Author Topic: What A Long Strange Program It's Been (Read 17332 times)

Anonymous · « **Reply #90 on:** August 09, 2006, 01:08:04 PM »

I understand what you're saying but respectfully disagree. I think (and I guess I'm not alone) that he DOES mean that pretty literally. When you take that statement in context with the majority of his other posts here I think it DOES read the way I"m seeing it. I could be wrong, but it's my opinion. He seems fixated on how Riddile wasn't so bad, he went on staff to make Straight a decent, sane place (as if it ever could be), how everyone treated him so poorly (they did, no argument here but shit, all of us got the shaft in one way or another, a lot of us before, during and after the program) and on and on. He beats us over the head with how bad his program was, how long it was (many others were in much longer than him), what a hippy guru he was, the kids rioted when he left staff but he wasn't really on staff, everyone fucked with him afterwards and it just wears a little thin after a while.

Hip, I do wish you well. I have no hard feelings for you. I think you're deluding yourself on many levels but hopefully you'll come out of the fog soon.

Anonymous · « **Reply #91 on:** August 09, 2006, 01:15:54 PM »

Straight was never a real mental health/addiction recovery institution, it was never run or staffed like one. It was run as a cult. They had to get kids off their phases.

who in the real world or off thier phases 3 1/2 yrs would view what happened to them in a good light? no one! and they weren't controlable either.......this is why i believe i was fired from there.......i would've never sent 5 guys in to beat up or exersize someone in the time out room!....but someone right off thier phases still in the str8 phaser mindset would w/o batting an eye........to them it was a "miracle" therapy....an they were elite,all awareness ,groomed for staff etc ppl........thier ego's were way out of whack..........anyone want to argue that dean minstretta didn't have an ego problem? jim sailor? joey glaze?......thats why mel riddle asked me to go on staff....he swore to me that things were changing....he wanted to replace the group staff with ppl that had real sobriety time......i had 3 1/2 yrs out of str8........dean and sylvia didn't want me around because i wasn't going to do thier bidding for them....i questioned thier authority quite a few times and even called Mel Riddle and told them what they were doing to me......after that,they were very very pist at me.......the rest is history........a yr later Mel got in a fist fight with one of the "newtonite" upper staff from the head quarters and resigned.......well,i'll be around.....i'm not mad at anyone on here.....mark and i and starry and i worked out our differences......no biggie......lol...lol...luv ya.....{i had to say it}.....hippie

Anonymous · « **Reply #92 on:** August 09, 2006, 01:23:40 PM »

Quote from: ""stillahippie564""

who in the real world or off thier phases 3 1/2 yrs would view what happened to them in a good light?

Who the hell would go on staff 3 1/2 years after getting out?

Quote

no one! and they weren't controlable either.......this is why i believe i was fired from there.......i would've never sent 5 guys in to beat up or exersize someone in the time out room!....but someone right off thier phases still in the str8 phaser mindset would w/o batting an eye........to them it was a "miracle" therapy....an they were elite,all awareness ,groomed for staff etc ppl........thier ego's were way out of whack..........anyone want to argue that dean minstretta didn't have an ego problem? jim sailor? joey glaze?......thats why mel riddle asked me to go on staff....he swore to me that things were changing....he wanted to replace the group staff with ppl that had real sobriety time......i had 3 1/2 yrs out of str8........dean and sylvia didn't want me around because i wasn't going to do thier bidding for them....i questioned thier authority quite a few times and even called Mel Riddle and told them what they were doing to me......after that,they were very very pist at me.......the rest is history........a yr later Mel got in a fist fight with one of the "newtonite" upper staff from the head quarters and resigned.......well,i'll be around.....i'm not mad at anyone on here.....mark and i and starry and i worked out our differences......no biggie......lol...lol...luv ya.....{i had to say it}.....hippie

Yes, we get it. You were treated in a way that no one should be. Seriously, I totally agree. No one is questioning that, but it's not as unique as you want to believe. You seem to want to keep pounding away that Mel and you were there to save everyone. I think THAT is what people are having a hard time with. Mel was just as complicit as anyone else. The "gram" (god that irritates me, I don't know why) was fucked FROM THE GODDAMN GET GO. There was never and is not any way to "improve" what is sadistic and screwed from the beginning.

Anonymous · « **Reply #93 on:** August 09, 2006, 02:41:26 PM »

Quote from: ""Guest""

:

I'd rather do shrooms with Pirate, but that's just me

:tup:

Anonymous · « **Reply #94 on:** August 10, 2006, 03:07:45 AM »

i was told the place was going to change radically and they wanted my help.....i thought it was worth a try.....i was way wrong man...so was Mel......thats all....yes there were ppl in/on my phases treated way worse than i was.........i never said there wasn't........comparing mel riddle with miller newton,you're right,i don't think mel was that bad.....i never saw him throw anyone to the floor,yell and scream at someone till they cracked up,sent ppl to the time out room etc......as far as him supporting what the group staff were doing in there was bullshit......he wasn't in there enough to know what was going on all the time.......and we weren't allowed to just go up and talk to him because of the fucking chain of command.......he was wrong in many ways,like everyone else that was involved in straight.......but i don't think he was the monster miller was ever..........i just don't....thats my opinion......i never said i was a hippie guru,but if thats how you percieve me,thanks man.......look,i look at everything objectivly....a lot of times i try to take my feelings out of it and write from the heart.....i fucking hated that place as much anyone on here........i was a fool to think or believe i could honestly help change the place.........you're right,it wasn't possible and i paid dearly for it........do i think i'm better than anyone on here or think i had it worse than anyone,hell no.......thats not the message i was trying to convey at all......but when one only types with one finger,{like me} i tend to just want to get my post up as quick as i can......and my words get misunderstood....not to mention that a letter is never as good as a conversation.......all you can go by is what i wrote on the post,so for that,i'm sorry{again}.........i'm not perfect man,i never said i was either........but i don't hide behind a "guest" name either,so i'm easy to critisise........easy to fuck with too.........oh well wtf can i do about that? not much........hippie

Anonymous · « **Reply #95 on:** August 10, 2006, 04:53:32 AM »

let me say this.....was mel wrong for buying the way straight dealt with ppl in there? yes YES he was.......it was a bad thing for any professional that came down the pike to do......but i'm wise enough to see how that happened.....you see,MILLER only showed him or anyone else what he wanted them to see......just like our parents! he was CONNED just like our parents too........i just don't hold him to the level i hold Miller at.....Miller knew EVERYTHING ! nothing that went on in St.Pete did Miller not know.....it was his character personality......in the time i was in there,i saw Miller come in just to ream someone.....this would be early in the morning etc.....he went out of his way to do so........i'll bet he dropped a lot of other things that needed done just to do so......everytime i saw that guy my ass would pucker......anytime he was in the group room,you knew someones head was going to roll......i never felt that way around mel......i just didn't.......why did i go on staff {even if it was just 5 weeks of bullshit}
after 3 1/2 yrs? because i couldn't hold a job or function in the world.....between my hearing loss and the damage i recieved in that fucking place,i was disfunctional.....all in the world i wanted to do was be SOMETHING more than a huck........i tried college,but that was more sitting in a blue chair for me......i couldn't hear an alarm clock , so i got fired and confronted by my bosses a lot....sometimes i wouldn't even go to work if i was even a few minutes late or to avoid confrontation,i would just look for a new job........when i was told/convinced that that place was going to change radically and they wanted ppl with real out of the program sobriety time,i thought "shit,this is my chance to show them the real problems with that place.........show them what doesn't / didn't work.........." i was under the impression that everyone up there in boston was in agreeance with that.......thats why i went up there with my head up my ass.......i had no idea that dean minstretta and sylvia koulker had no intentions of changing shit......i also had no idea that they were going to shaft me as soon as i came up....i had no idea they had something against me....shit the crap that happened to me up in boston after i was fired,i had no idea was perpetrated by straight.....i just thought i had really bad luck........it wasn't until 6 months or so that i realised or should i say,that the truth was told to me.........call me ignorant...call me a fool......whatever......i'm just a dumb abused phaser that got more of the same 6 +yrs later.........do i hate those ppl or have anything against them.....?....yes i have an axe to gring with 2 ppl up in boston......after what i was put through,who wouldn't? do i have anything for mel? no,not really......i've been trying to see him and plan this week and next week to talk to him...i want him to know what happened to me up there or should i say,what really happened to me up there....for my own closure and sanity,i need to do this....if i find out that he did know what happened to me or told them to trash me,yes i'll have an axe to grind with him.......yeah,i'm pissed that he talked me into going up there......but i'm not mad at him...at least not right now...am i mad at Miller? hell yes i am....i'm mad at him for ppl i don't even know about that he harmed...look at all of us.....he personally harmed 150,000+ ppl,but think of all the straights there were...the "template for straight" he left behind,hurt many many more ppl than even he knows about,let alone what we can imagine!....joey glaze? jim sailor?....hell yes...they hurt ppl for nothing.....they got off on thier power..........other staff?.....not really......most of them got conned......i believe a great deal of them really thought they were helping ppl out.......or should i say,really wanted to help ppl.......all of us are responsible for something in there.....that was the fucking way it was in there.....some of us took a lot more crap than others,for some reason staff and the group took thier aggressions out on them.........they were scapegoated....i fit in that catagory....i don't hate anyone......not really........in the end i forgave Paul Meyer for his hand in what happened to me up there in boston......i just can't hold a grudge towards him.....its just too stressful for me.....i can't handle stress anymore.......i find it easier to like someone than to hate them......i wrote back and forth to mark and i talked to starry on the phone today and i feel that we worked out our differences.....in the end,thats all that counts.......you know,i care about everyone on this or any other straight site.....you guys are my brothers and sisters......i can't turn my back on you no matter how mad i might be at any of you at the moment...its just the way i am,i can't seem to help it...i know i'm controversal.....for some fucked up reason,i always have been..i can't help that either...thats the story of my life man.......i hope this dispells some of the misinterpetations about me for any of you.....sorry this was a long letter......hippie

Anonymous · « **Reply #96 on:** August 10, 2006, 05:11:59 AM »

Very well said. I think this should alleviate a lot of the confusion.

Anonymous · « **Reply #97 on:** August 10, 2006, 07:17:19 AM »

I don't put Riddile on the same level as Newton. No one was as sadistic as he was but I think you've really got a blind spot where Riddile is concerned. He knew everything that went on. He may not have actually dished out the beatings or even been in the room but there is no fucking way he didn't know what was going on. Fuck, you could hear the screams throughout the building. He knew kids were being extremely sleep deprived. He knew food was being withheld or limited as punishment. He knew about the forced confessions and confrontation and marathoning. He knew about the control through fear atmosphere, the arbitrary phase drops, kids having power (incredible power) over other kids subjecting them to the moods and whims of people that were themselves being abused.

You seem like decent enough guy but IMO you're sticking your head in the sand on this issue. You had a relationship with the guy so it's not hard to understand why you wouldn't want to admit that someone you respected wasn't all that you thought they were.

Anonymous · « **Reply #98 on:** August 10, 2006, 08:18:13 AM »

Quote from: ""Guest""

Quote from: ""Guest""
:

I'd rather do shrooms with Pirate, but that's just me

:tup:

I'd rather mainline hard shit with, well, maybe by myself.........

Anonymous · « **Reply #99 on:** August 10, 2006, 08:53:36 AM »

Quote from: ""Guest""

Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote from: ""Guest""
:

I'd rather do shrooms with Pirate, but that's just me

:tup:

I'd rather mainline hard shit with, well, maybe by myself.........

You ever boot coke? I did a few times when I was 20 with some people I was hanging out with.. they gace it to me. After I did it, I couldn't shut up to save my life! I started reciting butthole surfers lyrics which annoyed the shit out of everyone else there.

Anonymous · « **Reply #100 on:** August 10, 2006, 08:54:13 AM »

You ever boot coke? I did a few times when I was 20 with some people I was hanging out with.. they gave it to me. After I did it, I couldn't shut up to save my life! I started reciting butthole surfers lyrics which annoyed the shit out of everyone else there.

Anonymous · « **Reply #101 on:** August 10, 2006, 03:40:59 PM »

I couldn't shut up to save my life! I started reciting butthole surfers lyrics which annoyed the shit out of everyone else there.

if thats what happens when a person shoots it up,i'd have been shot immediatly......i'm like that sometimes and NO coke was needed.....lol....hippie

Anonymous · « **Reply #102 on:** August 10, 2006, 03:44:42 PM »

Quote from: ""stillahippie564""

if thats what happens when a person shoots it up,i'd have been shot immediatly......i'm like that sometimes and NO coke was needed.....lol....hippie

:rofl:

Anonymous · « **Reply #103 on:** August 10, 2006, 04:17:34 PM »

You seem like decent enough guy but IMO you're sticking your head in the sand on this issue. You had a relationship with the guy so it's not hard to understand why you wouldn't want to admit that someone you respected wasn't all that you thought they were

i knew Mel way before str8......he was my truant officer and student administrator......he was always a "by the book" guy....he was never a cruel person and he really did want to help ppl.....i never hated him back then,even though he busted me for skipping class etc......you're right,i did respect him.........as far as what happened in straight,anyone who took a job there is percieved as an abuser......anyone who was there did abuse to some degree.....i believe that he took a job there thinking that he was getting in on the ground floor of something great.....it backfired in his face
and eventually ruined him for a good while......yes he was responsible for everything that went on there,but that was hard to know or moniter all the time,unless you were there personally>like Miller......less than a yr after taking the job in virginia,Mel became in charge of all Straights......he was hardly in his office let alone every straight........because of the way straight was run,most things never reached his office desk.......they got swept under the rug way before it ever got near him.......wrong? yes.......do i blame him? yes....but i'm wise enough to know that it was out of his control.......he was counting on 8 directors to inform him etc.....a lot of things happened under his nose.......put it this way,is a DEAN of a big college responsible for everything that happens in that college? all the rapes,all the drug dealings,all the stealing,all the fights and everything else that happens in that college? no>but it falls on him because he is the DEAN....ultimatly he has to answer for it........you're right,Mel should've known everything,but he didn't.....what he did know? he's guilty......i'm not here telling any of you that he's innocent.......he's guilty as charged........but i know in my heart{because i knew him} that he was a far far cry from Miller........Miller was guilty because Miller CREATED a lot of the ways ,if not most of the ways ,that place ran! he got off on hurting us.....he enjoyed it.......he went way out of his way to come in and screw us.....shit,he'd come in on a sunday afternoon just to hammer a split for the day.......that man never came in for the sheer enjoyment of actually helping us.......!Mel wasn't like that......if it seems like i'm defending Mels actions,thats why.........do i hold him responsible? yes i do.......but honestly,i'm comparing the 2 ppl...thats all......he was wrong,but in a different way....i hope this makes sense to you guys......anyone that was a director or executive staff in there could've stopped it or quit.....i believe many thought they could change it and stayed on......i know the director of boston was the same way as Mel.....but his second in command and Dean minstretta were not....they did everything to me behind his back w/o his knowledge......screwed my life up "old straight" style and acted like they were going along with him.........is that his fault?yes because he should've known,but no because they made sure he didn't know and acted like it wasn't personal and they were doing his bidding.......oh well,i'm just rambling now......hip

teachback · « **Reply #104 on:** August 10, 2006, 05:32:05 PM »

Quote from: ""stillahippie564""

but honestly,i'm comparing the 2 ppl...thats all......he was wrong,but in a different way....i hope this makes sense to you guys......anyone that was a director or executive staff in there could've stopped it or quit.....i believe many thought they could change it and stayed on......

Got it.

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