Hey Jersey Girl just want to say sorry for biting your head off.
The last thing I would want to is be ugly to another survivor especially one who had the guts to speak out and went through as much as you did, God or good luck or your own strong spirit and brains bless and I hope you have a great life.
Zen sorry too, you did a whole lot, interviewing people and finding out info. I’m sorry to have given you grief after all you have done and been through.
I probably do sound like I’m on a soap box out off the context of my life, but to me everything I say I’ve sadly lived. I just haven’t figured out how to put it on paper yet so people get it and I don’t sound like they need to take away my megaphone.
I’m pretty frustrated as you all can probably see, and angry
I sort of have to be a door mat in my life or I get threatened badly by my family or fired.
I'm about done with it, sure I can't say anything to my family but I can find a better job.
It creates some bottled up anger I guess, I never go on chat rooms so I’m not used to them.
I think some of the stuff I wrote made me feel vulnerable and I was mad when the responses to what I wrote weren’t what I wanted.
I know too with myself sometimes when some one says something I take it more personally than it was meant, probably PTS from abuse really,
Like the Lindsey Lohan comment, that wasn’t about me really,
no offense to Lindsey but I don’t get the feeling she’s much of a writer or you know? But of course already feeling touchy and criticized I get all sarcastic and take it as an insult.
I think some of the guys on this site did that with my sexual harassment comments, like I take things out of context all the time.
All I’m saying is the abuse people have suffered makes them touchy.
Again though it wasn’t about any one on here, I was talking about the really severe sexual bullying girls and guys actually often face in high school and else where.
I’ll post stuff on here if I feel like its relevant.
I didn’t mean to bad mouth guys, I know lots of really nice great guys who tell dirty jokes and swear, they aren’t threatening and it isn’t sexual bullying? I know that the boys in programs need just as much help in dispelling prejudices about them as the girls.
I also see how some of the stuff I have said could be taken against teenage guys, a lot of them like South Park I think.
No comment on males and bathroom humor.
I only know the girls perspective.
I wasn't talking about any of the guys on here.
Again trust me PTS makes you take thing personally even when they don't really mean the same thing.
I got defensive about Abigail because I feel sorry for the girl and she’s so young really and the guy was so old, and I get sick of people looking at people with the prejudice I see else where like TV.
She’s just a person, only out of a prison camp and without much support.
She’ll probably get it together once she implodes, her working in a strip club is a really bad thing, I think.
Like she could die and I’m sure she faces even more really really bad abuse.
Strip clubs, I’ve been in one once, but I’ve met women who worked in one, two girls in one of my community college classes, one of the women I worked with at a nice up market restaurant, are really really bad and abusive too, especially for some eighteen, nineteen year old girl out of PV.
No offense but I do think people should try to be more compassionate and not just joke offhand. Everyone talks about sex and peoples sex lives all the time, but I wish everyone, myself included sometimes would look at life as it really is.
Like Abigail is really young and I think she’s being used and exploited and while I might have gossiped about it, when I look at it from the outside it seemed to promote prejudice.
But trust me I talk the same way and I shouldn’t have come in all combative just said the above nicely and I think everyone would have probably agreed on some level and things would have been more positive and constructive.
That’s it. Thanks for giving out my personal info, real happy about that, that was just low and dangerous,
oh I don't like her let's put her in danger?
Pretty damn wrong and you should feel bad.
and the Mr. Penis guy needs to look at things from someone else perspective once in a while.
I know we’re all teenage boys or men or whatever and South Parks funny and all, which it is sometimes, but it’s scary when directed at someone and threatening and try to see how people really are and feel in a situation and not just come back in anger or with the first thing that pops in your head. Myself included.
I think most of us probably are on the same side, at least about PV.
I'm rereading Virginia Woolfs A Room of One's Own again, it's the one with that whole Shakespeare's sister thing.
And I'm not just I'm makeing snooty book references, which I do because I don't want people to think PV people are idiots.
everyone's good at something, please don't make me do Calculus or long division.
It's a really good short essay about feminism. very empowering. like it's really good, much better then my rambling
Feminism's no joke.
Neither is getting payed 7.25 an hour for working 32hrs a week at Barnes & Nobles. just saying
or being put in a prison camp, or being attacked and flashed and living with my parents or with my ex or in my neighborhood, or my whole dangerous scary stupid life.
as for all the rest of this chat room crap it's always the same,
this is why I remember I don't go on them
we always have the perve and of course the twelve year old boy,
it's a chat room so everyone is anonymous and therefore much ruder and more open then they would be in real life, which makes everyone angry and even ruder.
I have a theory that a lot of people are pretty angry anyway and it tends to come out in chat rooms.
on Fornits I see a lot of paranioa too,
your the troll you didn't say what i wanted to hear,
no your the troll and so on back and forth forever,
then on Fornits you have the real trolls too just to add to the mayhem
nothing like program survivors with PTS in a chat room probably with some program people.
it's kind of horrifyingly interesting really.
but tiring and i'm done being bothered by it.
if I find any more good relevant stuff about PV or the industry I'll post otherwise it's a waste of time stress and energy