Burnside's Piece on Mr. W

[Ursus]

I am reposting this piece, originally posted about a year ago.  It captures, for me at least, the essence of many issues that appear to be endemic to Hyde's take on "preparation for life."

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p=183847&start=0

I also went to Hyde School 30 years ago and am somewhat amazed to come across this forum. I can't think of a more disingenuous and destructive place for an adolescent. While the basic premises of character building and tough love seem worthy, and may even work for some who went to Hyde, the overall environment that was created was unhealthy, not to say bizarre.

After 1972 the school became increasingly strident and hysterical. Joe Gauld threw the most outrageous tantrums, shrieking and ranting accompanied by a Hitleresque waving of arms, which in any sane place would have been viewed as unacceptable and aberrant. At Hyde these were perceived as justified and that the recipient must have provoked them by a lack of willingness to accept some deep truth about themselves. I have since learned such behavior is always a cheap, manipulative power play.

The over-emotionalism at Hyde was particularly unhealthy. Manufactured crises, whether of individuals or over the school's direction, was always accompanied by wailing and crying as people confessed their supposed shortcomings and confronted others. There was an incredible lack of privacy, with every aspect of a student's life scrutinized by both faculty and peers. The term "brother's keeper" was twisted to mean betrayal and students were acclaimed for confronting and making public others' "negative attitudes," which really meant maintaining a capacity for independent and critical thinking.

Seminars, now evidently called discovery groups, started out as helpful and supportive, but evolved into a hysterical feeding frenzy as students were confronted over anything from poor athletic performances, which necessarily demonstrated a lack of commitment to themselves, or an inability to "give" and open up their true feelings. After 1972, these frequently degenerated into screaming and wailing sessions.

When you are involved in this environment on a daily basis, one's own sense of reality becomes perverted. Because we were basically isolated on campus with parents coerced into supporting the Hyde Way, hysteria and tantrums became normal, even commendable. There was an illusion created that had no basis in reality. This reality was to be perpetuated by students who were willing to make a lifetime commitment to Hyde. Some of these are evidently still there today.

In 1976, one student who couldn't handle the pressure tried to burn down the Mansion in the middle of the night. As this was the main building at the time, which served as a dormitory, dining area and housed all classrooms, it was a highly dangerous act. While there was considerable damage, there were no injuries.

But perhaps the sickest incident I witnessed occurred in the winter of 1974 and involved the confrontation of a faculty member who will remain nameless. This teacher was a definite Poindexter type, socially challenged but a perfectly decent individual. Evidently he proved unable or unwilling to truly "give" of himself in the faculty seminar (discovery group). Early one afternoon, then headmaster Ed Legg announced an emergency school meeting and this teacher was hauled in front of students, faculty and staff and confronted.

What followed was a scene right out of Lord of the Flies. Ed Legg set the tone, offering up a damning appraisal of the teacher's character and deep-seated problem connecting with the school. He then opened the floor to other students and faculty and 240 people set upon the teacher, screaming and crying for two hours, confronting him with how he was not only betraying himself, but the entire school. "I can't feel anything you're saying," screamed one student. "I'm so disappointed in you, how could you let us down like this," sobbed another.

After this incredible emotional purging he was given an opportunity to "give" something of himself. Obviously in a state of considerable distress, he admitted to an affair he had during the Vietnam War with his best friend's wife. "And the damn woman seduced me," he admitted, choking back tears. This was deemed by faculty and students to be insufficiently giving and the teacher was judged to not truly be in touch with his feelings. Joe Gauld then closed the meeting saying, "But the person I feel most bad for is your son." The teacher had a two-month old baby.

It was all very hysterical, tawdry and pathetic. I remember being shocked and frightened at the time by the emotional intensity of it all. It was a manipulated mob run amuck. As with all of Hyde, the experience had no positive educational value. The only lesson learned was that frightened people in a group feed off each other, and are to be avoided.

To those who feel that people critical of Hyde need to toughen up, my response is there is a difference between toughness and manipulated hysteria and false truth. I had a great deal of unlearning to do as a consequence of my experience at Hyde, which took a number of years. After time past, my parents felt deeply guilty about sending me there. The fact that the same philosophy still exists at the school, and some of the same people, or their offspring, remain in charge is disturbing. To those considering Hyde as an educational alternative, take note of some of the more sober posts in this forum and consider other alternatives.

Frederick W. Burnside

[Anonymous]

I am reposting this piece, originally posted about a year ago.  It captures, for me at least, the essence of many issues that appear to be endemic to Hyde's take on "preparation for life."

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p=183847&start=0

I also went to Hyde School 30 years ago and am somewhat amazed to come across this forum. I can't think of a more disingenuous and destructive place for an adolescent. While the basic premises of character building and tough love seem worthy, and may even work for some who went to Hyde, the overall environment that was created was unhealthy, not to say bizarre.

After 1972 the school became increasingly strident and hysterical. Joe Gauld threw the most outrageous tantrums, shrieking and ranting accompanied by a Hitleresque waving of arms, which in any sane place would have been viewed as unacceptable and aberrant. At Hyde these were perceived as justified and that the recipient must have provoked them by a lack of willingness to accept some deep truth about themselves. I have since learned such behavior is always a cheap, manipulative power play.

The over-emotionalism at Hyde was particularly unhealthy. Manufactured crises, whether of individuals or over the school's direction, was always accompanied by wailing and crying as people confessed their supposed shortcomings and confronted others. There was an incredible lack of privacy, with every aspect of a student's life scrutinized by both faculty and peers. The term "brother's keeper" was twisted to mean betrayal and students were acclaimed for confronting and making public others' "negative attitudes," which really meant maintaining a capacity for independent and critical thinking.

Seminars, now evidently called discovery groups, started out as helpful and supportive, but evolved into a hysterical feeding frenzy as students were confronted over anything from poor athletic performances, which necessarily demonstrated a lack of commitment to themselves, or an inability to "give" and open up their true feelings. After 1972, these frequently degenerated into screaming and wailing sessions.

When you are involved in this environment on a daily basis, one's own sense of reality becomes perverted. Because we were basically isolated on campus with parents coerced into supporting the Hyde Way, hysteria and tantrums became normal, even commendable. There was an illusion created that had no basis in reality. This reality was to be perpetuated by students who were willing to make a lifetime commitment to Hyde. Some of these are evidently still there today.

In 1976, one student who couldn't handle the pressure tried to burn down the Mansion in the middle of the night. As this was the main building at the time, which served as a dormitory, dining area and housed all classrooms, it was a highly dangerous act. While there was considerable damage, there were no injuries.

But perhaps the sickest incident I witnessed occurred in the winter of 1974 and involved the confrontation of a faculty member who will remain nameless. This teacher was a definite Poindexter type, socially challenged but a perfectly decent individual. Evidently he proved unable or unwilling to truly "give" of himself in the faculty seminar (discovery group). Early one afternoon, then headmaster Ed Legg announced an emergency school meeting and this teacher was hauled in front of students, faculty and staff and confronted.

What followed was a scene right out of Lord of the Flies. Ed Legg set the tone, offering up a damning appraisal of the teacher's character and deep-seated problem connecting with the school. He then opened the floor to other students and faculty and 240 people set upon the teacher, screaming and crying for two hours, confronting him with how he was not only betraying himself, but the entire school. "I can't feel anything you're saying," screamed one student. "I'm so disappointed in you, how could you let us down like this," sobbed another.

After this incredible emotional purging he was given an opportunity to "give" something of himself. Obviously in a state of considerable distress, he admitted to an affair he had during the Vietnam War with his best friend's wife. "And the damn woman seduced me," he admitted, choking back tears. This was deemed by faculty and students to be insufficiently giving and the teacher was judged to not truly be in touch with his feelings. Joe Gauld then closed the meeting saying, "But the person I feel most bad for is your son." The teacher had a two-month old baby.

It was all very hysterical, tawdry and pathetic. I remember being shocked and frightened at the time by the emotional intensity of it all. It was a manipulated mob run amuck. As with all of Hyde, the experience had no positive educational value. The only lesson learned was that frightened people in a group feed off each other, and are to be avoided.

To those who feel that people critical of Hyde need to toughen up, my response is there is a difference between toughness and manipulated hysteria and false truth. I had a great deal of unlearning to do as a consequence of my experience at Hyde, which took a number of years. After time past, my parents felt deeply guilty about sending me there. The fact that the same philosophy still exists at the school, and some of the same people, or their offspring, remain in charge is disturbing. To those considering Hyde as an educational alternative, take note of some of the more sober posts in this forum and consider other alternatives.

Frederick W. Burnside

Wow, I could not have said it better.  Gary, this is a piece you could use for your article.  It is quite profound and completely accurate of the Hyde today.  One of the many traumatic incidences I had at Hyde was similar to what Mr Burnside is describing.  I felt embarrassed and humiliated when parents spoke about such horrific things in their lives in front of some of the family of students.  I don't know that the public or Ed Consultants are aware that Hyde exposes 14 year old siblings to stories about incest, rape, suicide, and worse when conducting these so called "family seminars."  I don't think any licensed Psychologist will agree that young people should be exposed to this.  It is bad enough that the students have to expose embarrassing things to their peers, but to have to admit traumatic events in your life in front of strangers and their kids is humiliating in the worst way.  I don't think anyone who represents Hyde will say this is untrue.  This is part of the way, (destructive I might add) Hyde operates on a daily basis.  Even you Billy have to admit this is true and that nothing about this has changed since the 70's.  There is no subject that isn't allowed in these seminars.

[Jesus H Christ]

Does Hyde still operate that way?  

  There must be a syndrome name for the scapegoating purges.  Hyde is not the only organization in which I have had the displeasure of witnessing this behaviour.  It kind of roils around in cycles. I think you could come up with some differential equation model to predict it.  They can't possibly still be doing that ... can they?

 I was always waiting for Jesus to come and "Let he who is free from sin cast the first stone"  Unfortunately Hyde is closer to Life of Brian ... with out the humor.

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!"

Emil

[lucy]

Does Hyde still operate that way?  

  There must be a syndrome name for the scapegoating purges.  Hyde is not the only organization in which I have had the displeasure of witnessing this behaviour.  It kind of roils around in cycles. I think you could come up with some differential equation model to predict it.  They can't possibly still be doing that ... can they?

 I was always waiting for Jesus to come and "Let he who is free from sin cast the first stone"  Unfortunately Hyde is closer to Life of Brian ... with out the humor.

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!"

Yes Soulbro, Hyde is exactly as Mr Burnside describes in his paper!  No changes from my experience in the late 1990's.

Emil

[Jesus H Christ]

Does Hyde still operate that way?  

  There must be a syndrome name for the scapegoating purges.  Hyde is not the only organization in which I have had the displeasure of witnessing this behaviour.  It kind of roils around in cycles. I think you could come up with some differential equation model to predict it.  They can't possibly still be doing that ... can they?

 I was always waiting for Jesus to come and "Let he who is free from sin cast the first stone"  Unfortunately Hyde is closer to Life of Brian ... with out the humor.

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!"

Yes Soulbro, Hyde is exactly as Mr Burnside describes in his paper!  No changes from my experience in the late 1990's.

Emil

   Geezum Crow!  (Mainah talk)  

There is a certain comfort in knowing that other people see the things you see.  On the whole I would be just as happy if it were a bad dream.

Emil

[Ursus]

No dream, just est for teenagers.  Or Landmark, Lifespring, whatever you want to call it.  What is so scary about this scene, is that it is orchestrated by a bunch of sick grownups revving up a couple hundred teenagers to do their dirty work.  

They never liked Mr. W; he was a dork, a dweeb, a geek... the kind of guy who uses pocket protectors for his pens and usually has a couple pairs of pants that are too short.  The kind of guy whose guileless good intentions were impossible to pervert completely.  He went along with their show because he really believed he was doing the right thing: confronting kids re. their attitudes, etc. to help them grow, albeit on a wimpier scale than probably was expected of him.  Somehow, said judgments never quite had the "heat" or castration quotient they might have had coming from someone else.  His heart just wasn't into that part of the program.

And he paid for it, dearly, a la Lord of the Flies style.  In retrospect, knowing what we now know of the predatory nature of Gauld's take on vulnerable women and Legg's misogynistic attitude towards same, the hypocrisy of these penny ante leaders of the stone-throwing contingent is more than absolutely disgusting.  In another time they may have been the town elders revving up the townspeople in a witch-hunting dunk fest.  "And the crowd erupted with shrieks of blood-thirsty cheers as the body finally sunk lifelessly below the surface, a trailing ribbon from her bonnet being the last stubborn vestige seen..."

I hope Mr. W finds this site, and reads that his experience evoked reactions of outrage amongst normal thinking people.  It will be hopelessly small consolation for what was undoubtedly a seminal low point in his life, but I hope it will be some comfort anyway.  He deserved better, and some of us are haunted by this.

[Jesus H Christ]

he was a dork, a dweeb, a geek... the kind of guy who uses pocket protectors for his pens

Hey.  I have a pocket protector for my rotoring fountain pen and drafting pencil.  It is not dorky.  It is cool.  It is hip to be technically astute.  Math is very sexy.


Emil

[Jesus H Christ]

he was a dork, a dweeb, a geek... the kind of guy who uses pocket protectors for his pens

Hey.  I have a pocket protector for my rotoring fountain pen and drafting pencil.  It is not dorky.  It is cool.  It is hip to be technically astute.  Math is very sexy.


Emil

tell me this is not cool:



Emil

[Ursus]

MMMMmm... very cool.  Probably too cool for me.  I prefer the cheap white plastic ones the sales reps give you; I don't lose any sleep over their assured demise...

[Jesus H Christ]

Back to the original point of the first post.  Those purges were vicious.  It is not a lesson I want to teach my kids, or have anyones kids learn.  IF they are still doing those public stoning, shame on them.  They should know better,

Emil

[Anonymous]

Back to the original point of the first post.  Those purges were vicious.  It is not a lesson I want to teach my kids, or have anyones kids learn.  IF they are still doing those public stoning, shame on them.  They should know better,

Emil

Public stoning is part of the process now.  Never did go away. Those poor kids! I remember one girl who broke down in front of everyone as she was forced to talk about a date rape. In the same room was a 13 year old sibling of another who was obviously traumatized listening to this. I believe this is a form of child abuse. It was all done by an aumni parent who was a wannabe psychologist.  He had absolutely no credentials other than being a Hyde parent.  God only knows what happened to the poor girl who was forced to tell all in front of everyone.  I feel sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

A Penny for the Old Guy, Hollow Man?

[Jesus H Christ]

A Penny for the Old Guy, Hollow Man?

Dear Mr The limb bone is connected to the thigh bone,

Jack Straw  could use a penny, but in Malkuth it may not matter.

[Anonymous]

I remember this incident.  I don't think it was in 1976, the mansion was burned during the summer of '75 and this happened befor that. otherwise, it was very much as described. I also remember Mr. W weeping much more than the story.  It was awful. I felt SOoo bad for him.

Mr W took a bunch of us, maybe 5 or 6, I dont remember, up Mt. Washington one winter.  It was organized by DeJong I think, Mr W agreed to be chaperone because he loved that sort of thing. Totally different scene than the dory trips in the smmer, where you had to row till your arms screamed because otherwise you werent pushing yourself hard enough. This was purely for the love of the outdoors.
 
We hiked in 4 miles to base camp during the night.  Snow everywhere, all was silent.  Pace was slowed to accomadate the slower ones.  Spent the night in the base camp shelter (floor, 3 walls, roof, thats it).  Next day up the back face.  Lunch was eaten sitting on top of the tree line (2 ft tall), salami and cheese sandwiches.  Up that last hump, cant remember the name of it,  but its steeper at the bottom, so when you're near the top, you look back and you can see maybe 10 ft of ice and rock and then nothing... for a good long bit, and then the meadow in the far off distance below.  We used crampons and ice picks, don't remember about the ropes.

At the summit, we crawled in through the window of the hut which is always supposed to be open for travelers (door was locked).  Hot Tang never tasted so good!  And then back down to base camp, and the next day back out to the road.  I'll never forget him for that special memory.  One of the best times I ever had.  Maybe it was best because it had nothing to do with Hyde, just a bunch of guys enjoying the winter outdoors.

[Anonymous]

The best things about Hyde had nothing to do with Hyde other than the banality of the program bullshit made them seem more intense.  Kind of like a sip of water after two hours in the wrestling room. It was the things in between, that happen by themselves that were good.