Author Topic: getting abused at the whitmore  (Read 19334 times)

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Offline Antigen

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #60 on: June 15, 2005, 11:05:00 AM »
007, I don't think you're entirely wrong. But I don't think it's just a few warped parents, either. I think this is the direction in which our society is moving. And that's terrifying!

You probably have wondered (if you've looked around other forums on this server and noticed, anyway) why some of us are still talking about these stupid programs 10, 20 or even 30 years after the fact. I can't speak for anyone else, but my interest has to do w/ trying to understand how an industry as messed up as this one has found purchase in our culture(s).

I think it fits w/ a trend toward trusting the professionals over our own common sense and customs. And it's everywhere. Women used to give birth at home, with or w/o the help of a doctor. Now, we have doctors offering entirely optional c-sections; taking total charge of your new baby and the new mother even before the baby is born. We don't send our kids to school because we value education. We send them to school because it's illegal not too and, I suspect, a lot of people do it because they have NO idea what to do w/ kids. They and everyone they ever knew were raised by hired strangers from a very young age.

So when these strangers tell you your kid is disordered, most people don't even consider that the professional might be trippin'. They go ahead and drug the kid or send the kid to therapy or whatever they're advised to do. When that only makes matters worse, they move on to the next, more radical 'treatment'.

So when some joker comes along promising the cure for all that ails them, they just do what they've always done; ignore their gut and their own good sense and trust the "professionals".

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Offline Antigen

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #61 on: June 15, 2005, 07:50:00 PM »
Damn, no play here at all??? :wink:

May the fleas of one thousand llamas infest your armpits
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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #62 on: June 15, 2005, 08:42:00 PM »
Think most parents tried the "professional route"and when things didn't get a whole lot better at home that's when things really got fucked up and out of hand. The parents got on the internet, read all the glowing Ed Con bull shit and thought they had found THE ANSWER. For most of these parents, it sounded like "manna from heavean." Then the parents call these brainwashed program parents and hear all this testimony about how the PROGRAM saved NOT ONLY THE KID but the whole damn family!!!!
Can't sign that contract and get that escort service to the house fast enough.
If and when reality sets in, we bring our kids home, and start all over again: TRYING TO DO THE BEST WE CAN WITH OUR KIDS--- and here we all are on fornits trying to figure things out, and usually getting the boop beat out of us.
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Offline Antigen

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #63 on: June 15, 2005, 09:27:00 PM »
But why, anon? What do you think of my reasoning on the topic. Don't we trust strangers and hired help way too much w/ our kids? Is it just my glowing memory of days gone by, or is this very much different from the way we used to raise kids?

There is so much in the bible against which every insinct of my being rebels, so much so that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the knowledge I have gained of its history and sources compensates me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention.
--Helen Keller, American lecturer

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Tha Truth

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #64 on: June 15, 2005, 10:19:00 PM »
**007**
I read your post on the previous page, I really tried to understand where you were coming from...but I'm having a hard time.
OK, in response to your comments aimed at the "stupid, rich parents" of these kids, let me set this straight. My dad works 10-12 hour days as a construction worker - not a plush job. Neither of my parents have drug problems and they certainly do have morals. I have five siblings, 3 of which my parents are helping put through college. My parents were at their wit's end with me. I was acting out, drinking, doing drugs, just being crazy. They didn't want to send me away but they had to if they didn't want me to end up in juvie, which was where I was headed. They were not just sending me to boarding school cause they'd rather not have to deal with the responsibility of having kids...they had no choice. Another thing, the Whitmore was definitely not some ritzy boarding/prep school. It was advertised as a RTC (residential treatment center) emphasizing family values, structured like a family home etc. It sounds perfect for people who want a really good nurturing environment for their troubled child. It was obviously not what it was advertised to be. My parents are still recovering financially from my stay there and I've been home for almost a year! Please withold such strong statements about people and their families.  [ This Message was edited by: Tha Truth on 2005-06-15 19:21 ][ This Message was edited by: Tha Truth on 2005-06-15 19:30 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #65 on: June 15, 2005, 10:40:00 PM »
i have to agree with Annie on that one. You cannot open your mouth making comments about families and such that you do not even know. My parents are so far in debt right now, and by no means are they or were they "rich." In fact, they had to get a lot of help with sending me away. Their intentions were not that they did not want to deal with me anymore. In fact, they tried relentless times, and each time, I got worse and more rebellious. They did not want to see me get even worse than I was with their efforts. They tried, and I love my parents for that. I do not know about your family, but Ive got a DAMN good one! :smile:
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #66 on: June 15, 2005, 11:39:00 PM »
Don't know that we "TRUST" strangers all that much with our kids, but we sure turn the responsibility of raising them over to strangers a whole lot.  Just look at 20/20 or Prime Time. Over and over we see these programs with people using video tapes in their homes "catching" the Nanny beating their kids, even little babies! It does make you wonder--what the heck is going on?
In the "glowing days" you speak of--Moms stayed home with thier kids, toughed it out financially...and felt being home with their kids was more important than the two-incomes. And when parents needed ADVICE, they went to THEIR parents and asked---not some shrink! When kids "acted out," there was discipline and rules....not ritalin and all this medications. And I don't mean: physical abuse either, when I say discipline!
People now just want the quick-fix. Sometimes we just might need to sit back and do what parents did back then as silly as it might sound and WAIT a bit: SOMETIMES these kids do "grow out of some of this foolishness" that we let others call UNCONTROLLABLE BEHAVIOR.
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #67 on: June 15, 2005, 11:49:00 PM »
but sometimes there comes a point where you cannot wiat until the kid "grows out," and the parents put so much more effort into it. I know that I love my parents for what they did, and I am glad that they did it when they did. I was getting worse as each day went on, and getting into more and more trouble.
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #68 on: June 16, 2005, 01:24:00 PM »
No OTHER alternatives?  A relative out of state away from the current friends/situation?
In house treatment in your OWN TOWN where there is available individual and family treatment?
There are alternatives other than sending the kid away from home.
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Offline Antigen

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #69 on: June 16, 2005, 01:40:00 PM »
Ok, but why so many?

Anon (last, above) and Anne, I'll take your word for it that you actually were in serious trouble. But how come? What really went wrong?

Then there are the other kids who wind up in this fix; like Chris G. Based on Mary's description of things, he was an excellent student and over-achiever. No problem, except he smoked some pot. That makes him absolutely no different from roughly half of highschool aged kids nationwide (factoring in the very conservative enclaves in this country where far fewer teenagers try pot)

Why are so many kids so overly anguished or confused or whatever? And why do so many parents lose thir grip when their nearly grown kids engage relatively normal, harmless activities?

I honestly think it has a lot to do w/ the shift in customs and attitudes since we started compulsory schooling and the overall medicalization/scientification of child rearing.

I think that today's parents lack confidence in their own ability to handle whatever happens. And we also lack the neighborhood support we used to have. Used to be that if you did anything wrong, even something as trivial as cut through a yard where the owner didn't allow it, somebody would eventually tell your parents. And you'd be made to knock on the door, apologize and promise never to do it again. Now, the neighbors don't even know your parents. You either get away w/ whatever you want or they call the cops. There is no in between. Either you walk the straight and narrow or you're damned for all time.



Revelation indeed had no weight with me.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline 007burd

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #70 on: June 16, 2005, 02:57:00 PM »
I apologize for grouping all families as rich.  I am glad to hear you are doing better and you were able to overcome your problems, congrats.
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Offline 007burd

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #71 on: June 16, 2005, 02:57:00 PM »
I apologize for grouping all families as rich.  I am glad to hear you are doing better and you were able to overcome your problems, congrats.
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #72 on: June 16, 2005, 05:46:00 PM »
well, i understand where you are coming from completely..in fact, there were relatives in our family who were upset with my parents for not "handling" it themselves. I can see exactly where you are coming from, but to be honest with you, if my parents had done alternative methods such as family or whatever, it wouldnt have been any better. My other relatives live in New York, and the area they live in..is not exactly the best. My parents actaully considered that, but for some reason, I dont remember exactly what, it wouldnt have worked out. All I know is that my parents did what they thought were best, and it did work out well. I do know some kids that I lived with though that had parents who just wanted them out of the house and out of their way, which I thought was entirely wrong.
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #73 on: June 16, 2005, 06:51:00 PM »
ginger i know its hard for you to understand but chris was so different as a child and will probably not like me posting this.  He was what most people would call a computer geek writing programs at age 8, he went to a very spiritfilled church and didnt even have a girlfriend till he went away to prep school. he left a kid with short hair who went on all his church trips and was great friends with his pastor tj then i get this call from his prep school, i would have bet in a million years he would have never done drugs, there are no words for how shocked i was. In my day all of the information was pot was the gateway to the really hard stuff i have never tried drugs, smoked and i dont drink and i didnt in my teen years at christophers age i wanted to go on a missions trip in mexico and the only person i knew on drugs ruined his life totally.  I wanted to protect chris so that he would be able to make his dreams come true and live a happy life. I was afraid that he would go down a path that could lead to death and i wanted to protect him and i wasnt the person to try and help him because i have zero understanding of why anyone would do drugs.  As for it being considered normal teenage behavior that was not my reality none of my friends kids were going that route or at least they didnt say so. Yesterday chris saw batman and there isnt a day in his life i dont support him but i dont want him to make decisions that could ruin his life .  We talk everyday and i have never turned my back on him andi have the right not to support what i think is wrong but in the end he will decide what becomes of his life.
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Offline Anonymous

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getting abused at the whitmore
« Reply #74 on: June 16, 2005, 06:59:00 PM »
Isn't your husband A MEDICAL DOCTOR, LADY?
What the hell is wrong with YOU?

GO GET DE-PROGRAMMED!
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