Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

The lifeboat exercise was in the Summit.  In mine, we got 3 votes each and could use them in any way we wanted.  We could have given multiple votes to a single person, we could have used them for our "survival".  I think that the number of votes was based on the number of people in your group.  I seem to remember that smaller peer groups had fewer votes.  3 people in my group were allowed to "survive".

The celebrity and other wealthy parents I talked with (maybe 10 parents in all), about why they sent their kids to Cedu schools, had a more pedestrian explanation.  There were very few options available to them that weren't inpatient psychiatric units.  So, for those parents who wanted their kids to get intensive residential treatment (or were told by educational consultants that their kids needed it), the choice was often either Cedu/RMA or a hospital.  They choose the option with which they had felt more comfortable.  In my case, my parents heard about RMA from a co-worker whose daughter had been one of the original RMA students -- she had come to Idaho from Cedu in California.

Best, M

There were children of celebrities there before and after Barbara Walter's daughter attended.  Like the other poster though, I think it is up to the children of celebrities to name their names -- not ours.

Oops, I just realized that I shouldn't have used his full name in case he wouldn't want it used... I had meant to PM and hit respond instead....damn.... well, John, if you see this and wouldn't have wanted your name used, sorry about that.

Stina, you don't remember Duane Troy?  He and Connie were there together.  Connie was in my peer group and Duane was in the peer group above yours.  The *hit kind of hit the fan after Connie had been there about a year -- and Duane ended up fleeing and never coming back.

I don't know what happened to either of them but they are a pair that I think about periodically.  They come to mind and I wonder if they are still alive.  Theirs was a hard story.

I was allowed pain killers while I was there.  I dislocated my jaw during my 2nd month at RMA in 1990.  I had been allowed on a ski trip and I fell and dislocated my jaw.  Hurt like a mother and I couldn't close my mouth all the way.  Caroline thought I was making it up and indicted me in a rap about trying to ruin  everyone's day of skiing (if she thought I had a particular motivation for trying to ruin everyone's day, I don't remember what it was).  Anyway, I hadn't been talking to my parents at that point -- I held off contact for 7 months after I got there.  But that week I called home, told my mom what happened while skiing and and the next day I was in Spokane at a doctor.  He popped my jaw back into place, set up physical therapy, and prescribed some pain killers.  As I write this it's interesting that I called home to ask for help but then didn't pick up the phone again for 5 months.

bobbyfischer -- I remember you well and was one of the lot who helped to carry you down the mountain.  I remember how shocked I'd felt when we all found out how badly you had been hurt.  I have pictures that I took that day on the hike.  You always treated me well.

Best, M

I'm not sure what is meant by "a full assessment", but she did have at least a PTSD assessment done at her TBS by her therapist who had worked a good bit with domestic violence.  He told us that she did meet criteria for PTSD.  Unfortunately, he left the program 2 months after my daughter arrived.

I looked at www.austinriggs.org.  Frankly, this option scares the hell out of me.  Maybe I'm in complete denial, but I just can't believe she needs a full-blown psychiatric facility.

It sounds like your daughter has been assessed by licensed professionals.  The only other question I would ask (and it sounds like it has already come up) is what they would recommend for treatment.  Again, I don't know the case, but it is very possible that they will recommend outpatient treatment.  I have worked with multiple battered women in outpatient therapy.  It took years for any of them to be able to really break ties with their abuser -- sometimes out of a very real fear of being killed -- but more often because they could not leave the relationship.  The possibility of leaving was more terrifying than staying with a partner who beat them.

There is a harm reduction model to therapy that I use with people who find it impossible to keep themselves safe (whether from a partner, strangers, or themselves in the case of extreme eating disorders or with people who cut or burn themselves).  In the cases of the women with whom I've worked, the therapies do not go after trying to make the woman leave their abuser (at least directly).  Rather it focuses on how the woman can survive in the relationship (and plan for the nights when she needs to escape) until leaving is a real option for her.  By taking this tack we can keep the therapy relationship alive until she is capable/ready/willing to keep herself safe.

Re: a psychiatric facility.  Don't let the name scare you off.  What it means that they have multiple agency oversight -- a good thing in my mind.  Many "therapeutic boarding schools" are now also registered hospitals.  If you are able to get insurance to cover part of the tuition you can be sure that they are recognized as an inpatient treatment facility.  Ask around -- it is more common than you expect.

The thing about Riggs is that they have an extraordinary 1 on 1 therapy program with a very high staff to student ratio.  They would have an intake with your daughter and decide whether placement would be indicated.

I've not asked him his position on Cedu, per se, but he Heads another school (that is quite different than the Cedu program).  In the very least, however, he supports some type of "therapeutic boarding school" model.  I have no clue whether he would agree to an interview but I would be surprised if he wouldn't provide you a reference for any theses on Cedu or RMA.

Best, M