Whine all you want but CEDU kicks some mean ass. And I will prove it.
It's better than being held as a POW, or in the iraqi militants case pseudo-POWs. It is better than being shot to death, eating rat poison. It is better than slowly filling up with shit and then painful death. It is so much cooler than being Bubba's bitch. And CEDU is preferable to being drawn and quartered in the town square at noon. I like to call my stint at CEDU "Fantasy Land," or if I am in a particularly jovial mood
I like to call it "SURVIVOR Down on the farm" because after all it is muchos better than eating shit naked in a field of turnips (although I've seen that on the internet, obviously not CEDU folk) I mean come on, where else could a thirteen year old boy get so much direction in his life?? It was fucking great!! having to dredge shit up in front of god and everybody, I mean I felt so small it was amazing!! I could have fit on the head of a pin, just like a disney movie. And what was more, they had these people called staff there. Now these people were so cool, they would order you around and threaten you wow, what a trip. The best part about them was that often times after work, they would smoke pot and get drunk, just like we wished we could. It was like we were living vicariously through our staff people. The coolest was that these staff were not so high and mighty towards us, in fact many of them didn't even have college degrees. And some didn't even have high school diplomas, what a riot. Oh before I forget we used to go through these things called propheets. We would sit in a circle for hours verbally beating down our fellow students in a super fun rap thingie. And what was funny was when they would bring up say a girl getting raped, and the staff would use it against her. Sometimes you would have to stand up in front of the group and get berated for everything you did wrong, and that was cool, it was like god was radiating wisdom down upon you. Oh speaking of god, they only let one religion be practiced openly. And that was so much fun for the rest of us to see them treat some kids special. It just made my heart warm to see someone else getting hooked up with fatty priviledges. We did get to play spades and card games all the time, to better prep some of us for a life in prison. But by far the neatest thing I ever saw was these things called bans. If you were hanging out with someone too much, they would put you on bans, where you could not talk or even look at the person. It was so cool, because it made you look for new friendships, with freaky people. Wow how neat.They would use anything they could against you, and I was like wow, how did you know I did that. Man I tell you, if you have never tried it, just do it dude, CEDU rocks and that is all there is to it. I will talk more about this later.
