On 2004-10-25 07:15:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
as much as i hated my cascade experience-- and there was no LASTING trauma perpetrated against me, compared to some of my fellow grads-- the basic philosophies to which i was exposed while a student of the upper and "leadership" school have helped me through the past ten years... indeed they are the only reason that i am alive, as far as i can tell. granted, it took an unusual personal and private mystical experience recently to see that i owe my very existence to the foundation i was given at cascade, but nevertheless, even through my hardest times, certain thoughts have replayed over and over for me which have been a saving grace more than once.
good deal; i'm glad you've found your savior, cascade. after a mystical englightening, i also learned to acknowledge my time at cedu as being a huge turning point in which i got myself on the right path; 3 years of introspection, having to find myself and my power despite my environment. i'd say i came out on top... i'm sure my old team leader would have to disagree.
anyhow, i'm really glad that you benefitted so greatly from your experience.
what cascade taught is what it knew. if allgood was a scumbag, then so be it. i don't remember having more than one VERY miniscule conversation with him, as he made his monthly cameo, and from it, if he somehow brainwashed me, then he was an effective cult-leader-- cause i never caught wind of any changes in my demeanor.
i don't understand how you can claim that you don't see changes in your demeanor; by making ths statement, i believe that you're contradicting yourself.
(cascade didn't FIX kids. it merely offered a more logic-based, rational choice for those who "knew there was something MORE" in store for us humans.
i'm glad it happened to work our for you, but it was applied in a very illogical, totalitarian manner which turned many others off (even though we were stuck there.) they insisted that we learn their lessons rather than our own.
here, check my logic:
we are (physically) individual beings in our own individual bodies.
thoughts are functions of the brain, an interdependent component of our body.
each body functions in a relatively unique manner.
cascade/cedu have a standardized approach to "help" (and, of course, everyone's idea of how to help is at least slightly different.. when there is extreme dissonance between the goal of the therapist and that of the patient, well, there's going to be a huge amount of resistance on both sides, and rather than having an effective therapeutic relationship, it will usually turn into more of a power struggle) kids.
a standardized approach will almost never have 100% success, because there are too many unique mental processes to be taken into consideration and worked with; the standardized method does not know how to adapt.
besides, what is the goal of such therapy anyway; to instill morality into these "out of control" kids?
morality is a system of our own construction (or should be, at least) usually based on our theological beliefs. our beliefs are just as individual as we are... although, the more standardized they become, the less individual they are. for some people, that is ideal, for others it is not.
in this respect, i view cedu in a similar light as the church... they push their own standardized agenda and claim that if you don't accept it, you'll be damned.
well, being the individuals we are, we all have different conceptions of 'damnation', a highly subjective term.
consequently, we need not worry about declining or accepting our invitations into these elitist moral groups (or making any choice, for that matter,) because, well, you'll always do what you think is best for you (unless you're truly massochistic. and even still, you like the pain that much, so isn't taking that painful path really what's best for you?)
perhaps in the midst of the workshops they could have told us that there were to come at least a couple more superhuman moments... soasto keep our spirits up when facing life POST-program...
i totally agree with you here; they had their focus in the wrong place, for sure.. this made it all that much less appealing. at cedu, i got really depressed and started hating my life rather than looking forward to it.
when it seems the celebrations are done forever-- now merely memories-- when it seems there is nothing more to anticipate in life except the american nightmare----- that there might be a mystical surprise or two) vaguely reminiscent of the better days at cascade. safe moments just like those two years in a "brainwashed" "fantasyland"... moments which i would choose over this depression which would like to call itself mine... ours...
hang in there. you've got positivity ahead in some respects... hopefully in ways you will one day appreciate-
"
this is where you lose me... it's not "the depression which would like to call itself... ours." it's yours, sugar. claim it for yourself and yourself only; i no longer choose to thrive on my depression and cling to my history for relative satisfaction.
i pray that you will find brilliance and levity in your life here on the outside without having to refer back to your past; the gift of beautiful presence is what "more" was/is held in store for me... us... only if you so choose.
_________________
laura solomon
[ This Message was edited by: mikehunt on 2004-10-25 21:23 ]