What A Long Strange Program It's Been

[starry-eyed pirate]

The person who suggested Hippie punch Pirate was not threatening physical violence. No threat from that person, just a suggestion to Hippie. If someone did that to you in person, you might want to clock their lights irregardless of the light-revealing qualities of the mocking they were doing of you.

Just for a minute, consider the possibility that what you are writing and saying reminds people of Straight just as much as what someone else is writing or how they are saying it or what they are saying to you reminds you of Straight.

I agree with the other person(s) here about the first post being abusive.

I think people feel very very justified in being angry at and subsequently abusive to other posters, esp. w/ respect to how much like a staff member they ever were or are or what they say on the board that reminds them too much of Straight, like those survivors who are just starting to think about it again, who may really be "clueless", not seeing what their real role was in Straight, then there's the survivors suffering PTSD real bad, etc. I'm just taking an expansive view here. Isn't that one of the hardest things about getting healed from child abuse? We were told it was out of love, that it wasn't that bad, etc., so anything that starts getting felt about that experience is still run through the "you're whining and complaining" routine in the brain. It is not easy for survivors to face is their own participation in a hate group. People are at all different stages of "seeing the light" about Straight, about this and that, there is a bigger life too and Hippie raising money for kids means he has a big heart, whereas you can get all over Straight and still be the sort of person to make a mockery of someone just because you take them a certain way, or take them personally, or take them to be specifically insulting you rather than just saying what their own historical experience was. If Matt spent that long at Straight, there is a complicated thing going on there with the cult, with his perceived mission etc.

Am I completely being dense, or is mocking someone antithetical to showing them compassion?

You make several good points.  Oh! sorry about the use of the term:"good points".  I don't mean to traumatize anyone, by reminding them of $tr8, or anything, but if I were to alter my words in any way it would only be a reaction to $tr8 Inc. anyway.    

As I said before, I don't mean to hurt anyone, maybe I'm bein' too rough.

I think whether or not making a mockery of someone is antithetical to having compassion for them depends on the intention behind the action; the mockery.  I don't mean no harm to Hip or no-one.

[Anonymous]

my god man.....everything you said is true starry.....i was just pointing out one thing.....hell i even read it to ginger before i sent it....i guess i can't please anyone on here......my desires to be on staff were bogus man......i wanted to be a counselor.....i was employed elsewhere and asked to go on by mel riddle......i was told things were changing....oh yeah,they changed.....bend over hippie....huuuuuuuaaaaaggghhhhh......yep they changed alright......fuck it,i give up....i can't win....hippie

[Anonymous]

.....i was plotting out plans to avenge the wrongs done to me.....shit i even had adresses to 3 paticular ppl ......hippie

This is a little disturbing.

Not really... I'd hate to see hippie go to jail over something like that, BUT.....

More like the morgue, dude.  Woulda been his funeral and my trial.  I happen to have reason to believe he was gonna start some shit with me,  I live in a state that recognizes the right of citizens to use deadly force not only out of fear for their life, safety, or property,  but even for simply being threatened by someone who seems to be capable of carrying out said threat, and I happen to have several loaded firearms within reach at most times when I am home, and often carry them with me to the door when unexpected visitors show up. Not that I'm looking for anything like that, at all, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna let some enraged nut case that I don't even know attempt to harm me or mine in my home.  I would've fucking killed the dude,  stone cold truth.  I have shot a man before in self-defense, did not kill him (much smaller caliber weapon than I own now) , I'm not proud of it anymore than I am of fixing a flat tire, it was just something that needed to be done.  The fact that he mentioned his intentions to SEVERAL  people who could attest to the fact that he intended violence woulda been a get out of jail free card.  I think it is indicative of a fucked up mind set to intend to travel to someone's home and do violence to them over something that was said to or about them on a website.  Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY on here has been trashed on this site, some a hell of a lot worse than what was originally posted mocking Hippy.  My "awareness" tells me that Hippy was trying to act in some form of displaced aggression---he has talked about other fucked up things that happened to him recentrly outside of here--and he's still relatively new to these forums (sorry Eudora, we're in America, not the fucking Vatican, I ain't gonna use that other word for 'plural of forum').  I know I was pretty pissed off, then depressed (severely) for a damn long time after finding this place, it reawakened so many memories that I had successfully repressed (thank, Eudora, I needed to pick up a few more substance abuse habits, and trying to re-forget was the perfect excuse) that I was a fucking freakshow for a damn long wjhile (still am, I'm just OK with it now, hey, sometimes therapy works. And by "therapy" I mean taking drugs that should be legal but aren't) after finding these forums.  I kind of agree, maybe we should tread a lil more lightly....sometimes we forget that we are dealing with fellow survivors of an abusive institution who may still have severe lingering issues.

[Anonymous]

I.

Anyway where are you folks from that your friends aint real with ya ??

 :tup:

[Anonymous]

Hippy, I appreciate the apology, honestly I do but it just seems like you just don't get it.  It seems like you really believe, even to this day that the only real problems with Straight were screwed up staff and inexperience.  It could have been so good if only........

I'm sincerely curious about the staff issues but not in the same vein that you are.  I'm interested in what would make someone choose to go on staff.  You say that the kids rioted when you left, but then you say that you weren't really on staff.  You seem to have a soft spot in your heart for Mel RIddile, something I cannot for the life of me understand.  No he wasn't as abusive as Newton but he knew of everything that happened in there and did nothing.  You don't seem to have a problem with forced incarceration, just the guards that are doing the keeping.  I think that's what some of the posters in this thread are trying to say. I'm truly sorry if you're this upset about what people have said here.  I don't think that was the original intention.  Tempers do run high here when it comes to former staff and when one comes on and consistently hammers home that he was only trying to help and Straight could have been such a helpful place and he was the only one who really cared it sets some people's bullshit meters off in a big way.

I'm done for my part in this.  I don't hold out much hope for you truly understanding what people have been trying to say to you.  I hope you do as I think it'll bring you some measure of peace with this whole damn thing.  I wish you well.

[starry-eyed pirate]

Hip, I really hope you understand,... aint no winnin' or losin'.  Just some real criticism.  I understand that your experience in $tr8 was unique to you.  I've had no intention of invalidating your experience.  I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time.  Sorry if I've come off harshly.

[Anonymous]

.....i was plotting out plans to avenge the wrongs done to me.....shit i even had adresses to 3 paticular ppl ......hippie

This is a little disturbing.

Not really... I'd hate to see hippie go to jail over something like that, BUT.....

More like the morgue, dude.  Woulda been his funeral and my trial.  I happen to have reason to believe he was gonna start some shit with me,  I live in a state that recognizes the right of citizens to use deadly force not only out of fear for their life, safety, or property,  but even for simply being threatened by someone who seems to be capable of carrying out said threat, and I happen to have several loaded firearms within reach at most times when I am home, and often carry them with me to the door when unexpected visitors show up. Not that I'm looking for anything like that, at all, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna let some enraged nut case that I don't even know attempt to harm me or mine in my home.  I would've fucking killed the dude,  stone cold truth.  I have shot a man before in self-defense, did not kill him (much smaller caliber weapon than I own now) , I'm not proud of it anymore than I am of fixing a flat tire, it was just something that needed to be done.  The fact that he mentioned his intentions to SEVERAL  people who could attest to the fact that he intended violence woulda been a get out of jail free card.  I think it is indicative of a fucked up mind set to intend to travel to someone's home and do violence to them over something that was said to or about them on a website.  Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY on here has been trashed on this site, some a hell of a lot worse than what was originally posted mocking Hippy.  My "awareness" tells me that Hippy was trying to act in some form of displaced aggression---he has talked about other fucked up things that happened to him recentrly outside of here--and he's still relatively new to these forums (sorry Eudora, we're in America, not the fucking Vatican, I ain't gonna use that other word for 'plural of forum').  I know I was pretty pissed off, then depressed (severely) for a damn long time after finding this place, it reawakened so many memories that I had successfully repressed (thank, Eudora, I needed to pick up a few more substance abuse habits, and trying to re-forget was the perfect excuse) that I was a fucking freakshow for a damn long wjhile (still am, I'm just OK with it now, hey, sometimes therapy works. And by "therapy" I mean taking drugs that should be legal but aren't) after finding these forums.  I kind of agree, maybe we should tread a lil more lightly....sometimes we forget that we are dealing with fellow survivors of an abusive institution who may still have severe lingering issues.

I hear ya; but I know that you weren't one of the three he was referring to in that post.

[Anonymous]

If he's going after the people that fucked with him in Boston, fine but if he's thinking of hunting down people here who he thinks have been harsh in word only, not deed that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

Right.. I got ya...

[Anonymous]

I guess I should get a gun for protection because I am a known troll  although I never trolled hippie. Take your head out of the sand one more time: the moderators make incorrect guesses as well as bald-faced lies about who is posting what. It is actually pretty funny. People think I wrote all kinds of posts I didn't write. Just goes to show me, and it is an entertaining show.

I, too, would rather have a beer with stillahippie than with starry-eyedpirate. Whereas hippie tells it like it is and people other than me still suffer from reading comprehension skills, pirate is busy subverting his rage and self-hatred into trying to feel like the most righteous dude in the hemisphere while all the while ignoring that he too has said that he was actually a decent fifth phaser, etc etc. Sorry pirate, gig's up. You turned into a controller of other human beings in there too. Who are you to show hippie any kind of light? Hippie came on here and had an incredible story about real-life cult stalking and harassment done to him by Straight after he left. This is as significant to me as the snake in the mailbox Scientology incident.

[Anonymous]

I guess I should get a gun for protection because I am a known troll  although I never trolled hippie.

If you never trolled hippy then you shouldn't have anything to worry about.  He was the only one thinking violence.

 Whereas hippie tells it like it is

 :rofl:  :rofl: Yeah, like this little gem?  

the biggest character flaw str8 ever had was that the GROUP staff were ppl right off thier phases that had no real sobriety time! they were right off thier phases and on staff "helping" ppl.!!! they had no life experiences in the fucking real world....

I, too, would rather have a beer with stillahippie than with starry-eyedpirate.

I'd rather do shrooms with Pirate, but that's just me

[Anonymous]

....i guess i can't please anyone on here.........hippie

WTF are you talking about?  You've had quite a few people come on and support you.    Because not EVERYONE agrees with EVERYTHING you say, you take that as not being able to please ANYone here?  A little extreme I think.

[Anonymous]

 Whereas hippie tells it like it is

 :rofl:  :rofl: Yeah, like this little gem?  

the biggest character flaw str8 ever had was that the GROUP staff were ppl right off thier phases that had no real sobriety time! they were right off thier phases and on staff "helping" ppl.!!! they had no life experiences in the fucking real world....

See, I think that you and someone else are reading this like hippie is literally saying that he has assessed all of Straight's flaws & decided this is the biggest one, etc etc. I read it as more of a flippant intro & don't take it as literally.

Anyways, whether or not you agree, it is a point worth considering. This isn't exactly what hippie was saying, but imagine if Straight hired staff who had never been to Straight. Did they ever? Why couldn't they? A degreed or certified mental health/addiction worker should be able to more or less do what they were trained to do in any reasonable setting for the clients. I am now curious to know whether any staffers (other than exec staff) didn't go through phases or siblings. Straight was never a real mental health/addiction recovery institution, it was never run or staffed like one. It was run as a cult. They had to get kids off their phases.

[Anonymous]

no,i'm not after anyone....lol....i haven't been in a real fight since 6th grade man......i just got worked up and depressed.......all at once.......sorry about everything.......starry,mark frank.......everyone else....its cool.......i'm not a deranged anger infested person...lol  far from it...just hate being messed with like when i was in group........thats all....i had more than my share of that and still get it from ppl who were never in the "'gram"!.....hippie

[starry-eyed pirate]

... pirate is busy subverting his rage and self-hatred into trying to feel like the most righteous dude in the hemisphere while all the while ignoring that he too has said that he was actually a decent fifth phaser, etc etc. Sorry pirate, gig's up. You turned into a controller of other human beings in there too. Who are you to show hippie any kind of light?...

I don't know...who are you to show me ?? Who's anyone to show anyone, anything ??  Why should I bother ??  Why do you ??  You won't even log in so I can tell for sure what else you've said to me on this thread.  We can argue this rhetoric forever.  I don't really give a fuck about winnin' and losin'... You think whatever you want. No hard feelins.  Maybe we'll get a beer sometime... :wink: