"When you interned at MMS you were just as bad as the other staff. Remember intervention?? It was horrible. You watched what happened to Blair there, you sat by John's side and preached. That seemed OK to you? I remember you, how you damaged people. Do you remember me? You seemed like a bully then, and you were "all grown up" the perfect little MMS spokesperson. How can you say that you felt fear as a student, and then strive to instill it in the students. WHY HAS NO ONE SAID THIS BEFORE?
You were more concerned with John's approval (even as an adult) and successfully completeting your internship than the students- your fellow human beings. I have pictures of you standing around as Blair was humiliated and emotionally ripped apart. You are in the background chatting with Carla with a lively smile on your face.
You make me sick. I can't listen to anymore of your garbage. You are so full of shit, even John would call it out. Gimme a f-ing break.
MMS Survivor"
Dear Anon,
I don't know your name, so I don't specifically remember who you are but there is only one person who comes to mind.
I'm soo sorry you are so angry at me. I didn't purposefully or malicously treat you girls in anyway.
My internship wasn't about me being a staff....technically, according to John I wasn't a "Staff" I was to stand by and watch,....interact with you girls some and that was about it. As far as I remember thats all I did. My internship wasn't about calling out John or correcting him as he addressed you girls.......
Honestly, and I know this isn't an excuse, yet I knew NO OTHER WAY. I didn't even know there was a right or wrong way or even about credentials, till about a year ago when I found Kat and this site.
Interventions, god I was on so many during my stay that the ONE you went on was a norm to me. The way you were talked to was everyday at MMS. Im not trying to justify what I did, yet hoping you will understand. Having been a student there and coming back to a somewhat laid back MMS, I thought you got it easy for what it was when I was there. Remember, I was a student, and I was a student when ALL founding staff was involved in day to day. I hardly ever went to school, or only did a 25 mile bike ride for an activity.....try 50 or more.
I know we all have our stories and once again im sorry.
Honestly, the only acceptence I was looking for was from no one. The John I knew at MMS as an intern was 100% different John than I knew as a student.
At that time in my life I had asked to be an intern, so to get my life straight. I had been though quite a bit since MMS, and I needed a break. I had been raped not even a year after MMS, my mom treated me like shit and life was real bad....I needed way to get away ................MMS was my out.
" I have pictures of you standing around as Blair was humiliated and emotionally ripped apart. You are in the background chatting with Carla with a lively smile on your face."
If i was in the background talking to a fellow staff, than in no way was I apart of the conversation.
Nor was it my job to correct John.
"You watched what happened to Blair there, you sat by John's side and preached. That seemed OK to you?"
Once again Honestly, and its no excuse I know, yet I knew no other way. I was a scapegoat at MMS as was Blair.....I knew what she was going through.
Also, to add to that HOW DARE YOU try and put the blame on me as to what happened to Blair, as if I could have helped her from killing herself. YOU CAN GO AND SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!
I have talked to Blaire many times before she died, and, still talk to Chris, her boyfrriend at the time.
Our stories were similar before, during and even after MMS, and not once, NOT FUCKING ONCE.....did she ever blame me or talk to me in such way......who do you think you are???!!!!!!!!! who are you???
as words wisely spoken from Metallica
"don't judge, yet thee be jugded themself" hope it makes sence for simple minds.....
Go ahead think im full of shit, feel free, we all obviously have our own opinion. Yet for your sake I hope you seek out help.
B
_________________
you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful
[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-03-01 20:38 ]