Author Topic: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings  (Read 1625 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« on: October 09, 2009, 01:37:03 PM »
I am struggling with acceptance at the moment, and one of the things I am dealing with that is fueling this is the presence of AARC graduates in AA meeting rooms. I have to keep reminding myself that they are simply victims of brainwashing and abuse and that it is not their fault that they have forced to believe they are drug addicts and alcoholics, when all they really are for the most part are kids who had some behavior issues. The more I know and come to understand what the AARC program is really about, the more I am enraged that it exists in our city and that large, respected corporation donate money to keep the doors of this place open. AA has always been a safe, warm and necessary part of my life, I have had my ups and downs with it and after a 4 or 5 year absence from the meeting rooms I have recently decided to return. To my shock and surprise every single meeting I have attended has been filled with graduates of the AARC program. What the AARC graduates bring to the meetings is something entirely different than a regular member. It’s like having religious fanatics in the room that literally drain the life out of the meetings. I recently had an experience of walking into a room full of AARC grads at an “open” AA meeting and feeling a clear sense that I was an outsider and not welcome. I didn’t even need to hear a person speak to understand immediately that the meeting was an AARC meeting not an AA meeting. It was so upsetting I actually cried after. I have never, EVER left an AA meeting feeling worse than when I came in. This was definitely a first.

There is a disrespect and disregard for AA like I have never seen before….a sense of entitlement, like they are there to take from the meetings, not add to them. I absolutely despise their presence there and am not alone in this feeling. It’s whispered amongst members but our traditions prevent us from being able to have any serious type of discussion about it. AA would never ask someone to leave, and that’s not what I wish would happen, I wish that AARC would be shut down so it would quite sending people who have no place in AA meeting in the first place.  These kids are coming out of AARC toxic and people in the 12 step community are left having to deal with them.

AARC needs to be shut down and I have found myself becoming more actively involved in the growing movement against AARC. As a woman that grew up in AA I have had my share of struggles with some of the dogma in twelve step programs but have come to love the meetings as I have come to love my parents who I couldn’t see were good for me as a young adult. I can only imagine the horror these kids experience if they ever come to understand what has happened to them. My parents came close to sending me to AARC at 19 and at the last minute, due to a gut feeling, decided against it. I am grateful every day for that decision because my journey in sobriety has been my own, not forced upon me.

If you are an AARC grad and are reading this, I am sorry if it is offensive to you... please understand that if you are truly an addict./alcoholic you most certainly belong in AA, however, I would urge you to see a therapist that isn’t related to AARC in any way, and to examine your motives and reasons for being in AA throughout your twenties. I also ask you to respect the long term sobriety in the meetings that wasn’t achieved through the AARC program and understand that the sobriety in the rooms is as valuable and important to the people who possess it as is yours to you. You are in an AA meeting; AA doesn’t exist to serve AARC graduates or the AARC program. AARC is NOT Alcoholics Anonymous, most members have not been through the AARC program and we don’t come to meetings to be subjected to it. Mind your manners and respect your elders. It’s that simple.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline psy

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2009, 01:53:07 PM »
Well.  You've been raided.  Unfortunately there isn't much you can do the way I see it.  Maybe avoid open meetings?  Maybe you could try talking to some of the AARC kids.  Make some friends.  Learn their stories... just be a "normal" friend to them.  It would help them decompress.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2009, 04:02:21 PM »
That is an incredibly simple and helpful suggestion, thank you!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline anonAARCgrad

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2009, 08:48:08 PM »
I couldn't agree more. I see graduates at meetings, or hear the cultspeak about defects, and not getting it, and their sponsor who works at AARC who tells them they are not grateful and need to give back to AARC - BLAH BLAH BLAH. The problem is the folks who are driven nuts by AARC people stay quiet. A number applaud them and gush over them. it is bizarre.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2009, 12:34:46 PM »
So it's "my cult is better than your cult" up in the Great White North, eh?
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Offline anonAARCgrad

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2009, 12:02:42 AM »
Quote from: "Guest"
So it's "my cult is better than your cult" up in the Great White North, eh?

Correct! I've done both,and prefer AA for my brainwashing.
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Offline try another castle

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2009, 06:19:42 AM »
Regardless about my feelings concerning 12 step, (and trust me, you'll get an earful of opinion in this forum that runs the gamut), I think this post comes from a really interesting perspective that I had never considered before. That being the perspective of someone who participates in a program which exists in two distinct contexts.. that being public sector and rehab, and the other being specialized TBS programs such as AARC.

so yeah, thanks for the post. Interesting insight.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2009, 06:22:44 PM »
Quote from: "Guest"
So it's "my cult is better than your cult" up in the Great White North, eh?

FYI, I have struggled with AA my whole life as I was indoctrinated into it at 19 and struggled with that for years HOWEVER, I will say to you and to anyone on here that AA meetings are something that make me feel good which is why I go. I go once a week, to the same meeting and after I don't feel like I am as much as a prick. I don't pray, sponsor, have a sponsor......I share what happened to me in the hopes that it will plant a seed that might help someone down the road, the same way it was done for me. I do have an addiction problem and abstain fully. Nobody in my work and personal world has a similar issue so AA is the only place i can go to not feel completely isolated. It is ignorant to believe that all AA members are cult members and it's offensive to me. AA is cultish and can be attended in a cult like manner, however you are free to come and go as you please, which I have over the years and may do again. That's all.
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Offline try another castle

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2009, 06:59:04 PM »
Quote from: "mizzfortunate"
It is ignorant to believe that all AA members are cult members and it's offensive to me. AA is cultish and can be attended in a cult like manner, however you are free to come and go as you please, which I have over the years and may do again. That's all.


The fact that you and other attendees have voiced concern over the AARC grads' behavior in your meetings, despite the fact that they have been doing 12 step prior, while they were in program, speaks to this.   :tup:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2009, 09:25:10 PM »
Quote from: "mizzfortunate"
Quote from: "Guest"
So it's "my cult is better than your cult" up in the Great White North, eh?

FYI, I have struggled with AA my whole life as I was indoctrinated into it at 19 and struggled with that for years HOWEVER, I will say to you and to anyone on here that AA meetings are something that make me feel good which is why I go. I go once a week, to the same meeting and after I don't feel like I am as much as a prick. I.


Well, that's what religion is supposed to do, isn't it?  Make you feel good, right?  You seem to have a better handle on the AA thing than any Stepcrafter I know.  Good for ya!   Personally, drugs and sex make me feel good, which is why they are MY religion.   If you ever back out of a relapse, you can always send me your drugs instead of flushing them.  THey will go to good use, I swear.........


Yours in drug abusing religiosity,

RTP
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline try another castle

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2009, 09:45:41 PM »
Quote from: "Are Teepee ZooE"
If you ever back out of a relapse, you can always send me your drugs instead of flushing them.  THey will go to good use, I swear.........


Yours in drug abusing religiosity,

RTP


If only there were goodwill stores for this...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2009, 09:51:26 PM »
Quote from: "try another castle"
Quote from: "Are Teepee ZooE"
If you ever back out of a relapse, you can always send me your drugs instead of flushing them.  THey will go to good use, I swear.........


Yours in drug abusing religiosity,

RTP


If only there were goodwill stores for this...


Wouldn't that be nice?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline try another castle

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2009, 10:03:36 PM »
Quote from: "rtp2kooE"
Quote from: "try another castle"
Quote from: "Are Teepee ZooE"
If you ever back out of a relapse, you can always send me your drugs instead of flushing them.  THey will go to good use, I swear.........


Yours in drug abusing religiosity,

RTP


If only there were goodwill stores for this...


Wouldn't that be nice?


You and I need to party at some point.
music + nitrous + salvia + chronic

Sorry, OP. I didnt mean to highjack the thread. Back on topic. Although, always better to disintegrate into talking about drugs then another tiresome debate about whether AA is a cult. We only have twelvity-forty of those on this website.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2009, 10:16:27 PM »
Quote from: "try another castle"
Quote from: "rtp2kooE"
Quote from: "try another castle"
Quote from: "Are Teepee ZooE"
If you ever back out of a relapse, you can always send me your drugs instead of flushing them.  THey will go to good use, I swear.........


Yours in drug abusing religiosity,

RTP


If only there were goodwill stores for this...


Wouldn't that be nice?


You and I need to party at some point.
music + nitrous + salvia + chronic

Sorry, OP. I didnt mean to highjack the thread. Back on topic. Although, always better to disintegrate into talking about drugs then another tiresome debate about whether AA is a cult. We only have twelvity-forty of those on this website.



I'm down with it......and it DOES sound better than indulging in pointless AA bashing (fun as that can be sometimes)
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Offline Che Gookin

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Re: AARC Graduates and AA Meetings
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2009, 10:59:01 AM »
Err... I remember a time like this when an AA supporter would have been shredded alive on these forums. Must be a sign of the times that things are changing.

What exactly do you mean by religious fanatics when you are describing AARC grads at your meetings? Keep in mind I have no idea what an AA meeting is like so it might be helpful if you could contrast the differences between the average AA goer and an AARC goer.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »