Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Sorry Folks, the Seed helped me!!!
Fran:
Middle age??? That scares me more then being put back in the seed. Just kidding!! Got to lighten things up here.
I wish Jimmy nothing but the best...I am happy for him.
I have not had the horrific experiences some had in the seed. I entered Jan 15th, 73 and I played the game and went home 2 weeks later...and graduated about 3 1/2 months but stayed in oldtimers for about 2 years or so. I stayed straight for about 4 years and then began to drink etc. on a social basis only and experimented with speed and qualudes out of curiosity mostly from what I felt I missed out on after hearing everyone elses drugs of choice in the seed but I was the one that decided at a certain point that I needed to grow up and become responsible. I eventually quit smoking cigarettes and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. When I went into the seed I went from one peer pressure into another. Did the seed really help me? I don't know...I think it just postponed the inevitable. I was the one in the end that had to make the decisions in my life which road I wanted to go down.
But it does sadden me that the seed did hurt so many kids and even 30 years later the hurt and anger is still there. And for others as in Jimmy's case they are happy of the time they spent there. As for me I am indifferent about it...it is a part of my life that is over I can't change it.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-05 05:27:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Antigen, I can't imagine you bringing out hostility in anyone. I wonder why your brother and you can't get along? You always come off as compassionate to me. I am being factious. I think I am about through with posting on this site. You have pissed me off.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, that Antigen...what a bitch. Zero compassion
:roll: :roll:
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... t=10#74226
--- Quote ---Dude, if I were closer, I'd certainly give you the key to my basement. But I'm thousands of miles away.
--- End quote ---
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-05 05:27:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Antigen, I can't imagine you bringing out hostility in anyone. I wonder why your brother and you can't get along?
--- End quote ---
Honestly? Because, no matter what else has happened over the last 30 years or so, the conversation always goes back by some way to the Program. He's usually extholing he virtues of his latest incarnation as an ex-[drugger, drinker, gambler, whatever] and asking me to pretend it makes sense. I can't do that. I suppose it's a little ironic. The one aspect of the Program that I did internalize was honesty. I honestly don't think he ever was an addict or a bad person when he was 14 and my mother got sucked in by Art's schpeel. And I can't watch this ongoing saga and pretend it's all good.
So, if I'm going to get along w/ him, I have to do a whole lot of pretending and ignoring. Oh, and btw, I also have to pretend that I'm terribly unhappy (must be, why else would I drink beer) and that I'm addicted to and spending lots of time and money on illegal drugs (must be, why else would I care about drug policy reform) At the bottom of it, I'm just not that good at--or interested in--pretending. Gimme the real or save your breath. I know, that makes me a difficult person but that's what I am.
Our friends and allies in the Middle East and Europe will soon be subject to forms of intimidation by an Iraqi government bent on dominating the Middle East and its oil reserves,
Project for the New American Century (were they talking about themselves?)
--- End quote ---
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-05 05:40:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Antigen what the f--- do you sugest Jimmy and your brother do? If you hate seeing people go through the RINGER? No one is perfect. Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. I'm sorry -you repulse me. I feel sorry for you. You sound like you need help and don't try to tear down anyone else for trying to help themselves. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but don't f--- with people trying to help themselves.
"
--- End quote ---
This is a very good example of why I can't get along w/ my brother.
What I'd like Jimmy to try is this. Try not thinking of yourself as a powerless addict at the mercy of powerful substances. Try just skipping the self abasement and wearing the hair shirt and just... get back to what you were doing before you slipped up. If actual, physical and psyche withdrawal symptoms are a real problem (I know they can be at times) try finding a medical doctor who's specially licensed to prescribe subutex(sp?) I hear it's very helpful for getting over the initial hump. It's not maintenance like Methadone, but just a medication to treat withdrawal symptoms for about 3 days.
In all liklihood, you're not half as bad a guy as you might think on some days. None of us are, but we all have our down moments.
Now, I ask you, why does my saying that tend to throw you into a rage? I believe Walley that you're a nice guy. Even w/o Walley saying so you seem like a very decent person to me, except when it comes to certain views about the Program. And this is just exactly what happens between my brother and me. If only we could avoid discussing the Program, we'd get along just fine. Trouble is that it's such a core element of his life and personality it's impossible to avoid.
My brothers and sisters manage by just humoring him. They've told me so. I'm just not good at that.
"Narcotics have been systematically scapegoated and demonized. The idea that anyone can use drugs and escape a horrible fate is an anathema to these idiots. I predict that in the near future right-wingers will use drug hysteria as a pretext to set up an international police apparatus."
--William S. Burroughs
--- End quote ---
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-05 06:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
:nworthy: :nworthy: Cheers Greg. I was just getting ready to write a very similar post.
Jimmy, we ARE with you."
--- End quote ---
Damn right! You said it a whole lot better, and more gently, than I could. But that's about what I was trying for.
Religion is all bunk.
--Thomas Edison, American inventor
--- End quote ---
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