I don't know if I would say I like the new Pietra thread. . . it made me remember how much I hated staright. I remember trying to force myself to split. I would leave the group, put my newcomers in the car, make sure my foster bro's were w/'em and then try to walk off grounds and haul ass. Never could I complete my split that way. I did leave on 4th phase during summer school, but unfortunately, I ended up back in group in a refresher that turned out to be many months. God I hated straight, staff and many of the phasers that worked as teh enforcers. I think when I 7th stepped it was one of the greatest feelings of my life. Unfortunately for me, the feeling changed from great to depressed to totally mentally ill as I became unprogramed. I remember going to the local park, climbing a jungle gym, tying a belt around the gym bars, and then wrapping it around my neck. I was really losing it at that point, my life was crashing down around me....so I jumped. I just wanted my world to end. I ended up hanging from the gym bars, choking the living shit out of myself and just asx I felt I was gonnna pass out, the belt broke, and I fell to the ground. Dufus me used on of those stretchy belts from the 1980's. My neck was bruised, swelled up real puffy was difficult to swallow for a couple of days. Thanks straight for nothing. I made it in spite of straight. I am a survivor.
