I think I have posted that I am still very close to my friend Geoff who went to RMA with me. We talk constantly and it helps both of us to talk about the program even 20 years later. It is a common ground.
Having bumped into several members of my peer group over the years, none of them seemed uncomfortable at all meeting again. One I bumped into at mall, the conversation went well, we caught up, then said goodbye.
Another was going to school, lived near Geoff, we both went up more than once to chat, and it was great. Still friends after all those years. And that one was fairly recent.
You can't predict how someone will react, but I have always found people who went to RMA to be perfectly normal once on the outside. We all went through the same ordeals there, and it's good to talk about it, superficially or in-depth.
It could even help you to find whoever you were closest with, contact them and talk about things. Being able to laugh away some of the pain with someone who KNOWS what it was like, makes it easier. Or at least I think so.
But the longer you wait, the greater the chance you will have drifted away too far from each other to reform the bonds you had while at the school together. People move on, go to college, start careers, families... After a while they might see you as someone they once knew, but no longer are close to. But if you contact early, maintain the friendship and ties, you keep a friend who does know who you are, is already clued in, and you can have something that lasts a lifetime.
With my friends, RMA comes up now and then, but we became real friends at the school, so after graduation we were able to keep that friendship going. While at the school, the program meant less to us than the friendships, so after the school, RMA mattered less. It was just something to laugh or scream about when we remember something that happened. And having someone to share the moment with who was there and understands... Well, it's something irreplacable.
As for me, if someone contacted me after all these years, I wouldn't turn them away. I can't say anything much would come of it, but I would appreciate the contact and a chance to just talk.
But the hugs...? Immediately after the program you are still in the frame of mind that hugging is acceptable. I still hug Geoff when I see him. I hugged the others too. I guess it depends on how close you were. But there is a right time and a wrong time for that. Society doesn't take too well to seeing two guys hug each other.
Well, that's my two cents, whatever it's worth...
--Bill,