I have son at Thayer Learning Center. As such, I am always on the web looking at what others have to say. When I read other's comments, I never find much (if anything) positive. So, this post is my opportunity to add my experiences to the general body of knowledge about Thayer on the internet.
I have met with my son privately away from Thayer so I have a good idea of the program's pluses and minuses.
As with any discussion of a teen's problems, context is everything. Much to my surprise (sound familiar parents?) , I one day discovered that my very bright IQ-wise son was engaged in some very destructive behavior: using hard drugs, selling same, carrying a gun and naturally, failing out of school. I found Thayer through one of the zillion websites connected to the Bundy's. I had about 3 hrs. to make up my mind, call Teen Transport and send him on his way. I spend more time planning vacations -- a sad but true comment for any parent to make. I rated my son's life expectancy on the streets, where he had run off to, in months, if not weeks.
So, here is what I have learned:
1) Thayer is the end of the road; the last stop for teens before prison. It is ONLY for the real tough nuts, the junior gangsters.
2) Thayer is not harsh, it is severe. Again, your teen's context is key. Severe is good if the alternative is emanate incarceration or death on the streets. You need to believe this is your teen's situation before you select Thayer. Sending a kid to Thayer need be your LAST CHOICE. My son told me what a mistake some parents make when they send their teen to Thayer after catching him with a few beers and failing grades. Thayer is not for the nice teen who has temporarily lost his way. There are other schools for him.
3) My son treated therapists & counselors as toys; Mom and Dad's jokes to be played with and manipulated. When therapy & counselors fail, then Thayer may be all that is left between your teen and a life of crime. That was our situation.
4) Thayer is not a therapeutic environment as the term is generally used. There is no "Canine Therapy", no touchy-feelie-feel-good sessions with counselors. Again, if your teen can be saved through a therapeutic environment, then he or she does not belong at Thayer.
5) What Thayer is, is this:
a) More discipline than military boot camp. Let me give you an example: If a teen is sick and vomiting, then he is given a bucket to carry around to heave into and sent off on a day's drill. You really have to be sick to see a doctor.
b) Extreme accountability for one's choices and actions.
c) Instant punishment for mistakes, errors and failure to follow the rules.
d) The out of control teen instantly finds himself in a situation where he has no control any more; other than to submit to Thayer's rules.
e) Thayer operates on a system of credits which the teens manage via PCs. This gives them a taste or real life where they must "pay bills", use credits to get the things they want, e.g. home visits and other privileges. If the kids go "bankrupt" credit-wise, they go back to boot camp to earn more credits to go back into residency. I must say, my wife and I like this part very, very, much.
f) High school classes are available via a home schooling program. A real high school diploma from an accredited school in MO is the end result.
g) There is a progression from boot camp (no control, constant discipline, no talking unless spoken to by a drill sergeant and lots and lots of physical exercise); to residency (opportunity to learn, less discipline) up through senior residency and junior staff. At each level the teen must earn the right to be there by correct behavior.
The emphasis here is to break the teen down, give him a sense of extreme discipline and build him back up. All I know is that it is working for my son.
By the way, my family is not religious in the slightest. From what I can tell Thayer is a Mormon operation -- which I could care less about.
My wife and I did visit Thayer and took a tour. I carefully looked into the eyes of all Thayer people I met. What is saw was people who want to help very, very troubled teens.
In summary, I must admit that I don't know anything about the Bundy's. I did not know anything about Thayer until a few hours after I sent my son off. I do know that he most likely would be dead now if he were still on the streets (an assessment he shares) or in jail on drug dealing charges. I do know that Thayer has completely turned by son around. And, I am keeping him there for the full year. He knows, understands and accepts this.
My formerly overweight and unathletic son is not strong, muscular, proud of his body and very happy about being in good physical shape.
When my son and I met privately (away from Thayer and any Thayer people) he hugged and thanked me for saving his life -- and told me he hates Thayer, hates the constant control and discipline, hates the food (although it seems OK to me), can't stand the constant monitoring, understands why he is there and can't wait to graduate from Thayer and move on to college.
Thayer is working for our family.
If anyone wants to reach me via e-mail, I am at
[email protected].
