and so much for the worse over the years. The things you describe are like night and day from the school I went to (late Lake Grove/early Desisto). So many different concepts and rules, new boys, regular boys, levels, intensives, living at the mansion, sheeting, farms, punching, organized bullying, confined or starved for long periods etc. etc. .... wow, none of that shit went on in my day.

[Anonymous]

A leash was nothing but staying in arms distance with a fellow student, it happened when you were in trouble. Or maybe they thought you might run. Was not fun, but not abuse.

The next poster replied that that was the stupidest thing he ever heard, well maybe leashing became something else later, but in my two plus years that exactly what a leash was. If you were drinking, or drugging, had run away or something else considered fairly major and they didn't feel that you had really "dealt" with it or "worked through it" and didn't trust that you weren't about to do it again then you were put on a leash, having to have someone with you if you weren't in class or the dorm for usually a short period of time until you convinced people you had, or were, honestly dealing with the supposed emotional issues that caused you to "act out." It was generally a group decision as I remember it, and while it may have been bullshit in some sense and in some cases, no, it wasn't anywhere near the level of "abuse," physical or psychological. Get fucking real! I have no idea what "cornering" was so I can't compare it.

 

 I realize in reading your response you have no idea what physical abuse is. I was leashed and I can tell you it is physical  legally, morally, and psychologically abusive. First of all, "people" -by which you mean my fellow supposed child-lunatic-inmates -had no buisness "deciding I wasnt dealing with my emotional issues". Then, on on the basis of their 12- 21 year old lunatic-findings keep me in retraint.  They have no more right to do this than does any other inmate in mental institution, or any other citizen at all as I am not COMMUNITY PROPERTY.
   Further, tackling me, sitting on me, and beating me if I try to resist their restraint  is also abuse-legally.  I know of many beatings delivered in the process of "restraint". Ya know- the beatings that will always occur when you force 12-21"lunatics"   to restrain another child who is "bad", which makes abusing them is "good". I was kept in this condition for 6 MONTHS because according to "people" - I didnt CLEAN DESISTOS' TOILETS, BASEMENT, FURNITURE AND SHOVEL SNOW hard enough-making me untrustorthy!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 .Human beings are not meant to reduced to property of not just Micheal Desisto but his supposed lunatic inmates.
There  are  extensive physcological rerprocussions of being exposed to this form of physical/pyschological torment.
Constant restraint  is terrifying debasing, claustrophbic and violating. It is so effective in destroying minds that it is the primary tool of cults for mental breakdown They use it on ADULT victems who CONSENT to this mistreatment.

   There are serious reprocussions of being in a situation where you are not just imprisoned within an institution, but on the very spot you stand. It dismantles on a subconcsious level the instict for movement, kinetic sensitivity, and play we have since infancy. Even as todlers we can move 10 feet without permision and 2 nastry guards  holding one or both  our arms. This induces "learned helplessness" and a bizare level of passivity. We can become unable to remove ourselves from dangerous situations, or engage with the world in a lucid, autonomous fashion. (among other issues)You know, exactly what this abuse is designed to do!!
 
    In fact being preventled to leave Desisto whatsoever  is physically abusive. I dont recall him purchasing me in the market in Alabama in 1801. This in itself has significant and potentially obliterating psychological implications
   I am a person who has dealt with "simple" physical abuse. My parents broke my fingers and my hand twice . I can say Desisto style leashing is far more dehumanizing and destructive than simple physical abuse. (as the creepy term "leashing" implies)

[Anonymous]

I was a student at DeSisto in the 80s and I can say that physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse ran rampant there on a daily basis, not only from the staff and faculty but between students as well. When instances of abuse between students were brought to light the staff and faculty spent a lot of time talking about it but nothing was actually done to stop it in any way.

[Anonymous]

Last i heard, in June, they shipped off the last dozen or so students to San Miguel Mexico. I can't find any google searches for a Cold Spring School in Florida.

The Cold Spring Academy permanently closed in 2005.

[Anonymous]

Many years ago, I read of the case of a Heather Burdick who ran away from Desisto and a judge ordered her returned there.  Her friends were trying to get her out.  Does anyone know the whole story on that?

[Anonymous]

Why don't they just "DESISTO" with that bullshit?  :rofl:

[Deborah]

Many years ago, I read of the case of a Heather Burdick who ran away from Desisto and a judge ordered her returned there.  Her friends were trying to get her out.  Does anyone know the whole story on that?

http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.ph ... dick#58123

[psy]

The only info I can add about the DeSisto school is an experience I had about 3 years ago. My dad is a diplomat and, about mid-way into my "downward spiral", the federal State Department's educational consultant was pushing hard to get me in a CEDU-type program.

whoa whoa whoa... that State Dept. Educational Conslutant wouldn't be Anne Weiss would it?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that this site exists.  I went to DeSisto in the summer of 96 or 97.  I absolutely hated it.  I ran away twice and the last time I was put away in foster care in NY. I was so happy that I never had to go back there that I didn't care where I went.  Don't worry everything was temporary and things worked out fine.  But back to the bad experiences at DeSisto.

I remember force feeding an anorexic girl.  I remember always being arms length apart at all times. Literally eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom.  Then the whole fuck rule and how it cost a dollar everytime you said fuck.  I remember them boarding up the doors and the windows (major fire code violation) when we would go to sleep just in case anyone ran away.  I was trusted (before the first runaway) so I was sleeping at the door to block it.  This double hand-held anorexic girl that we had earlier force fed had somehow gotten a hold of scissors.  She woke everyone up and said that she wanted to have a meeting, she then said that she was going to slit the girl at the door's throat so she could leave this place.  After that, all I wanted to do was leave.  I hitchhicked twice and to this day I do not regret it.