Nazi Kick Method

[ehm]

i'll take love and self respect over a permanant addiction to a drug that keeps me from ever finding it, or wanting it.  

if it were free... :roll: nothing's free buddy.

History gives us a kind of chart, and we dare not surrender even a small rushlight in the darkness. The hasty reformer who does not remember the past will find himself condemned to repeat it.
--John Buchan

[Therion]

Love is temporary and conditional...a rush of chemicals to the brain...

[Therion]

Had you asked 2 years ago..I would have sang a diffrent tune mabey.

[ehm]

of course you think that! you're on 170mg of methadone per day. that's fine, your have to lie to yourself in order to be a junkie, and accept that that's what you'll be, for life...
...or you change it, and i did. i am madly in love and am happy right now. it took me a long time after kicking methadone and dope to get to where i am today. but i did it because i didn't want to be an eternal prisoner to a little cup of pink liquid, or anything black or white i could find on the street.

though it may be a chemical that gets the initial "physical attraction" balls rolling, love is as real as the sky is blue. love is not expectational or conditional. it is selfless and beautiful, full of compassion and patience. to speak bitterly of love is to be a person even more desperate for it, than he realizes. or does he? love is perfect in and of it's self, we humans are the ones that distort it.

It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations. -- Khalil Gibran

[teachback]

Love Is The Drug ::kiss::

[Therion]

Thanks alot...now Im a gunna blow mah head off  ::bangin::

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-11 18:14 ]

[Therion]

Nah..Just kidding :wave:  :wave:  :wave:

[ehm]

i'm not trying to be mean brad, i'm just speaking from experience. i know it's really hard to do, but you can't let strangers at a methadone clinic make decisions for you. when it comes down to it, all they really want is your $$$$$$.

i forgot to say, i told my clinic i was moving to a place where there wasn't methadaone available.

i don't know what else to say, except:
DON'T YOU EVEN JOKE ABOUT BLOWING OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!! :evil:  :wink:

When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence.
-- Gary Lloyd

[Therion]

Haha sorry...just sank in that this is probably not the best place for dark humor such as that.
 Im just conversing, I really dont care about the subject of our conversation enough to get upset.
 Methadone or not, I just do not trust people enough to have relationship. And I have been in serveral long term relationships..a marriage, 2 live in girlfriends etc...Women dont want to deal with the walking head trip that is me..my mental scarring and baggage on my shoulders is enough to make a Nun's care wither. Dont think Straight helped out in making me a person that is truely a challenge to even be friends with..
 Im crazy...and not in a fun haha crazy way..Im semi sick crazy ish..And I sometimes make love with animals (ok so that was a lie...I never go past making out with them :eek:  :eek:  :eek:

edit-sp.

[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-12 12:55 ]

[Therion]

Oh and ever time I have a nasty divorce/break up is when I get strung out on Heroin again.

I have a pattern break up...heroin..methadone...new girlfriend, clean couple of years..breakup...heroin..methadone..new girlfriend.., clean couple years...Etc ad nauseum

 Besides Morli, you just got married..Hell you two's honeymoon is barely over ( and Congratulations by the way) so of course you are pro love and positive. Which is great, ya know?
 And I was like that as well after I got married..I honestly thought it was the one.
 But I do have some severe fucking issues. And so did she. But my views on this are only temporary, and reflective of my situation.
 And besides Im a firm believer that relationships just happen out of the blue..however Im done with the singles bar scene or whatever..thats so lame and depressing, going out to shitty bars wasting tons of money on watered down drinks listening to shitty music to try to hopefully meet some women..(Keep in mind I live in Midland Tx...ever seen Midland?! Lol)
Most of cool people move away...so Im a hermit.


[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-12 13:05 ]

[Froderik]

And besides Im a firm believer that relationships just happen out of the blue..

Me too! In fact, I've never had a relationship that didn't begin in an "out of the blue" kind of way. Perfect strangers...and then for whatever reason, they fell apart. Now I've been married for 4 years, with two kids (one of which came along 3 years before the marriage,) just trying to keep it together.

Don't take this the wrong way - your jaded outlook makes a lot of sense. Maybe someday you'll  find someone who thinks along the same lines, and make another go of it..

[ehm]

i've been married before. i've had relationships break my heart or crumble of instability. we all seem to suffer from thinking that straight was and is why we are so fucked up, and why we can't deal with life/people/trust/emotions... my only fear in my marriage is that he's gonna realize i'm not good enough for him, that one day he'll realize i'm just a loser. (but see, that's straight talking) my husband has no mental problems. when i first met him i thought he was such a dork... so... NORMAL! finding someone stable, full of compassion and patience was my saving grace. if i had kept falling in love with someone just as in need of understanding, just as full to the brim with pain, i'm sure it would've gone down in flames again.

i just didn't like hearing you say, kicking doesn't matter, because you don't even believe in love or relationships anymore. BECAUSE IT DOES. and by saying what you did, you're just making a big fat juicy excuse to not get off the pink. i just don't like hearing that denial.

btw - i got your dark humor, kurt gobang and stuff. suicide jokes just aren't ever that funny to me.

take care. ::heart::

A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole.
--Frank Zappa

[The Butcher]

I'll start this off without any words
I got so high that I scratched 'til I bled

I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?

The finest day that I ever had
Was when I learned to cry on command

I'm on a plain
I can't complain

My mother died every night
It's safe to say don't quote me on that

The black sheep got blackmailed again
Forgot to put on the zip code

Somewhere I have heard this before
In a dream my memory has stored
As a defense I'm neutered and spayed
What the hell am I trying to say

It is now time to make it unclear
To write off lines that don't make sense

One more special message to go
And then I'm done then I can go home

[Therion]

Nirvana...............