In short... don't underestimate a troubled parent's stubbornness... or ignorance. It can outlast a teenager's any day, especially if there is money involved. Because of course, high price *must* equal high quality. If I'm paying this much, they must know better than I.
Absolutely right. But there is another factor that shouldn't be ignored or minimized - the brain washing of the parents. It is very real and very effective. Incredibly so.
I recently had a conversation with a couple program moms. It was a longish conversation, with plenty of program jargon being tossed out at me. (gave me the creepiest sorta flash backs) but there were a couple examples of their brainwashing that really stood out.
They tried to insist that their daughters were not coerced into attending the seminars. But of course they are - NO they say - they can opt out! One insisting: My daughter did opt out
the first time! She went on to explain that if she opted out repeatedly, eventually she would be pulled with out attending. They would only keep her there 18 months or so - no longer.
Does she know that? I asked
Of Course not! the mom exclaims.
So, I say; for all she knows, she is there for how ever long it takes to graduate. In fact, I am sure you've told her she is there until she graduates - haven't you? So, for all she knows, she has no choice but to attend the seminars if she ever wants out of there. That is coercion.
No they both insist - they can opt out. . . and so it went.
The next example upset me far more. We were discussing the inevitable "deadorinjail" issue. That got thrown at me with some force - they'd both be deadorinjail with out the program. So, I tried to get them to acknowledge that death wasn't nearly as certain as they believed. They countered with their daughters had written them admitting they'd have been deadorinjail with out the program. But they've experienced the same thought reform you have, I tried to explain. I pointed out the general recklessness of the teen years and the thankfully low teen death statistics as some indication that their daughters were not nearly as sure to die as they had been conditioned to believe.
They then countered with how awful jail was - and jail was more a certainty.
OK - maybe - but they'd be safer in jail, I respond. This brought howls of protest.
What about the abuse? asked one.
What do you mean? I asked. What kind of abuse are you talking about, that you don't think happens every day in the programs?
Sexual! gets slammed at me, again, with some force.
You don't think that the kids are sexually assaulted in the programs? I asked. Your sadly most mistaken.
Who tells you this? they ask - the girls?!
Well yes - the kids do - who else. . .
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, they respond, And you Believe them?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(sick sinking feeling)
Yes I said, I do believe them. And I have to say, I hate to think you wouldn't. I hate to think, should your daughter muster up the courage to tell you she was a victim of sexual assault or harassment, that you would laugh in her face and send her back to her abuser.
The call was ended rather abruptly at that point. I did believe them, that they had an appointment to keep, but I was frustrated that the conversation ended there. I did offer to send them web links to further information but they declined the offer.
Now - the thing is - no clear thinking right minded person would respond the way those two women did. They were parroting the program crap and pabulum, like all good program parents do. They can't help it. They have been conditioned to trust the program; and ignore their own common sense. They are conditioned to value their relationship with the program more than that of their child. This is why they will insist the program is a great success, even when their kid comes out far worse than when they went in.
No rational, free thinking adult, would spend tens of thousands of dollars to educate and rehab their sons and daughters, and call it a success when they come out and shoot themselves through the head - or end up living in a card board box - drinking and drugging and screwing everything in sight. This requires a well indoctrinated program parent. And they ALL insist the program was a success in the face of such dire situations. These two ladies were no exception.
I got the same ole parroting of the program spiel: The program gave them the tools - its up to them to use their tools. Its not the programs failure if they won't use the tools they were provided. What a crock of shit. No rational person can think this way.
And in a related but reveres situation: No clear headed. rational adult would call their son or daughter a looser who must be shunned; because they refused to "graduate" the program; in spite of the fact the son or daughter is living a very successful life by every possible measure! Yet, otherwise intelligent program parents, manage this mindless idiocy with little effort.
As I have tried to point out before: the parents are often also victims of this evil cult. Far less sympathetic victims - but victims none the less. Of course the program moms would be horrified to be called victims - b/c there is no such thing as a victim. Thinking like a victims is a weak minded response to having chosen to be robbed or raped or beat or sad or lonely or poor. . .
Another way the program keeps them (grads and parents) in line. They can't complain about being victimized, because they have been conditioned to hate and fear the "victim mind set".
The brainwashing is the key. If we could get the masses educated with regard to what mind control is - how and why it works - we could stop all these programs dead cold.
