Me again, this time logging in succesfully as Exhausted, how embarrassing, I'm an IT tutor
ops:
Okkay everything I've read so far makes sense, everything, all of it
I have been down the route of giving my 19 yr old every opportunity to clean up his act , so have many other people, he simply doesn't want to know, so it's time for him to go, he is an abusive drunk, as I've banned him from stepping foot in the house wiht a drink inside him, he's now started sneaking it in, like I can't smell it on his breath? he got really abusive last night on vodka (again) I simply cannot carry him financially, emmotionally and physically any more, he has to go it alone and as has been said, decide on his won path, although he sopends alot of time telling me I'm not anormal mother if I ask him to pick up the rubbish he strews all over the house or bring his laundry down etc, normal mothers slave after their kids don;t you know?
I have just been to the mental health team today to get the results of my 13 yr olds tests, sadly he has the learning ability of a 6 year old, his concentration span is about 7 seconds and he has no life or comnmunication skills, so I'm waiting to find out where we go from here with this......he was diagnosed with ADHD on Jan 13th this year, was put on Concerta about 4 months later and the doseage has just been upped......my son is told daily that he is not thick, by me & his siblings, in fact he is really clevber, the block just hurtles in when putting what's in his brain down on paper, our Prime Minister was a dyslexic! (John Major - muppet)
While I was getting the results, the 14 yr old jumped through the window of the car and ran away again, so i have no idea where he is at this moment, the 13 yr old soon followed suit after we returned home ... it really scares me not knowing what they are doing and who they are with, wether they are committing some crime or smoking drugs whatever.
I assure you, no matter what the day brings, and believe me it's like this every day - I tell all 4 of my children every single night that I love them, I may not like what they do, but I love them and kiss them goodnight, that's if they decide to come in that night of course.
I do praise the 19 yr old, I always try to find something about them every day that has been good, this is often difficult because sometimes I have to look very hard for something, but I'll usually find something even if it's a small thing like taking their shoes off at the door or hanging their coat up - everyone needs to be told their not all bad all the time, even me....even when I want to throttle them, I'll say please and thankyou to them, why should they speak to me with respect if I can't do the same? I find this difficult though when I've just been called a psycho whore, I have to bite my lip and say "I don't appreciate being spoken to like that, now would you apologise to me for being so hurtful and disrespectful PLEASE" when they do I thank them, in reality I want to slap them straight in the mouth, but that's not how I deal with things.
Oh well same shit, different day, tomorrow will bring more of the same no doubt - but I will survive it as I have done so far, until I eventually crack under the strain - still, when it's me who's been put into a mental facility at least I'l get some peace & quiet!
Seriously - my friend who also has a child with ADHD has just sufggested that as I can't get any help from my GP that i should take the 14 yr old to the ER and insist that I've had to go there because I have nowehere left to turn and see if they can get a psychriatic assessment, take a short cut as it were, I may just do that when I next see him, something has to give.
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