For a new arrival, A Parent certainly knows how to handle the quotes, yep. Like a damn pro at it.
Indeed.
I think it's an attempt at "renormalization" by the programmies- they don't have real people espousing the values that they want espoused, so they have to invent some.
Unfortunately they're nowhere near as smart nor as good at fiction as the people on our side of the fence, so their attempts pale by comparison when we do it.
Ha,Ha,Ha, I love that one.....
Ha,Ha,HA, once again, you're showing your true colors... That's right, Who, It's all in our fucked up little druggie heads that this shit happened to us and happens every day and nobody, especially the parents, seem to want to deal with the reality of the situation... Who can blame them. Pre-program parents are seduced by the idea of something that will finally work. (but not all. Some parents are just sick (like the above). Well... to avoid derailing this thread, a parent asked on this board what they shoudl do? well? You really want an honest answer?
My advice to this particular, and these types of parents is to stop trying to shove the kid back up the twat. It isn't going to work (they grow... they don't fit). Kids distance themselves from their parents during teenage years. It's a normal part of growing up. Like a government, when parents take away liberty, the people rebel. It's natural and just. Some stuff made sense, such as "no stealing"... but ... CD restrictions? Searching his iPod? Do you have any respect for his right to make up his own mind? (ability is irrelevant, by judging him, and thinking for him you suffocate his ability to learn by doing, or perhaps even thinking about issues, however controversial) The ratings board will stick an explicit sticker on an entire CD for a single mention of the word, "fuck". As if he doesn't hear "fuck" at high school or hear it whispered by his girl-friend followed by "me harder" (at least he isn't gay). If she isn't on the pill, talk to her mom.
Sure the kid has an anger problem, but he should be talking to a shrink about that, not a cult leader (which is what he'll get in a program). Are all programs dangerous/corrupt/abusive? Theoretically, yes and no... But practically, yes... Because you really can't tell. Some programs get away with incredible atrocities for decades before they get shut down, and when they do... They find a way to re-open or shuffle around.
What to do about his violence? Well. Buy a solid wood door for your bedroom, install a deadbolt yourself(*) or hire a locksmith to do it. If he gets angry, go to your room, put on some bose earphones and blast some deftones or something so you won't hear the background smashing, etc, etc (**)...
What to do about the smashed shit? Well. Simply do nothing. I mean literally nothing. If you have dogs, take them into the back yard but do not clean up anything. Act as if everything is normal. Invite friends over, and when they ask what happened, tell them nothing, but call your son and have him explain, so that he can give his side of the story first. If he refuses, tell the guests so, and if they ask why you aren't cleaning up, tell them that you didn't make the mess, so why should you have to clean it up... Don't tell your son guests are coming over, just do it. If he complains that you didn't tell him, tell him that you don't have to tell him who you associate with, and it's none of his business when anybody comes over. Do this until he either cleans it up himself, realizes that he needs to chill the fuck out, or both. I think you both need to respect each other's boundries and find a way to co-exist. Find out what pisses him off and figure out a way to alleviate that as well, give him more freedom and let him deal with the consequences if he gets in trouble... but have compassion. Family is family and if it's a criminal record we're talking about, everybody needs second chances, especially with ill-concieved zero-tolerance laws clogging up the jails, destroying lives. My opinion is you should offer him a reasonable, but small allowance until he finds a job.
Do you see what I am saying? What you have to do (in my opinion) is to get him to experience the consequences of his own actions, with no interferance from you. Then again. I'm not an expert in raising a kid. Neither are program staff, "coaches" and arguably even psychologists. You know your kid better than anybody else. I can offer some advice, but ultimately you're going to have to figure out something to do (or not do). I do know one thing for sure: that a program is not the answer and will make things much much worse in most cases. Don't believe me? Ok, but you're taking a dangerous risk with your kid's sanity, future, and safety.
* (it takes a drill, a hole saw (attachment for the drill bit) and, dedpending on the door, i believe, a 1 inch in diameter drillbit to drill in the side. The rest you should have if you have a drill.
** I am not knocking the deftones, but you have to admit, if there is music that can distract at high volume, that would be it.
