On 2005-09-27 01:39:00, Perrigaud wrote:
"Gung Ho? That's cute. Put it this way. I see both sides. I'm talking to anyone that has a hard time adjusting. I think I kinda sound like a bitch. I think that some of it applied and a lot didn't. I think that it was a too much for a lot of people. Am I for it? No. Am I against it? Yes. Why? Because it's too harmful.
Thing is, shit happens to everyone. Everyone's got a sob story. Life isn't easy. It's damn hard. It all boils down to; are you going to let it bring you down? Or are you going to roll with the punches. Knock every problem out as they come? There are a lot of fuckers in this world. However, those real shitty times sure do help you to appreciate the nice and easy times no? Yes. Life is not a big mystery. Live your life. Make mistakes, learn, grow, enjoy, laugh, cry, get mad, get sad, and appreciate.
Amanda, you have it in you to get over the shit that your stepmother put you through. What she does sucks. But there's no changing her. Do what you need to do and never be like her. "
The thing is, we have talked alot about this and when I mention brainwashing or how the program is harmful you got really upset and even refused to talk about it you got so mad at me. SO the reason I ask is this new attitude towards the program is a new thing to me.
Have you ever been abused by your parents Ash? I have. It is a horrible thing. You know, sometimes it takes a lifetime to "get over" how horrible someone treats you. Its like Brian. You know what hes been through and its not pretty. But you dont tell him to just get over it. You have given him time to make mistakes over and over. You are patient with him. I thought you would be able to do the same for me. Its not like Im angry at you or anything, but one minuit you are getting incredibly angry with me about my new ideas about the program, and the next you are giving me advice about moving on from my horrible experience like you agree with me. Its just confusing.
And I dont think all the time something tragic or bad happening to you makes your life richer and makes you appreciate things more. Do you think the people that survived the genocide in Rawanda were greatful that they were alive? Maybe they were, but their lives were shattered non the less. I dont think the program had anything postive for me. I wasnt able to take the "good" away from it because now I see it was all bullshit, a fake sense of security and identity. I am now having to re bulid myself and its set me back quite a while. So no, Im not greatful for going there and Im not able to "take the good from it". If anything Im just glad I met my friends there that I care for. However, I really wish it could have been under different circumstances.
Dont misunderstand me friend. I love you and you are my buddy. But this whole program thing has been a sore spot ever since I changed my mind. And I just feel a little bit confused about your new attitude is all. I understand your ideas about overcomeing obstacles and all that, as you havnt had the easiest life ever! But telling me I have the power to move on from it and the advice you gave sounded a little bit patronizing. Thats all. You know me and you know that I do live my life and I do what you suggested on a daily basis. But its not that simple.
