Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
The humiliating seed!
Anonymous:
Good for you. How nice that you can be that way. but you still did not answer the question. What about the ones you can,t reach??
Anonymous:
This is my attitude when I'm teaching. I shoot to reach them all! And of course, you can't... we're all human and fallible and have different journeys. But I shoot to be a posititve motivator 100%.
I don't care as much as about the A's as I do about their ability to see what is special and good about themselves.
And I've been both a bad student and a great one. The teachers who believed in me when I was a bad student are the ones who planted the seed of promise in my own mind.
All I'm saying is that kids who really do need help or programs are not gonna get it in a place where verbal abuse, coersion, bullying, humiliation are de rigeur, and lack of independent spirit and thought are suppressed. Some just fuck up more, and others may be "scared straight" but that is not necessarily a whole, free thinking person.
There simply is no excuse for bad "therapeutic" practices to help fucked up kids.
A lot of it just accept natural/logical consequences, stop enabling, be loving, and have boundaries.
starry-eyed pirate:
Hey! I get confused about this too. I was gonna start a new thread on the $tr8 board but seein' as how ya'll already done went and collected the firewood...mind if I join ya ??
The thing is...I was just thinking today about what a bad kid I actually was. I was a true delinquent. I was an arson by the age of 12. Setting garages in my neighborhood on fire with my little brother. I was a vandal. I spray-painted my whole neighborhood as a 14 year old punk. I used to jump the barbed wire fence to steal the governments own spray paint form their supply depot and then run around the base at night gettin' high and taggin' all the buildings. I stole. I thieved. I couldn't be made to go to school.
I was an angry child. I grew up in a military family. My parents were extremely strict disciplinarians. I was marshalled at every turn. I was not allowed to choose my own path in life. Everything that I expressed interest in was denied to me so I could become what my parents wanted me to be, instead of what I wanted to be. As an example, when I told them I wanted to play the drums in 4th grade they insisted that I learn the saxophone instead. They told me that you never hear of solo drummers performing in concert but saxophonists don't need any accompaniment so they can go solo. I didn't care about that I just wanted to drum. I now know of several drum/percussion ensembles that perform professionally. My folks were completely wrong about that.
Later in about 10th grade, just before I went into $tr8 I told them I wanted to sign up for Vo-tech to learn carpentry and masonary and the like. They insisted that I was too smart :roll:. They wouldn't let me take the classes I wanted to take. I never in my life wanted to go to college, but for some reason they made me take all these college prep type classes as if I didn't know what I really wanted to do or something so I was denied that opportunity as well. I remember how my dad always used to admonish me: "Keep your options open, go to college" But like I wrote above it's like they just never listened to me. I never in my life had any intention of goin' to college. My parents actually shut down all my options by insisting that I was going to college. They preperaed me for a life i didn't want and denied me the tools that I really needed. There is an old hebrew saying: "He that does not teach his son a trade teaches him to be a thief". I am not a thief, or an arson now-a-days but this is what happened.
These are just some examples of the trouble I've had with my folks. There is a whole list of examples I could run through to give evidence of their lack of understanding me or even realizing who I am. I think I turned into such an anti-authoritarian punk-ass rebel anarchist because I've had so little choice in my life. Everything has been dictated to me. I became a bad kid because my parents didn't treat me with respect. Can you understand what I'm struggeling to say here ??
So I ended up on front row at $tr8 Inc by the time I was 16. I spent 23 months in there. Copped out 4 times and was eventually court-ordered and finally manipulated into graduating by the threat of serving time in the VA state penn in Richmond. I came out of $tr8 way, way worse off than I was when I went in.
I don't even know if I've lost track of the topic here now or what, but I get confused about all this. I think being incarcerated at $tr8 was the result of my parents extrememly poor parenting skills.
I'm not trying to relieve myself of all responsibility but I was the child, and the adults who were supposed to be raising me should've had way more respect for me than they did.
I don't know.
starry-eyed pirate:
Fuck. Yeah...I really do feel like they just completely sabotaged my life...Like I was born to the wrong parents.
Anonymous:
It's difficult.. parenting. I'm the teacher who wrote before, and I'm certainly not a perfect parent. But what I do strive to do is recognize my children's strengths, gifts, and likes and build on that. I could care less if my sons are doctors or carpenters or candle stick makers. I want them to be happy, self sufficient, and kind. And that's about it. I am very involved as a parent but I'm not overly directive.
Many of us owe our time at the program in large part to very poor parenting. My parenst never parented... they sent me to the progarm in hopes the program could do what they could not.
What I needed was a good mentor, an alternative school (I eventually found one myself), and help with depression/sleep disorder and processing some trauma.
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