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Messages - Nonconformistlaw

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766
The Troubled Teen Industry / Suicide at The Family Foundation School
« on: August 09, 2005, 11:12:00 PM »
As much as I dont agree with methods like those listed above and think programs should use methods to protect them that dont involve humilitaion, etc...you have a point :sad:  As horrid as the secondary effects are, as a parent, I'm sure I'd prefer my kid alive and damaged than dead. But, I just cant bring myself to approve of methods that strip them of their dignity.

And you're right about something you said in another post...one dead kid is one too many. I dont care if its old news either...it still matters...

767
World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) / Good program experiences!
« on: August 09, 2005, 11:00:00 PM »
Hey TSW, what ever happened to the Martian story?
 ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::

768
The Troubled Teen Industry / Suicide at The Family Foundation School
« on: August 09, 2005, 10:46:00 PM »
I like the part about for the suicidal kids making them be your assistant for the week. Sounds kind of like a healthy buddy system to encourage them to reach out for help in the right ways and deal with what is on their mind. Sends a great message... "I'm looking after you because I care..." And God knows they REALLY need praise! LIKE IT ::rainbow::

769
The Troubled Teen Industry / Suicide at The Family Foundation School
« on: August 09, 2005, 10:28:00 PM »
Some of ths things you listed TSW make perfect sense to me, like 3, 4, 6 and 7.

But, I have a few questions about #1 - could you elaborate a little?? I'm getting a pretty ugly picture in my mind about the whole rope thing. I dont think I understand this one right. And, what is the point of the rope? I dont get it, and last, what are the drastic consequences?

#2---great, humilate a kid who is already in a fragile emotional state

the shower and bathroom supervision, God that gives me the creeps...:scared: Straight flashback, only that was routine practice for all 1st phasers daily

#5 I dont get it, what's the point???

Why do programs monitor them in such a degrading way that could worsen a kid's state of extreme despair???

Anyway....I realize they should monitor suicidal kids very closely...and damn well better take all reasonable precautions.

770
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Uncomfortably numb
« on: August 09, 2005, 09:37:00 PM »
Come to think of it....

If I'm falsely accused of anything in my life...I FREAK OUT, I'm hyper-sensitive that way....nobody ever understands why I have such a strong reaction. I always hear "if their wrong don't worry about it...you can't control what other people think" Stuff like that. But it always REALLY upsets when me when I have been misunderstood in any way.

Obviously being misunderstood by my parents and falsely accused of being a druggie by Straight became my worst nightmare.

Does this happen to anyone else???? Overreacting to being misunderstood and/or falsely accused???

771
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Uncomfortably numb
« on: August 09, 2005, 09:23:00 PM »
I know what you mean...I KNOW I need to remember and really feel things...and I hate that I cant reach the pain...but KNOW it's there, and I am scared to death to really feel it...But, hey if I can survive Straight once I guess I can do it again when I force myself to relive it.

That is what its going to be like isn't it...like reliving the nightmare all over again :question:  :question:

Oh well...gotta do it...its bizarre how that I know Straight happened, but at times it seems like it happen to someone else or I just imagined how bad it really was...surreal or something. Probably denial.

You know when you mentioned how being concious of predators and how it has kept you alone...it got me thinking...Are my Straight created phobias & fears connected to why I am alone/single. I have never been able to maintain a long-term relationship...there always short.

One of my Straight created fears...fear of being falsely accused and imprisoned again...can't shake it.

772
Brat Camp / Great Idea
« on: August 09, 2005, 08:55:00 PM »
Mike said ----"Quick question to all. has anyone writen the sagewalk people an email besides me?"-----

No, but I emailed Dateline the night they ran the restraints story.

What did you say to Sagewalk...Did they respond?...Just curious.

773
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The last thing i ever wanted to be.
« on: August 09, 2005, 08:43:00 PM »
I cant figure out the quote thing either, anyway Pirate...You said...in your two posts...
------?Sometimes the posts on this forum get really lame, with all the bickerin' and small time little insult wars 'n' such but i see now where the real fighters are. i see now where the real struggle is. You people are all beautiful to me. i am ashamed that i even joined that yahoo group if only for 2 days. i have since quit that site forever. i am not an alumni. i am a cop-out. The last thing i ever wanted to be was a str8 inc. alumni. " Like Daniel out of the lions' den" (Bob Marley) i'm a survivor. Fuck str8. Fuck all authority. God is in each of us.?-------

------?Maybe i am confused but i think my instincts are right. Fuck Str8. i refuse to accept their brainwash. i refuse to break under their threats and manipulations. i am immune to the disease which they would give to me. Fuck Str8. i will not carry their disease to others, i will not let it infect me. Fuck oppression. Fuck fear.?------

For what its worth...I dont think you have anything to be ashamed of....it wasn't an act in support of the devil  ::rainbow::

774
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Uncomfortably numb
« on: August 08, 2005, 11:40:00 PM »
Yeah, I've already notice that the forum is addicting...but I've also notice that the forum is oddly...well downright therapudic, because so many here have been there and there's no need to convince POW's how horrible it was...even if my life does feel like its been turned upside down all over again...I'm glad I found it.

And I have been thinking about counseling...but the fears crop up, what if they dont believe my story, you know..distrust of so called therapy...and if that happens I dont know what I'll do...but I think its worth trying because NOTHING can be as bad as Straight.

Yeah, between Dateline's story and this forum, I realize Straight never really went away (to my absolute horror)...and I have already been involved in my own way, through more indirect means...by mentoring kids. And I plan to devote some amount of my practice (I'm about to graduate law school) to juvenile law, even though Straight's influence is felt in the JJ system (drug courts). I hope to make some kind of contribution to finding real solutions, because I can't stand what kids in the system (or in copycat Straight programs)have to go through without a single adult on their side. Idealistic...yeah, I know.

775
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Uncomfortably numb
« on: August 08, 2005, 10:57:00 PM »
Less than two weeks ago dateline jolted me out of my comfortably numb state when it aired its piece on program restraints. And then I found this forum immediately...

I didn't know there were so many Straight and other program POW's out there....and so I read, and read and read....so many things that I have forgotten about....at times I had to stop reading because I couldn't handle it...way too much reality...

I always thought I was able to put Straight behind me...and after years of post-Straight stuggling in every way imaginable...I became, for lack of better words, an "over-acheiver." I guess you could say I drove myself to "sucess" out of sheer determination to forget Straight, forget the label of being a bad kid/druggie, and partly, to prove every last one of them how wrong they were about me.

I thought I finally silenced the Straight demons, calmed that uneasy haunnted feeling that never goes away, I though I had it under control...

Yes Ive always been very aware of the anger that I carried with me, knew perfectly well how much Straight damaged me, have felt resentful every day since my incarceration in Straight and the kidnapping incident. But since I knew there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change the horrors of Straight, I just refused to think much about the entire experience.

And now.....I read on the verge of tears everyone else's experiences in Straight, nodding, yeah I remember that. But yet I cant cry, I cant break down, cant even comprehend my own emotional turmoil that is just beneath the surface...nor can I reach it...BUT I know its there....

I feel shell-shocked, just like the day I was first sat down in group....I'm numb and its so damn uncomfortable...and at the same time, I feel as if I'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown of sorts...

What the hell is this? After 20 years how is this possible???

Can somebody please explain this to me?????

776
World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) / Good program experiences!
« on: August 08, 2005, 12:23:00 PM »
Poo hazards..... :exclaim:  :grin:  :grin:

Yes...please do tell about the Martians... :???:

777
World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) / Good program experiences!
« on: August 08, 2005, 11:46:00 AM »
You don't have to convince me...It was sooo funny because it was oh so true.... ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::

But convincing all the little Happy Trolls out there in program loving land.... well, we know how that goes  ::rainbow::  ::rainbow::

778
World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) / Good program experiences!
« on: August 08, 2005, 10:57:00 AM »
Ah yes....the memories of rampant programing constipation....

A steady diet of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, constipation, and the rite of "passage" in the bathroom witnessed by an upper phaser :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

TSW, that was toooooo funny!  :lol:  :lol:

779
The Troubled Teen Industry / all programs soon to be shut down
« on: August 07, 2005, 11:57:00 PM »
Fine for the sake of arguement...lets do this your way...

First, Let me make sure I have your logic straight....

Survivor + Successful person = TRUTH

Survivor + Unsuccessful Person = Lies

Am I Right?

Thought so...simple math...

Let's do another easy equation....

Survivor + Successful Person/Lawyer = Truth of abusive, coercive programs that rob parents blind while breaking their child's spirit.

Now I'm starting to like your logic... :smile:

BUT I still say...

Survivor = TRUTH....period :wave:

780
World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS) / Good program experiences!
« on: August 07, 2005, 11:39:00 PM »
My awesome program experience.

Once upon a time I was sixteen, was the loner type who liked to read for hours on end, and listen to music by myself instead of subjecting myself to teasing and torment inflicted by neighborhood children...I smoked a few cigarettes every day, snuck out of the house once, was a virgin, yeah...I was really far down, I got drunk once, never tried drugs though...wasn't interested...I cut class a few times and got caught then was talked to by the principal and so I never did it again...oh I forgot, I kissed a boy one or two times and let him visit me once after school, which was forbidden....didn't get along with my family either..you know fights, disobeying my authoritarian father, hating my stepmonster

Yes, I was in dire need of intervention fast....

Straight decided I was I druggie with an attitude of the worst kind...drug tests were not necessary as it was sooo obvious I was a hard core druggie in desparate need of help to save me from myself, jail, death, hell and damnation, etc.

Straight successfully convinced me I had a drug problem by the time I "graduated", they say I got high off liquid paper, even though I had no clue how a person could get high from it. While in straight, I was humilated in various ways such as spending quality time in a bathroom stall with an older phaser vigiliently watching my every move. Straight successfully instilled fear of restraints or being confronted on my impressionable mind, so I never dared voice opposition or disagreement. The sleep deprivation was real fun...I loved struggling to stay awake in group or school every day, getting confronted for, for falling asleep in group was widely known to be a sure sign that I had stopped applying my program...watching my grades go to hell, thats a good thing about Straight...no emphasis on academics...no one ever asked about grades.

My fondest memory of Straight was the day, three weeks after turning 18 and well into "aftercare," I was caught breaking a rule...I committed the cardinal sin of...holding a guy's hand.... Straight and my parents took immediate and decisive action to save me from myself.....My loving father, stepmonster, and three of their loyal friends visited me at work one day, then grabbed me and pushed me into a car, all the while I'm kicking and screaming and trying to resist...as witnesses tried to help in vain...and I wisked off to Straight, where staff greeted me in obvious expectation of my arrival...soon after, to my utter dismay, the local police freed me from my Straight, my saviors...

Yes, I know, kinapping, assault and battery, and conspiracy are all highly illegal and vigorously prosecuted in this country, but no matter, any means necessary to save a child, even if its illegal.

Yes I was saved, saved...oh Thank you Straight for stealing my childhood from me. Thank you Straight for saving me from my drug free life. Thank you for the curiosity you instilled in me that led me to experiementing with drugs in a way I never thought possible! Thank you for my fear and distrust of authority figures. Thank you for years of insecurity...Thank you for my motivation to party my ass off for the first 5-7 years after the glorious day of the abduction...

Yes, what A WONDERFUL program experience Straight was!!!!!!!!!!!!

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