Hi, My phone call with my son was moved to today (from Monday). This was "hands down" our best phone call to date. My son made it to the next level (Maverick). He claimed it was no big deal, but I made sure he knew it was a big deal to me. He seemed to understand this. I was very impressed not only with how the therapist talked with us, but also with my son. He wants me to send some music (I can donate CD's to the ranch as long as they don't have curse words, or violent or sexual references). He wants me to send him some CD's by "Massive Attack" and "The Mars Volta." If there are any musically inclined people out there----do you think these will be approved? We talked about my visit in October and he seemed very excited about it. He asked about his friends at home (this is where he got quite emotional as he feels he treated some of his friends very poorly and he wants to make amends). The therapist has OK'd for him to write some letters to his friends.
With all that being said, it is obvious he still doesn't want to be there. I am formulating my next move. During my visit, I am not going to make any deals with him (I'm sure he is going to ask to come home). Instead, I am going to listen to all he has to say and then let him know that I want him to put his best foot forward, try hard in his academics, and listen to the advice he is being given and then act on it. I will assure him that I have heard what he has to say and will continue to evaluate this whole experience every day. I will tell him that I will bring him home when I feel the time is right. I am hoping that I will continue to see improvement, and then I will decide when is the best time to bring him home.
I'm sure there are more than a few of you that think my biggest mistake was sending him in the first place (I'm not discounting your opinions, and I still can't claim whether or not it was the right one), but I think I can make an even bigger mistake (now) if I bring him home before it is time and without a good game plan. I am including him in this process. I have talked to him about where he wants to go to school. He is the one who has brouht up rules for our household (I'm sure his therapist has been the one to encourage this discussion). If I think for a second that The Aspen Ranch isn't for my son, I will pull him.
If anyone has any thoughts on any of this, please respond. I'm sure I will hear from those of you who think I work for the ranch, or I am in cahoots with "The Who". But for those of you who are trying to give me constructive advice, I thank you very much. If you feel I am screwing up with any of the above, let me know (like I had to ask). Thanks!