mercer shitting his pants

[Anonymous]

When you interned at MMS you were just as bad as the other staff. Remember intervention?? It was horrible. You watched what happened to Blair there, you sat by John's side and preached. That seemed OK to you? I remember you, how you damaged people. Do you remember me? You seemed like a bully then, and you were "all grown up" the perfect little MMS spokesperson. How can you say that you felt fear as a student, and then strive to instill it in the students. WHY HAS NO ONE SAID THIS BEFORE? You were more concerned with John's approval (even as an adult) and successfully completeting your internship than the students- your fellow human beings. I have pictures of you standing around as Blair was humiliated and emotionally ripped apart. You are in the background chatting with Carla with a lively smile on your face.

You make me sick. I can't listen to anymore of your garbage. You are so full of shit, even John would call it out. Gimme a f-ing break.

MMS Survivor

[Anonymous]

the above is directed at Betsy.

[katfish]

On 2006-02-28 20:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"What is funny is that to make a class action thing get under way all you need is 25 people. The hard part is that the statute of limitation is waaay over. You can go with breach of contract, but your parents would have to file and you can go up to 8 year beyond statute of limitations. Dont know. I have mixed feelings. John Mercer should be shot, if it werent for the law I would kill him. But for the legal reasons behind it I wont do it. Everyone else was helpful.


Sincerely,



SM

Please check Kelly Matheson. She is now an attorney in Oregon. She taught at the school and left for ethical reasons"

Sarah Matheson, it that you?? While I agree that some were ok, read:kind- like gary, they were also negligent and like everyone else sat by and accepted our mistreatment..then you had John and Mike, at least during my time, and they were siply cruel, cruel, cruel...what you saif of Blair is so MMS, I do believe Betsy's behavior as an intern empitomizes the outcome when one fully embraces MMS values.
[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2006-03-01 06:38 ]

[BarnardlyB]

"When you interned at MMS you were just as bad as the other staff. Remember intervention?? It was horrible. You watched what happened to Blair there, you sat by John's side and preached. That seemed OK to you? I remember you, how you damaged people. Do you remember me? You seemed like a bully then, and you were "all grown up" the perfect little MMS spokesperson. How can you say that you felt fear as a student, and then strive to instill it in the students. WHY HAS NO ONE SAID THIS BEFORE? You were more concerned with John's approval (even as an adult) and successfully completeting your internship than the students- your fellow human beings. I have pictures of you standing around as Blair was humiliated and emotionally ripped apart. You are in the background chatting with Carla with a lively smile on your face.
You make me sick. I can't listen to anymore of your garbage. You are so full of shit, even John would call it out. Gimme a f-ing break.
MMS Survivor"



Dear Anon,
I don't know your name, so I don't specifically remember who you are but there is only one person who comes to mind.
I'm soo sorry you are so angry at me. I didn't purposefully or malicously treat you girls in anyway.
My internship wasn't about me being a staff....technically, according to John I wasn't a "Staff" I was to stand by and watch,....interact with you girls some and that was about it. As far as I remember thats all I did. My internship wasn't about calling out John or correcting him as he addressed you girls.......
Honestly, and I know this isn't an excuse, yet I knew NO OTHER WAY. I didn't even know there was a right or wrong way or even about credentials, till about  a year ago when I found Kat and this site.
Interventions, god I was on so many during my stay that the ONE you went on was a norm to me. The way you were talked to was everyday at MMS. Im not trying to justify what I did, yet hoping you will understand. Having been a student there and coming back to a somewhat laid back MMS, I thought you got it easy for what it was when I was there. Remember, I was a student, and I was a student when ALL  founding staff was involved in day to day. I hardly ever went  to school, or only did a 25 mile bike ride for an activity.....try 50 or more.
I know we all have our stories and once again im sorry.
Honestly, the only acceptence I was looking for was from no one. The John I knew at MMS as an intern was 100% different John than I knew as a student.
At that time in my life I had asked to be an intern, so to get my life straight. I had been though quite a bit since MMS, and I needed a break. I had been raped not even a year after MMS, my mom treated me like shit and life was real bad....I needed  way to get away ................MMS was my out.

" I have pictures of you standing around as Blair was humiliated and emotionally ripped apart. You are in the background chatting with Carla with a lively smile on your face."

If i was in the background talking to a fellow staff, than in no way was I apart of the conversation.
Nor was it my job to correct John.

 "You watched what happened to Blair there, you sat by John's side and preached. That seemed OK to you?"

Once again Honestly, and its no excuse I know, yet I knew no other way. I was a scapegoat at MMS as was Blair.....I knew what she was going through.

Also, to add to that HOW DARE YOU try and put the blame on me as to what happened to Blair, as if I could have helped her from killing herself. YOU CAN GO AND SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!

I have talked to Blaire many times before she died, and, still talk to Chris, her boyfrriend at the time.
Our stories were similar before, during and even after MMS, and not once, NOT FUCKING ONCE.....did she ever blame me or talk to me in such way......who do you think you are???!!!!!!!!! who are you???
as words wisely spoken from Metallica
"don't judge, yet thee be jugded themself" hope it makes sence for  simple minds.....
Go ahead think im full of shit, feel free, we all obviously have our own opinion. Yet for your sake I hope you seek out help.
B


_________________
you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-03-01 20:38 ]

[Anonymous]

I never blamed you for Blairs death. I actually think it's pretty arrogant of you to even say something like that. I stated that I thought it was an intersting commentary on MMS in general. Blair was amazing. Chris is a great guy, too. I also talk to him. Betsy, I want you to figure a few things out. You seem to have absolutely no concrete personal opinion. How many years has it been since you left MMS? How many days a week are you on this forum? It appears that every time you make a statement it's incredibly appologetic. I feel badly for the way you must feel inside. so conflicted, guilty maybe?


And for ANYONE who ever went to MMS to throw an expression out there like, "Get help..." disgusting. That's such a derrogatory statement.

Who do you think I am, I'm sure your wrong.

MMS Survivor

[katfish]

On 2006-02-28 20:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

" How can you say that you felt fear as a student, and then strive to instill it in the students. WHY HAS NO ONE SAID THIS BEFORE?
MMS Survivor"

100% agree

also, it was said at some point by Besty  I bleive that b/c primary staff is not involved in MMS day to day the same kind of scare tactics are no longer used...I will say, I never had any problems with secondary staff, except maybe felt a litte fearful of...Carla?  soe young recent grad.  I also feared Donna but only b/c she did the white glove test on chorse that meant someone would get 'called back' and ultimtaly result in indvidual or group 'consequence.'  Failure was often inevitable, until you mastered the MMS 'bullshitting' craft.
Anyway- does this not concern you, Betsy, or anyone- that the person who RUNS the school, who is on the NATSAP board, who seeks legitimacy has been such a major terror in our lives ?  And the absurdity to claim MMS is ok b/c John is not involved makes zero sense...at any moment he can get involved.  AND HE'S already involved!  Maybe not day to day, but does this make sense?  

I do think John is sick-- he takes arrogance to a different sphere...he was sadistic...he was also ignorant and uneducated...So, while you can always educate yourself, does your ethical code every change?  Esp when HE spent so many years telling us to take 'accountability', it doesn't sound like he's been willing or capable of extend the courtesy back to those he damaged and dehumanized.


And, for the record, I used to love Metallica (older stuff though), until I found James Hefield is an idiot.
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051226/bayoumi

[BarnardlyB]

Im sorry you think im arrogant for my reply, yet I wasn't the only one with the same response.
Actually you might want to go back and read all my posts because I have plenty of concrete personal opionions.

Im sorry your life isn't going well for you right now. Im also sorry you feel the need to project your issues onto me.
My life is stable....Im well done with the figuring out life after MMS stage and maybe you should start focusing on that. It seems you need the time. So, stop take a deep breath and look at your own life and figure it out.

Kat and I have been throught this many times. Yes im conflicted, yes, I don't get the topics sometimes, but Im dealing with that. How are you dealing??? or is blame a good way for you. And once again. I hope you seek out help for your own sake.
B

[Anonymous]

don't ever try to assume that I have any problems with my life. I have become a very successful person by dealing with opinions and feelings in the moment, not lashing out later or using some bizarre form of passive-aggresivism. Do we still judge stability and emotional well being in personal success? If that's so, then I am doing very well. I'll be a doctor soon, practicing emergency medicine. I've spent the last 2 yrs working with the dpt of health and human services on various national relief projects such as hurricane katrina. Yes, I'm only 21.

But I think to gauge personal success of academic credentials and economic achievements is wrong. Very wrong. It's such a MMS style of thinking; That external validations are an appropriate means of evaluating emotional well-being. How do I know I am successful DESPITE (not because) my MMS experiance? I am comfortable in my own skin. I have no problem reviewing my own problems and working on them. I do not have some bizarre need to defend a place that traumatized me. I do not feel the need to buffer any criticism of the place with a compulsory, "But it saved my life!!!" or "I learned so much about myself!!!" and an outpouring of false gratitude. Nor do I feel the need to return there for "closure" and work there.

You defend your internship with statements like, "Hey, I just stood there and watched." or "I was supposed to learn from the experiance." Sounds eerily familiar, doesn't it? Kinda like the Christians in NAZI germany? Or like many other people who stood by during national genocide becuase it didn't affect them. Apartheid?? Sound familiar? This is your defense?

Fine, no problem. At least I have my answer. Now I understand why you could stand there and watch. You are okay with complacency and ignorance.

MMS Survivor

[Anonymous]

I was with you all the way sister...that was until you said you are only 21 and almost a doctor.  Does this include your med school and residency...interesting.  You just completely discredited yourself.  I don't care what you do for a living, this is irrelevant.  What is relevant is honesty and unless your Doogie Howser, a 21 year old emergency room physician is impossible.

[Anonymous]

soon, meanin g I'll be starting residency soon( 1 yr.), a 7 yr med program at my university had me starting med school my jr yr at college.

[Anonymous]

and unless things have changed, MD is pronounced Medical Doctor.... you just aren't board certified yet.

[BarnardlyB]

"But I think to gauge personal success of academic credentials and economic achievements is wrong. Very wrong. It's such a MMS style of thinking"

maybe you should figure somethings out.
If you really think MMS gauged success on academic achievements....then you really didn't get it. I don't remember anyone going on homevisits or leaving becuase they got straight A's.  At least the MMS I went to academics were the last thing on anyones mind. We hardly went to school. Achievement were based on physical and emotional success.

Im actually hardly on this site....If you truly believe your life is well, than good. Yet it seems you still have a lot of issues to work out.  Im glad your doing so well, and have turned around to try and save others lives. Good luck with that. If this is Sam S, here you are defending your life and giving me hard time about blaire, yet why is it that no one knew you were friends since you were little. Why is it only when she passed did we all learn about your bond???
iF this is Annick, don't give me ahard time about your time at MMS. You were one of the hardest girls there and you were so hard and mean to Blaire. Why not calm down a bit and not try and act so differently and just be differnent.

 "do not have some bizarre need to defend a place that traumatized me. "
good, but I don't beleive MMS tramatized me....therefore i defend it.


"You defend your internship with statements like, "Hey, I just stood there and watched." or "I was supposed to learn from the experiance."
If it was so bad, and you were being tramatized why didn't you say something when john was being so mean, and rude.
I watched a room full of girls be put to there knees in tears, myself included, when john told a new girl what her parents really died of.
A girl stood up and told him off.......it does happen, people do stand up....did you??? will you???
As  student I right before I left I too stood up the staff and was sent on a personal solo....during a intervention. Anygirl that was there will remember...Don't tell me what I should ahve done when you didn't do anything and your not doing anyhting to better what you think is wrong........

[BarnardlyB]

"But I think to gauge personal success of academic credentials and economic achievements is wrong. Very wrong. It's such a MMS style of thinking"

maybe you should figure somethings out.
If you really think MMS gauged success on academic achievements....then you really didn't get it. I don't remember anyone going on homevisits or leaving becuase they got straight A's.  At least the MMS I went to academics were the last thing on anyones mind. We hardly went to school. Achievement were based on physical and emotional success.

Im actually hardly on this site....If you truly believe your life is well, than good. Yet it seems you still have a lot of issues to work out.  Im glad your doing so well, and have turned around to try and save others lives. Good luck with that. If this is Sam S, here you are defending your life and giving me hard time about blaire, yet why is it that no one knew you were friends since you were little. Why is it only when she passed did we all learn about your bond???
iF this is Annick, don't give me ahard time about your time at MMS. You were one of the hardest girls there and you were so hard and mean to Blaire. Why not calm down a bit and not try and act so differently and just be differnent.

 "do not have some bizarre need to defend a place that traumatized me. "
good, but I don't beleive MMS tramatized me....therefore i defend it.


"You defend your internship with statements like, "Hey, I just stood there and watched." or "I was supposed to learn from the experiance."
If it was so bad, and you were being tramatized why didn't you say something when john was being so mean, and rude.
I watched a room full of girls be put to there knees in tears, myself included, when john told a new girl what her parents really died of.
A girl stood up and told him off.......it does happen, people do stand up....did you??? will you???
As  student I right before I left I too stood up the staff and was sent on a personal solo....during a intervention. Anygirl that was there will remember...Don't tell me what I should ahve done when you didn't do anything and your not doing anyhting to better what you think is wrong........

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-28 12:19:00, BarnardlyB wrote:

"".
 Achievement were based on physical and emotional success.

I watched a room full of girls be put to there knees in tears, myself included, when john told a new girl what her parents really died of.

A girl stood up and told him off.......it does happen, people do stand up....did you??? will you???

As  student I right before I left I too stood up the staff and was sent on a personal solo....during a intervention. Anygirl that was there will remember..."

Hey Betsy-  I wasn't there with you as an  intern, but I feel for you and the accusation levied up against you.  John was a tyrant and we were isolated from everyone...maybe some girls could stand up to him, but I never saw that as an option.  my own terror and convictionc of feeling John was Godly man made that impossible.  GIven those condtions, our belief in his Godliness I thought was near impossible to challenge.  He played God, an uneducated one, but God none the less.

I also wanted to comment on MMS and emotional succuess...I didn't find that MMS had any real gauge for success, actually, beyond obedience and verbal rhetoric...regular pointing out other girls 'shit' and . . . I don't see how terror can induce emotional success... physical success, yes... if you disconnect the mind from the physical.  But the physical was no why we were there.  MMS, bottom line, is a po dunk program with a podunk tyrant of a man running it.  We were all vitcims in one sense or another....regardless of our capacity to acknowledge it.

[Anonymous]

Barnardly B, can you explain what "emotional sucesses" you feel you actually achieved at MMS? And, didn't your parents contract for educational benefits? That is one large component this school advertises, and it is an expectation for the girls enrolled there. Any "physical activity" decribed on this forum appears to be free, child labor...or ridiculous, sadistic punishment.