Wow
I've tried hard *not* to think about Straight these last few years. Something at work got me on a line of thinking that (typically) leads back to my being re-grooved in that place - St. Pete and the VA sites. My brother mentioned Leigh Bright and her lawsuit. That led me to this site today.
Wow
I fixed my head by going totally Daniel Boone for a year. Took years to forget most. I still see elements of the "conditioning" I received there. Just can't get away from some things I guess.
Reading these various threads is like a dark cruise from a bad trip. I've never talked about this stuff in detail...to anyone...not even mom & dad.
I finished the program. Went off to school, tried to find support in AA and NA. Straight invited me to be refreshed. I refused. They even rounded up my friends to pressure me, but I was wise to their tricks by then and cut off the posse at the pass. By the time they showed for my confrontation, I was already terminated and they weren't allowed to talk to me anymore.
I remember them, some I even kept up with for a year or so. I also remember Leigh, mercifully, I don't remember her bathroom incident. I'm so sad about Lurae, I fostered at her house occasionally. Lived out of a duffle for 18mos+5 days before the program moved to VA. I remember hoping continually I'd wake up from the bad dream and wishing for sleep.
I'm not ready to join any movements. Maybe I'll talk about it to you folks that were there. I survived. Tried to integrate the good and toss out the bad. Not entirely successful, I was re-grooved. Try actively to keep involved with my kids, so they'll talk to me, bypass some of my mistakes. Recognize the dysfunction and cut it off at the pass too.
Yeah, the adults were highly irresponsible. Totally whacked, in fact IMO. Still, I'm responsible for my choices and must live with them. I chose then to think, proceed to assorted other bad moves, then forget and move on, never speaking of my incarceration. I choose now to remember, maybe there will be some value to be gained in the retrospect.
Thanks for the dark ride, it was interesting.
TM