In reply to the original post, one of my friends in the program is no longer with us, he chose to take his own life instead. I also have a few friends that are considered successful by program standards (a few were even on staff) that cutting on themselves is a form of relief. There is also the standard drug use. For me, I talk about it to close friends about it, write about it, post here occasionally (read fornits ALOT), and stew about it in my mind. On a day to day, I just generally try not to think about it, to get on with my life and put that behind me, but there is still a lot that I'm angry about, and have a feeling it will be that way for a long time.