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Author Topic: Intimacy and dissociation  (Read 10047 times)

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Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2006, 01:08:55 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/main.shtml


Just because someone has dissociation issues during sex doesn't make them a borderline personality case.
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2006, 01:30:49 PM »
True enough.  But the ability to "feel one's feelings" is an integral part of a healthy personality.
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2006, 01:41:46 PM »
What is a "healthy personality" or a "borderline personality" or even a "disordered personality"? We are all individuals and different in our own ways. Why the rush to box everybody in and make everyone the same?
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2006, 02:46:37 PM »
No one is trying to box anybody in or put any labels on them.

Fact is there is such a thing as a disordered personality.

Problems with intimacy and disassociation are not in and of themselves indicative of a personality disorder.  But neither should they be dismissed.

BPD central has load of info on personality disorders which I found very interesting, not threatening or offensive in the least.  This is a bonafide emotional/mental health issue that requires professional treatment not being tossed into a BM warehouse or so-called "emotional growth" school.  There is a specific kind of therapy that appears to be very promising for BP's.  Perhaps someone might find this website helpful if they are in a relationship with a BP?  That's how I learned all about this stuff.  Anyway, just wanted to be helpful, that's all.  I am not a judgmental kinda person, I think everyone is unique and special in their own way.
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Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #19 on: December 30, 2006, 03:12:22 PM »
I understand that, but this thread isn't about personality disorders. It's about sexual dysfunction among survivors. Can people develop borderline personality disorder from a program? Possibly. But BPD is so vague and vast in its diagnosis (trust me, I've talked extensively with my shrink about this) that I think that it's beyond the scope of what I am trying to discuss here.

The thing I'm trying to stick to here is sex/intimacy after being in a program.

I know, far be it for be to be a nazi about a thread topic. Lord knows I've derailed many, but the personality disorder discussion is just so HUGE, and I think we've got enough to talk about just dealing with the immediate issue.
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #20 on: December 30, 2006, 04:17:44 PM »
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Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #21 on: December 30, 2006, 05:43:24 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
from a while back..
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=12967


Thanks for that link, anon.

Brought up some interesting thoughts on my end.

I feel that Julie hit it on the head. It's a boundary and control issue. Similar to what happens with rape victims. And that, unfortunately, it probably won't simply go away by itself. I keep telling myself that I simply haven't found the right person to "give it up" to. But I've had lots of partners, and the only common denominator so far is myself, so obviously, it's not about finding the right person at all, because I've found quite a few people!
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Offline Nihilanthic

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #22 on: December 30, 2006, 09:15:46 PM »
:o Fornits psychotherapy?

Damn I've seen it all... what did I wake up to??

And yeah, coming from the 'other' point of view... Ive always had people wanting so desperately to feel intimate but also safe at the same time, and go figure smacking them around, saying humiliating words or 'controlling' them is one way they feel that way.

What a screwed up animal we are. Though I must say malicious hitting and a controlled slap on the ass are far cries from eachother. And don't even bring up "spanking" as a way of punishing children either. Ugh, sick.

I do know that personally I get to get over my own issues of trust and giving up control when someone else hands me the reigns, and it definitely acts as a social lubricant in the sense that nobody has any question of what to do, its all sort of laid out in one way or another.

Not that I mind vanilla sex at all. Hell no. Just sometimes I feel like making someone boil over instead of just simmer. That and youve never had someone snuggle you until they just got mind-fucked in the good way for a hour or so, damn near pass out when they got off, and then get a little chilly from sweating so much  :)

But yeah, Ive never had the whole kinky bdsm thing seperate from sex except once, and thats because she never asked to get roughly handled, talked dirty or or smacked until after we did it and she didn't get all she wanted. I definitely enjoyed making her happy, I didn't get off on it in terms of getting to control and humiliate someone. I dont think it really counts as either if they want it and ask for it and get a shit eating grin from it... but in my mind that was just another way to please her.

I dont want to control or do things to people for the sake of doing so, its only because people want it and I enjoy giving it, yanno?
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DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline try another castle

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #23 on: December 31, 2006, 01:52:15 AM »
Right. Well, when it's consenting adults, it's fun.
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Offline 69

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2007, 04:34:26 AM »
Quote from: ""TS Waygookin""
All that smushing couldn't have been good for you.


 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:
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Offline Anonymous

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Good stories - but stay near a toilet because...
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2007, 05:36:05 PM »
you are going to throw up!

Quote from: ""Nihilanthic""
I'm a fucking DOM now, and a good one at that.



Then you will like this stories:

http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Jens ... nished.txt


http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Jens ... cation.txt

http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Jens ... anners.txt

And the chapters from "Amsterdam March 2001" in

http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Jens ... eSmell.txt
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2007, 05:53:26 PM »
That's nothing. You'd puke if you saw where I got Luke from.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #27 on: January 11, 2007, 06:55:44 AM »
I always wondered why people seem to fantasize about the very thing we're out to stop when they have a fetish for control, etc...

... but then deny that this actually happens when told about it.

Its like people know, but they don't. Or, control freaks and sadists just fantasize about this anyway and *gasp* ITS REAL.

Also, yeah, much worse is out there. And no I dont get off on abuse or non-con... bleh.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #28 on: January 12, 2007, 08:43:04 AM »
Whats so funny is that I thought that was a real survivors account until they get up to the part about the corset.I was thinking oh that poor girl- how can they do this to us

..(theres no way Jay Kay would spend the money necessary to buy a high quality corset like that)

though he did say( I paraphase)
"sex between staff and the girls issnt necessarily abuse ....these arent your collegiate prep school types
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Offline Anonymous

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Intimacy and dissociation
« Reply #29 on: January 12, 2007, 09:48:07 AM »
Cab somebody please post that porno about tranquilty bay on every stuggling teen website out there.

There is no better description of program-- the sort of mentality that parents have to lend themselves to, that the "counselors" have and the abasement of the kids then that.
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