I am struggling with acceptance at the moment, and one of the things I am dealing with that is fueling this is the presence of AARC graduates in AA meeting rooms. I have to keep reminding myself that they are simply victims of brainwashing and abuse and that it is not their fault that they have forced to believe they are drug addicts and alcoholics, when all they really are for the most part are kids who had some behavior issues. The more I know and come to understand what the AARC program is really about, the more I am enraged that it exists in our city and that large, respected corporation donate money to keep the doors of this place open. AA has always been a safe, warm and necessary part of my life, I have had my ups and downs with it and after a 4 or 5 year absence from the meeting rooms I have recently decided to return. To my shock and surprise every single meeting I have attended has been filled with graduates of the AARC program. What the AARC graduates bring to the meetings is something entirely different than a regular member. It’s like having religious fanatics in the room that literally drain the life out of the meetings. I recently had an experience of walking into a room full of AARC grads at an “open” AA meeting and feeling a clear sense that I was an outsider and not welcome. I didn’t even need to hear a person speak to understand immediately that the meeting was an AARC meeting not an AA meeting. It was so upsetting I actually cried after. I have never, EVER left an AA meeting feeling worse than when I came in. This was definitely a first.
There is a disrespect and disregard for AA like I have never seen before….a sense of entitlement, like they are there to take from the meetings, not add to them. I absolutely despise their presence there and am not alone in this feeling. It’s whispered amongst members but our traditions prevent us from being able to have any serious type of discussion about it. AA would never ask someone to leave, and that’s not what I wish would happen, I wish that AARC would be shut down so it would quite sending people who have no place in AA meeting in the first place. These kids are coming out of AARC toxic and people in the 12 step community are left having to deal with them.
AARC needs to be shut down and I have found myself becoming more actively involved in the growing movement against AARC. As a woman that grew up in AA I have had my share of struggles with some of the dogma in twelve step programs but have come to love the meetings as I have come to love my parents who I couldn’t see were good for me as a young adult. I can only imagine the horror these kids experience if they ever come to understand what has happened to them. My parents came close to sending me to AARC at 19 and at the last minute, due to a gut feeling, decided against it. I am grateful every day for that decision because my journey in sobriety has been my own, not forced upon me.
If you are an AARC grad and are reading this, I am sorry if it is offensive to you... please understand that if you are truly an addict./alcoholic you most certainly belong in AA, however, I would urge you to see a therapist that isn’t related to AARC in any way, and to examine your motives and reasons for being in AA throughout your twenties. I also ask you to respect the long term sobriety in the meetings that wasn’t achieved through the AARC program and understand that the sobriety in the rooms is as valuable and important to the people who possess it as is yours to you. You are in an AA meeting; AA doesn’t exist to serve AARC graduates or the AARC program. AARC is NOT Alcoholics Anonymous, most members have not been through the AARC program and we don’t come to meetings to be subjected to it. Mind your manners and respect your elders. It’s that simple.
