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Messages - shanlea

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I hate Hitler, but he was a genius, and Bush is a dunce.  

But frankly, the fact that over half our country voted for him does not speak well of our collective intellect.

All of Bush's mistakes could be predicted by anyone with common sense from the outset.

Spouses of Survivors / Relationships in general
« on: March 27, 2006, 04:14:00 PM »
I wrote the Kool Aid post, along with a few other anon ones. When we say, drink the kool aid, we mean buy into the whole cultic program.  (Brainwashed.) I believe this is a reference to an old cult where teh leader actually convinced his followers to drink teh Kool Aid--which had fatal poison in it.  They brought into the cult to the extent they were willing to drink poison. And they gave it to their children!

Open Free for All / NO SPEEDO'S
« on: March 16, 2006, 08:35:00 PM »
Sorry, please, please haze this sucker.

I'm a California native and will be there in late June for 10 days--I'd love to meet up.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Current state of BCA
« on: March 10, 2006, 07:00:00 PM »
I have to concur with the anon who just posted.  Also, from personal experience, students who interviewed while parents visit will not be candid. The emotional and verbal barrage is simply too torturous to deal with afterward.  (This also led us to confess false dirt.) Plus, the staff is prepped to "handle" the parents after your visit. If your kid badmouths the program, however civilly, there will be hell to pay afterward. For him. And he will make sure he never does it again. Because they will likely convince you he's full of shit.

In addition, the student lives in relative isolation from parents and their own idea of "normal" changes to meet CEDU or cult criteria. I can tell you right now that MANY people graduated while still brainwashed and later realized to the extent they brought into the program, and not in a good way.

Make sure their psych connections are truly independent, better yet, demand to use your own.  As far as academia, ask to see the course syllabi and certification records of teachers. Also, find out what certification the staff has. In the past, many had bogus pysch accreditation from online schools like California College.

We are not kidding when we say that we seriously got science credit for chopping wood and communication credit for screaming verbal abuse en masse at people for real, imagined, or petty reasons.  

You may want to check out the propheets. The version they do for parenst are soft versions. The ones for kids are way, way too intense and psychologically manipulative for minors.  

Check out the legal designation of BCA too. I know my parents thought they were sending me to a school, and it was legally classified as a group home.

My parents were referred to CEDU by pastors who were also family counselors who had never visited the school or researched the program.  But the brochures looked good.

Ask yourself why there are no longitudinal studies on the success rate?  

For parents who hail the program. Ask them in ten years after the Kool Aid wears off, because let me tell you, for many kids it does.

I know that CEDU lied to my parents about me, lied to me about my parents, convinced my parents to do one thing they had never done to me--lie, and used the whole "deadinsaneorinjail" fear to keep me there. Along with false dirt about drug abuse. My Mom brought the program hook, line, and sinker, but Dad knew something wasn't kosher.

Anyway, good luck to you. I'm not trying to be a muckraker, but as a mother and a teacher, I understand both the desperation of trying to help your children and the treachery of an industry that often manipulates that instinct.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Help At Any Cost
« on: March 03, 2006, 11:16:00 PM »
I haven't read the Help At Any Cost book yet, but I am planning to... Especially since it could be relevant to my profession. I just got word the author, Maia, is appearing at Borders Books in Columbus Circle in NYC on March 23rd to anyone interested. I might see if I can work it in myself.

I don't think Annie Hall is Ottawa. This is a caricature.

But go ahead, print this out and show it to your lawyer.

Besides, Anne Hall was too snooty for this: :wave:

The Seed Discussion Forum / damaged beyond repair
« on: January 24, 2006, 08:14:00 PM »
Yes, I absolutely concur that you should not deny what happened or you may feel powerless over what happened to you.  When I discussed this with my Mom, I told her logically, factually, and assertively what happened.  I did not over emote.  I did not blame.  (Really, she thought she was sending me to a bucolic boarding school that would give me all the self esteem I didn't have.  The brochure looked good, and she was referred by a kindly pastor/counselor who never visited the place.)  She was the one who had an emotional reaction, but to her credit, she did not deny my experience. In fact, she admitted she sent me there because SHE was unequipped to parent--at that time, she just needed me gone. It did set a tense tone for the remainder of her visit, but I got it out and said what I always wanted to say, and I don't have to pretend the place did any good at all anymore. And I'm okay with the fact she had trouble coping with the info, so I don't need to shove it down her throat.  Having said that, I would be right pissed if she denied my experience and said it saved me. But she didn't.  

But what Greg said about keeping calm and stating the facts, not letting anyone bulldoze you, but also maintaining emotional control is true.  It's just that it takes time to do that--it's hard to discuss what happened intellectually when it fucked you over so bad emotionally.

The Seed Discussion Forum / damaged beyond repair
« on: January 24, 2006, 07:13:00 PM »
It's interesting you bring this up.  I came to this site over a year ago in an attempt to make sense of that part of my life (I went to CEDU).  It validated everything I ever felt about CEDU, and I was happy I found people who could relate.  (I split the program, so I was cut off from former peers and could not discuss it with "civilians"--they simply could not understand.)  I am a very sensitive person, so even though I knew CEDU was fucked, it affected me deeply.  And it was the one topic I could never address with my parents. In fact, my CEDU experience was made worse by the fact I could never talk about it.

I am extremely close to my Mom and consider her my favorite person, bar none, to be around. I can also talk to her about anything... except CEDU.   One night last summer, we went out to dinner and I told her exactly what happened there. I didn't blame her at all--she had no idea, but I told her everything.  And she resented the hell out of it.  She was pissed. She didn't dispute anything I said, but she resented the messenger and not the school.   It was years ago, and since we are so close, I think she resented that I had to remove any illusion she had about the place. It was another way she felt she failed me. And I think she just wished I would just shut the hell up about something that can't be changed, since it occurred over 15 years ago. we weren't close in any ways, I would be angry.

But also, I think there is only so much guilt a person can take.  She already felt extremely guilty for many things, like not protecting me better, and to find out the place she sent me to in order to help me only exacerbated my sense of isolation made it worse. So I forgive her for it, and know it's one of those things in life you just can't understand unless you've been through it--like depression, rape, or heck, even parenthood.  

Being older and having gone through a lot, and now, being a mother of two small boys, I can only hope I can give them what they need to feel safe and loved in this world.  That I never have an overriding sense of guilt, like my mothers', that I didn't protect them enough. I remember when I had boys being grateful that I didn't have to worry about protecting a little girl from some of the things I went through. Though logically I know this doesn't make much sense.  All children are vulnerable.

At any rate, I know that pain of guilt is  powerful and your family may be better equipped to deal with denial than guilt.  Most of us are.

What happened happened, and there are ways to cope better, but it will always be woven into your psyche.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Education Levels
« on: January 20, 2006, 10:04:00 PM »
I probably knew you... I was the anon who made reference to the highly developed drama dept. (raps)

There is another side of the story? You mean any good memories justify the fact that the staff were severely under accredited,practiced experimental, abusive therapy, distorted our stories, isolated us from reality, manipulated or flat out lied to our parents, ignored viable medical conditions,fronted fraudulent academics, did not deal with core issues effectively, trained people to spy, bully, and coerce as "healthy" relational boundaries, badgered us to the extent that we had to change our histories to fit their model (do you know how many kids were fucking badgered to death to admit drug/sex/eating bulimia histories that did not exist?), adopted profane,scream jousts as a method of interacting with others, and forced us to live with the insecurity of having staff members who told us of their horrific criminal/sexual/deviant histories and we are supposed to feel SAFE given some of our own traumatic experiences?!!

WHAT THE FUCK? This isn't about pissing and moaning-- this is plain immoral and I can't possibly fathom why good hiking trips with your peers makes up for that. CEDU was just another place where I learned that I should overlook bullshit in order to survive the system and that is fallacious thinking.

I am a teacher now and yes, it is a moral imperative that I steer parents AWAY from shitholes like this.  Imagine my surprise when I came to Fornits and found that unfortunately, Cedu type places and worse are proliferate in our country.

And contrary to what many assholes think--that these "troubled" kids deserved to be fucked with, you've gotta be freaking kidding me. This school wasn't about tough love or natural consequences, it was about fraudulence and abuse.  Verbal and psychological abuse are far more insidious in many ways than just having someone deck you good.

This also isn't about whining because your life sucks. Life is messy.  I'm not some slut/druggie/loser complaining because CEDU sucked many years ago.  (Although it absolutely affected me.) I'm just a Mom/ teacher/grad student who makes mistakes, has successes, and learns a lot just like everyone else. I have a great relationship with my family that we all earned from hard work, love, acceptance, and perseverence.

But this doesn't mean it's okay for me to have an apathetic attitude toward the next wave of inductees to any one of these programs.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / RMA 'student' 1985-86
« on: January 10, 2006, 12:46:00 AM »
On 2005-04-16 07:20:00, Anonymous wrote:

I bought into the the concept of brutal honesty, and wow that was such a BAD idea.      


The thing about brutal honesty?  It wasn't brutally honest... it wasn't even minimally honest. Not to us, about us, or to our families.

CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU 1987-1989
« on: January 10, 2006, 12:40:00 AM »
I did.

Say what you want about Serb, but if you've ever read any posts where he concisely explains his antipathy toward CEDU, you would realize his heart is in the right place.

It's not about whining about what happened to HIM.  It's about the immorality of subjugating minors of an impressionable age to abusive, mind fucking experimental techniques, combined with a mentally repressive atmosphere, fraudulent academics and "therapeutic" tools, the use of coersion to distort reality, and isolating them from any resource that might contradict CEDU's practices.  (Oh, geez, and I forgot about widespread lying to parents and students alike.)  


It would be easy for someone like Serb, who has his own family and successful business, to think "who the fuck cares about who else gets fucked? I'm all set."  But he chooses NOT to do that.

The truth is that parents have contacted some of us from this site and have opted not to submit to any CEDU style program, and that is the impetus for continuing to write.  

Moreover, not one pro CEDU person has EVER listed specific tools that helped them in the "real world." It's not about whining: it's about dropping too many fucking pesos to be worked over by a bunch of fucked up, unaccredited staff members working out their own bullshit experimenting on us.  And OUR children.

No one's saying if you had some nice memories at CEDU you're a cultist. But even the woman who gets the shit beaten out of her by her husband wouldn't say it's okay because he sent her flowers later.

It's interesting that individuals protesting CEDU's abusive or non-existent therapeutic and academic practices get painted with the "black and white" paintbrush.  Ironic since CEDU promoted a dialectical perspective on life: the CEDU way or the wrong way. Black and white thinking was perfected at CEDU.

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