Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
The humiliating seed!
starry-eyed pirate:
...yeah...thanks...
I thought about this all day... while I went about my life. I am a parent too, though only a single dad without custody, still, I think about it all quite a bit. I like what you wrote earlier, about the way you approach your students. I am very leary of the public school system, private too, for that matter. But it's like anything else; in the midst of despair we find.
...I can hardly address it without bein slightly drunk and havin' Average White Band on the turntable...
Parenting is difficult...still I am a parent now myself and I am not like my parents in the way that I teach.
I border on hate for my parents. I fear I will not know freedom of mind until they are dead. They have done everything to crush me. I am compassionate toward them.
The last time my dad was in town we were sitting across the table from each other, with our family members around, in a restaraunt...staring at each other...I was burning hate with my eyes into him and he was staring back at me, in shame and disbelief. He felt me and I came to...There were no words.
I hold my anger and I forgive them...but I am still crushed.
Thankyou...peace.
GregFL:
the crux of this conversation is basically, what do you do with kids that wont close ranks and act antisocial or self destructive.
The answer is we dont know anything that parenting cant and doesnt. Tearing a kid down and rebuilding him in the image of a group, group leader, or corporate philosophy is obviously harmfull to a great percentage of the kids that have experienced it. Also, the suicides, drug addiction, alcholosim, mental illness and PTSD, post program, is evidence of the failure of this approach.
If a kid is acting out, a parent should use every tool in his DIRECT intuitive power to figure out what is going on and try to address it. Sometimes that doesnt even work. Some kids have internal self destructive triggers, criminal intentions, and sociapathic personality traits. You cannot zipededodah these away.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: ""Guest"" --- Legalize heroine while you are at it. What about prostitution too?
--- End quote ---
Actually, that would be a good start. Do you really believe prohibition does anything else but add to the crime rate? Ever hear of Al Capone? The crime associated with those particular endeavors is due to the fact that it's illegal. There would be no drug crime if drugs were legal.
--- Quote ---They will all learn their lessons naturally. No need to intervene.
--- End quote ---
That's more true than you'd like to believe.
--- Quote ---Don't spank your kids either; it may leave deep psychological problems as well.
--- End quote ---
I think I spanked my kids maybe twice in their lives. There really isn't much of a need for it if you're a smart parent.
--- Quote ---OK I agree the programs that are out there suck, but how can we restructure some to make a difference? We need something without the abuse.
--- End quote ---
You can't. You can't force change on someone without the damage. Not possible. The percentage of teens that actually need to be removed from the home is infantesimally small and those kids are severely emotionally or mentally disturbed and need real, professional treatment.
Anonymous:
Rebellion and acting out are a part of growing up. Sometimes it's THE most important part. Parents start to freak when we realize that our kids are growing a mind of their own. Until then it was easy for us to 'control' them (for lack of a better term). When they start to think for themselves they question what they've been taught. THey question and test everything. One of the most important things I did when my oldest was behaving like a friggin' maniac was to no over-react. It was hard, I was scared most of about 3 years, but with guidance (not control), patience, good friends (both hers and mine) and REAL conversations about drugs etc. (not the overblown hype and scare tactics used today) she came through it. From what I've seen of my friends with kids, it's been pretty much the same experience. The kids whom I've seen have real troubles are the ones whose parents are extrememly strict and controlling. No, I"m not saying you let them 'run wild', but you do give them room to grow. Sometimes that means they'll get hurt, it's part of the process.
starry-eyed pirate:
--- Quote from: ""starry-eyed pirate"" ---...yeah...thanks...
I thought about this all day... while I went about my life. I am a parent too, though only a single dad without custody, still, I think about it all quite a bit. I like what you wrote earlier, about the way you approach your students. I am very leary of the public school system, private too, for that matter. But it's like anything else; in the midst of despair we find.
...I can hardly address it without bein slightly drunk and havin' Average White Band on the turntable...
Parenting is difficult...still I am a parent now myself and I am not like my parents in the way that I teach.
I border on hate for my parents. I fear I will not know freedom of mind until they are dead. They have done everything to crush me. I am compassionate toward them.
The last time my dad was in town we were sitting across the table from each other, with our family members around, in a restaraunt...staring at each other...I was burning hate with my eyes into him and he was staring back at me, in shame and disbelief. He felt me and I came to...There were no words.
I hold my anger and I forgive them...but I am still crushed.
Thankyou...peace.
--- End quote ---
Man that is kinda a crazy post...I been thinkin on this ever since I wrote about my burnin hate for my dad. As I thought about it more and more I began to think it wasn't so much hate as just searin desire for understanding. I mean there was no fuckin around about it. I looked way into him for a good long while. I lost track of the time. I lost track of myself. When I came to, I noticed him lookin at me, real composed like. I felt like I had been out of my body somewhere.
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